TYE 129: Stop people pleasing and start being selfish with Nancy Levin - a podcast by Shelli Varela
from 2022-03-29T04:00:51
When Nancy Levin’s personal and professional life blew up, she learned the importance of boundaries, selfishness, self care and self love. For over a decade, she was a professional standout working for a major book publisher, Hay House Publishing (founded by Louise Hay). But years of people pleasing, selflessness and suppressing fear and unhappiness at home culminated in divorce, discovery of her affair and the end of her dream career.
She is now a Master Coach, host of the podcast “Your Permission Prescription” and bestselling author of several self-worth, personal development and relationship books, including Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free, Permission to Put Yourself First and Jump … And Your Life Will Appear. She is the Founder of Levin Life Coach Academy, offering in-depth coaching, training and certification programs designed to support students to make themselves a priority by setting boundaries that stick. Nancy Levin is on The YES Effect show to talk about how people can strengthen their relationships and their own self by finally putting themselves first.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why so many people think boundaries and selfishness are bad things
- Why projecting the image of “perfection” is so harmful
- Why Nancy believes the “rocking of her foundation” was the best thing to have happened to her
- Why so many people wait until it’s too late to make a life-altering change
- Why we shouldn’t aim for a relationship that’s in “perfect harmony”
- Why boundaries are actually much more freeing rather than restrictive
- The reason people (especially women) say yes to things we should say no to
- How to avoid immediately saying “yes” in order to people please
- Why being “selfish” can be good and healthy for you
- How you can confidently put your needs first using one small step next time someone asks you what to have for dinner
- How Nancy eventually became comfortable telling her affair story
Quotables:
“We have this idea that the goal of a relationship is harmony at all costs. I’m here to tell you that harmony at all costs comes at a high cost.”
“There’s an epidemic of women and girls saying yes to things they should be saying no to and no to things they should be saying yes to.”
“Most people look at boundaries as being restrictive or depriving. I look at boundaries as the way we are carefully choosing and consciously curating the content of our own lives.”
“Culture has given ‘selfish’ a bad wrap; we pride ourselves on being ‘selfless.’ With selflessness, it’s right there in the word, we disappear.”
“I often look as selfish, self care & self love as being 3 sisters whose job it is to support us in honouring ourselves.”
“My transformation equation: Change = vision + choice + action.”
“On the way to becoming, it’s reintegrating qualities in ourselves that we have disowned and projected onto others, including the light and positive qualities we can step into.”
Links mentioned in this episode:
Nancy Levin’s website, podcast, books and coaching programs: https://nancylevin.com/
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Further episodes of The YES Effect
Further podcasts by Shelli Varela
Website of Shelli Varela