TU42: Sexual Vitality, Refreshing our Understanding of Sexual Health with Doug-Braun Harvey (Part 1 of 2) - a podcast by Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD

Add pleasure back in to the conversation about healthy sex and the whole conversation changes!



In this very sexy conversation (earphones around little kids are good idea for this one!), we talk about the balance between pleasure and safety as a way to think of sexual health.   “Sexual debut” vs losing our virginity… wow, how fun is that shift in thinking, for example?



This is the first half of an extended conversation with Doug Braun-Harvey, co-author of Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior, Rethinking Sex Addiction, where Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss two of the six principles of sexual health as defined by Braun-Harvey. The following episode, Part 2, will cover the other 4!



0:00 – Intro



2:10 – Conception and construction of sexual health. How has sexual health been traditionally viewed and why has it typically been linked with fear/harm rather than pleasure?



3:45 – Move towards more balance of pleasure and safety when talking about sexual health



4:25 – Conversations about masturbation and pleasure with teenagers.



6:00 – Construction of pleasure as self-absorption vs. getting in tune with your own desires and setting natural boundaries.



7:10 – Sex therapy as discovering internal regulators so pleasure can be had. Most everyone has naturally occurring boundaries, they may have just not tapped into them yet when controlling their desire for pleasure.



8:36 – Outdated construction of sexual health prior to mid-1970s which focused primarily on no unplanned/unwanted pregnancy and no STIs.



9:26 – World Health Organization’s new definition of sexual health: Not just about having a disease, more about tension between parameters of sex around safety, respect and basic human conduct.



11:40 – Sexual Rights: 16 sexual rights added by the WHO



12:12 – Six Principles of Sexual Health: 1) Consent, 2) Non-Exploitation, 3) Protection from STIs and Unwanted Pregnancy, 4) Honesty, 5) Shared Value and 6) Pleasure.



15:15 – 1st Principle of Sexual Health: Consent



16:23 – Age of Consent



17:40 – Legal Definitions of Age of Consent



19:47 – Sex Drug-Linked Behavior



20:20 – Link between alcohol and sex



21:00 – Language of “making a sexual debut” versus “losing virginity”



22:20 – Most debated sexual value: when and how a person can make their sexual debut



24:30 – Difficulty in parents communicating with their children about making their sexual debut



25:44 – Introducing language and idea of consent at an early age



29:30 – Second Principle of Sexual Health: Non-Exploitation



30:52 – Exploitation in Adolescents, in relationship, in infidelity, power imbalance



36:00 – Language of “Sexual Images” rather than “Pornography” and cultural bias/norms associations with that



37:09 – What’s embedded in “infidelity”?



37:49 – Idea of a Sexual Agreement



39:02 – Withholding erotic turn-ons from partner vs. sharing them with partner



41:42 – Anecdote that relates eroticism to falling in love again



42:53 – Pain of losing love due to misunderstood sexual interests



43:43 – Consent and Exploitation in the home



45:31 – Non-Exploitation through make up sex



46:04 – Desire Discrepancy



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Further episodes of Therapist Uncensored Podcast

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