TU11: Gain Influence and Balance Power in Important Relationships - a podcast by Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD

Power dynamics are infused in all relationships, be it romantic, business, political, parent-child, friendships, etc. Most of us want important relationships where both parties feel a sense of mutual respect. While this can sometimes come naturally and with ease, when the balance of power gets off center, relationships can really suffer.



Whether you find it difficult to have your voice, or you struggle to allow yourself to be influenced by others, patterns can develop that impede the safe connections that we generally desire. In this episode, we discuss the difference between exerting power through methods of fear and control and actually being naturally influential and powerful. We also cover being influenced versus giving in.

Why is this important in relationships?

As we’ve discussed in prior podcasts, striving towards internal and relational security is what helps us be resilient when stressed, respond more flexibly to demands of life and enhance each other’s well-being. To function at our best, it is key to have a sense of mutual power and reciprocal influence and to know how to get to that point if it’s not there. 

What can you do?

It’s important to get in touch with whether you feel safe expressing yourself and/or whether you feel open to being influence by others. Do you fear speaking up will lead to the other’s withdrawal of affection? Do you fear that if you listen to your partner, you will feel controlled? These are examples discussed that indicate that an imbalance of power may be in play. Compliance with requests can backfire for the person getting their way!



Be your right size – not bigger or smaller than you really are.



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RESOURCES:

Additional resources for this episode:



* Dacher Keltner – The Power Paradox: How we gain and lose influence

* These and other resources have been collected for you on our Resources page!

Further episodes of Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Further podcasts by Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD

Website of Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD