Podcasts by Things That Will Burn In Hell with Phoenix West
Sometimes things suck and deserve to burn in hell. This is a list of those things presented by Phoenix West. To buy the book, click here: http://www.loiteringinwonderland.com/store/
Further podcasts by Loitering In Wonderland Studios
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All episodes
100 - Blogs&Vlogs from 2019-09-10T19:00
This was written in response to episode 99 as a means to say that who gives a shit what I have to say anyway? I'm just some asshole on the internet without a valid opinion. Yay, America! liwstudio...
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99 - Sacred Be Americana from 2019-09-03T19:00
I don't hate America. Don't be stupid. I hate you taking the flag and song as sacred items that ARE America. The places. The people. The things we strive for. That's America. Sacred Be Americana is...
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98 - Ghosts from 2019-08-27T19:00
You're an adult. Grow the fuck up. Scooby Don't isn't coming to save you. Common sense is. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinw...
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97 - Virtual Driving from 2019-08-20T19:00
Do not read this episode description while driving. If you do then you should die. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderlan...
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96 - Dead-Ends from 2019-08-13T19:00
Expose yourself to me quicker. Stop hiding or I'll change your roads forever. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland Al...
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95 - Fast Food (Rapes America) Part IV from 2019-08-06T19:00
Take care of your body of lies. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportsc...
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94 - The Nap from 2019-07-30T19:00
I took a nap seven years ago and I'm still feasting on brains. Black-tar brains. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland ...
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93 - Mile-High Cinema Club from 2019-07-23T19:00
It's like the regular mile-high club except you aren't having sex. But you are getting fucked. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiterin...
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92 - Parental Phrases from 2019-07-16T19:00
This episode offers solid advice that LIW Studios cannot be held responsible for if you consider of follow through with. Obviously. Don't be a fucking idiot. But you already are because you had kid...
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91 - Chinese Letter Tattoos from 2019-07-09T19:00
I can't believe I got to paper cone cups before I got to this stupid shit. Or as it says on your arm, "wisdom." liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com pat...
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90 - The Big, Fat Advertising Dick from 2019-07-02T19:00
Grab those ankles for McDonald's advertising! You'll be lovin' it. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to...
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89 - Fantasy from 2019-06-25T19:00
Imagine a world where you could get your characters out of any situation by the mere flick of your wrist and pen. Welcome to the world of fantasy. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland ...
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88 - Public Restrooms from 2019-06-18T19:00
Bring on the vanilla and genocide. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Spor...
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87 - Game Shows from 2019-06-11T19:00
How about you watch yourself play the best solo game of Russian roulette? liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All th...
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86. Sexual Rap Songs from 2019-06-04T19:00
We're no longer "let's get it on"-ing. Now we're "suck this till all the cream is gone"-ing. Do you like sex? Aren't you special? Better start writing songs about that unique pastime of yours. htt...
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85. Redneck Comedy (Ignorance Part II) from 2019-05-28T19:00
All hail the whitest of trash! liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sportsca...
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84 - Emo Scene from 2019-05-21T19:00
Don't kill yourself over this episode. Seriously. If you do, keep me out of the note. But don't even do it. The suicide part. DO the keepign me out of the note part. But not suicide yourself. Is th...
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83 - Most Jackets from 2019-05-14T19:00
I know. I don't know how I can complain about this topic either but I forced a way. I mean found. I found a way to force it. Wait... Shit. Fuck it and fuck jackets. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loit...
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82 - State Mottos from 2019-05-07T19:00
Phoenix West: The Sexual Fire State. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland All thanks to our Patreon hero: The Indy Sp...
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81. Edward Scissorhands from 2019-04-30T19:00
Freddy Kruger + The Crow - everything about those characters that makes them awesome = Edward Scissorhands. www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/Loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com Pat...
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80 - Tucking Into Jeans (The Art Of Fooling No One) from 2019-04-23T19:00
Go on, tuck that dirty shirt into your jeans. You'll look like you walked out of a Mad Men episode. Your dick will never dry. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland...
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79 - 'Every Move You Make' By The Police from 2019-04-16T19:00
This is probably the longest skit on the show. It gets really creepy but that's what happens when YOU BREAK UP WITH ME BETHANY!!! RIP Emily. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiter...
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78 - Modern Art from 2019-04-09T19:00
Andy Warhol does not equal art. Twisted Metal is a video game and is not art. But the video game is art. It gets confusing. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@g...
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77. Fe-Male Drivers from 2019-04-02T19:00
Vaginaccident. Clitowreck. Mini-Vulvan-Collision. Pull Ovaries and give the motormenstralcycles some womb to drive! And so on. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.c...
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76. NASCAR from 2019-03-26T19:00
Cars go vrooom in a circle. Repeat. Repeat the same shitty mistakes. Your life is a shitty full-circle joke. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loi...
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75. Scooby Doo from 2019-03-19T19:00
This is an interesting episode. It caused a Siri time loop that I still haven't escaped from. Look to LIW+ to see the behind the scenes footage. Homeless Doo and his gang of fuck-ups was apparently...
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74. Dressing Animals from 2019-03-12T19:00
Stop it. Yes, it's cute. Yes, it's stupid. Yes, your animals hate you for it. Stop it. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loi...
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73. Elvis Impersonators from 2019-03-05T19:00
Sad with your shitty life? Pretend to be someone famous... who was also sad with their life. Continue the sad-cycle. Keep peddling! www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringin...
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72 - Predictability Of Actors from 2019-02-26T19:00
I'm pretty sure Will Smith somehow appeared in the background of one of these episodes and he was showering. He just loves it. liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderlan...
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71. Fast Food (Rapes America) Part III from 2019-02-19T19:00
If you're here to fuck around then tune out. This episode is only for those that are serious about their fitness and nutrition regiments. Fast food is a bullet and you're loading your own fat, face...
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70. Fireworks from 2019-02-13T05:24
I say no thank you to boring war on the sky. Just... no thank you. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@g...
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69. Japanese Tastes from 2019-02-05T19:00
How can a people make such delicious sushi when they are so into used panties? Not just into them but they need vending machines for them for when they are on the go and are used panty-less. It's t...
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68. Tabloids from 2019-01-29T19:00
TMZzzzzzzzzzzzz. This was an angry episode. www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com patreon.com/loiteringinwonderland We'd like to thank our non-celeb...
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67. Techno Music from 2019-01-22T19:00
Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here. Insert episode description here....
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66. Stephen King Novels&Movies from 2019-01-15T19:00
Write-recycle-repeat-write-recycle-repeatmakesPhoenixadullreader..... https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderlan...
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65. Space Movies from 2019-01-09T04:13:57
Space...the boring frontier. These are the rantings of a star movie hating lunatic. Or they're okay. Either way. www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/Loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.co...
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64. Christmas In July from 2019-01-01T19:00
This episode just happens to land exacly one week after the real Christmas and it's driving me insane that if I started this series a week earlier it would have been the official Christmas episode....
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63. Sesame Street from 2018-12-25T11:00
If your mouth is stapled to the inside of your goddamn mouth and you don't have lips then deaf people can't lip read you. I call bullshit. The only thing they teach on this street is how to skip sc...
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62. Rapper Films With No Rapping In The Film from 2018-12-18T19:00
Steven Seagal ruined it for everyone. EVERYONE. Blame him for my aggression. Also, stop putting rappers in your films unless the film is about rapping. Because obviously. www.LIWstudios.com Patreon...
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61. Thinking Is Cheating from 2018-12-11T19:00
Don't you dare think of another web-based comedy series when you're watching this you cheating asshole! https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiterin...
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60. Spandex Skin from 2018-12-04T19:00
Like a mobile Chuck-E-Cheese ball pit. If you're trying to replicate the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man you're doing a swell job. www.LIWstudios.com Youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland Loiteringinwonderla...
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59. Pink Men (Scissors Confront Manhood) from 2018-11-28T04:02
I like pink. Pink likes me. But nobody likes to listen to Pink. Even Pink hates Pink but loves pink. Pink's pink is barely pink even when decorated in pink. I don't know anymore. https://www.patre...
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58. Crowd Surfing from 2018-11-21T03:27:33
Stay the fuck off us. I'm not here to be your enjoyment. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com ...
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57. Fast Food (Rapes America) Part II from 2018-11-13T19:00
Must lose weight before this fast food poetry series makes me a fool. Yet again, a sexual poem about fast food served up with extra pickles (1) in only the way Things That Will Burn In Hell can. ...
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56. Bumper Stickers Part II from 2018-11-06T19:00
Back again for more hot bumper sticker talk. Not sure why I didn't just make this all one chapter in the book but that's 2006 Phoenix for you. I can't explain that guy. I still hate bumper stickers...
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55. Nonsense Bumper Stickers from 2018-10-30T19:00
Part 1 of 2 on those sticky bastards made to advertise your shitty beliefs on your car bumper. This is the exact place to post your opinions to gain respect. Just makes sense. https://www.patreon....
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54. The NFL from 2018-10-23T19:00
Ten simple rules for fixing this sport. "But it's perfect the way it is." Just use your imagination and you'll see you're wrong. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios...
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53. 'God Damn' The Offended from 2018-10-16T19:00
This episode started off as a rant about not being able to say the phrase 'god dammit' but ended up being a rageful rant about my goddamn phone and its nonstop goddamn ringing and beeping while I w...
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52. Small Talk from 2018-10-09T19:00
Can we just stop doing this? Just say nothing instead. It's better than the weather or your stupid fucking kids that nobody likes. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudi...
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51. High-Fives from 2018-10-02T19:00
We already covered limp handshakes so now let's discuss the eleveated aerial vertical near-handshakes. AKA high-fives. Also I talk about Pauly Shore but it's all in good fun. It's because I hate fu...
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50. The M. Night Catalogue from 2018-09-25T19:00
I feel like M. Night's career is one big performance like Andy Kauffman. Only nobody is laughing. Except his bank account. Either way, fuck all but 2 of his movies. https://www.patreon.com/Loiteri...
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49. 'Manly' Drinkers from 2018-09-18T19:00
Dad hit/yelled/touched me so now I have to speed drink at bars while yelling at others for not misery drinking like I do. Thank you to all the shitty fathers out there for creating these people. h...
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48. 1980-1989 from 2018-09-11T19:00
Ten years of suck. Stop pretending it wasn't. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com
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47. Isn't It Mislabeled Ironic? from 2018-09-04T19:00
Yet another round of shitting on this song. If you purchase ten thousand spoons then irony is the least of your worries. https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com you...
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46. Cupid (The Romantic Ninja) from 2018-08-28T19:00
Lonely? You're the perfect victim for the saint of archery/murder. He will fucking shoot you with a razor sharp arrow in the goddamn heart so hard that you will be forced into loving another person...
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45. Nextel Phones... from 2018-08-21T19:00
Introducing the new luxury automobile from Nextel: The 2018 Nextel Shitty. Watch the episode to understand that one. Or not. The image explains it all, really. Nextel 2 Way phones were a great and ...
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44. The Messengers (2007) (The Death Of Horror) from 2018-08-14T19:00
Remember that shitty Kristen Stewart movie that was vaguely supernatural? Not narrowing it down enough? This one was driven by crows. The crows showed up with the plot and a family straight out of ...
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43. Paper Cone Cups from 2018-08-07T19:00
Whoever invented the paper cone cup probaby never used one. It's a quick way to ruin not only paper but also water, your shoes and the dryness of the floor all at the same time. https://www.patreo...
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42. Limp Handshakes from 2018-07-31T19:00
Wet noodle handshakes are a quick way to figure out if someone is a puss. Ladies, this applies to you as well. Just shake the goddamn hand and stop acting like a princess. Fellas, this applies to y...
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41. The Midwest from 2018-07-24T19:00
To be honest the midwest is a fine place to live. Phoenix needed to escape it though after growing up in Michigan. If you want your 2 year old car to have severe rust spots then this is your place....
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40. The South (Ignorance Part I) from 2018-07-17T19:00
Hate english? Blacks? Cold weather? The American south is for you! Phoenix West lived in Mississippi for 5 months cleaning up after Hurricane Katrina and despised the place. Here is why. www.liwst...
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39. The Lord Of The Rings Film Trilogy from 2018-07-10T19:00
I used to hate these movies. I no longer hate. Now I tolerate. I still find them overly long and boring. Watch as Phoenix reads off his version of the series in which Sam and Frodo are in a gay rel...
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37. Groundhog Day from 2018-06-26T19:15
A woodland creature sees its shadow and that tell us the weather. We're fucking stupid and deserve to have terrible things happen to us. Things such as burning in hell. www.LIWstudios.com www.youtu...
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36. Frat Comedy from 2018-06-20T00:00
Everyone climb aboard the STD bus! Next was a shitty "game show" on MTV or something. It featured shallow people judging other shallow people in an attempt to find love. Love meaning a 40 second hu...
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35. Yo Momma from 2018-06-12T19:00
If you were on That 70's Show, you are not allowed to make television shows anymore. Stop it. Unless you're Donna as a side character on OITNB. That's allowed. Other than that, stop it. www.LIWstud...
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34. Beauty And The Geek from 2018-06-05T16:20
Ashton has no soul. This show has no purpose. And it isn't officially cancelled. Let this show be a warning to us all. www.LIWstudios.com www.youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland loiteringinwonderland...
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33. The Real World from 2018-05-29T16:10
LIW Studios does not agree with calling women 'sluts'. The use of the word is only directed at the dirty sluts that appear on The Real World. Which is neither real nor exists in the real world. You...
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31. Trick My Truck from 2018-05-16T00:00
Remember that show where they threw Pimp My Ride at the Jeff Foxworthy crowd? C'mon, you remember! The show where they pretended to steal big rigs from trucks to fix them up and then the trucker wo...
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30. Overdose Of Shampoo from 2018-05-08T19:00
It's a serious problem that effects half of the population. Well... the men that aren't bald that use shampoo. It's a goddamn problem and we need to hold the shampoo companies responsible. We will ...
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29. Magic Tricks from 2018-05-01T19:00
The greatest trick a magician can pull is paying their bills. As well as others. Fuck magic. If you're so good at magic, here's a trick for you. Kill yourself. But make it look like a murder framin...
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28. Renaissance Festivals from 2018-04-24T19:00
To be fair, there are a lot of super attractive women attending these things. But it would be like if they put a 20 minute, hardcore, gay sex scene in the middle of Toy Story. Sure, it's still a gr...
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27. The Absence Of Manly Actors from 2018-04-17T19:00
In the words of Paula Cole, 'Where Have All The Cowobys Gone?' Indeed, Paula, indeed. Hell, even if we cast Paula Cole in a movie now she'd be more manly than most of the men currently leading film...
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26. Deafening Car Stereos from 2018-04-10T19:00
Want to walk down the streets with a megaphone screaming, "Hey, everybody! I'm a huge asshole!" but also feel like spending a ton of money? Why not pour all of your paychecks into turning your car ...
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25. You! Here Or There In Any Weather Then from 2018-04-03T19:00
Grammar be hard. So hard, yo. And weather nor not your a geneyus or not it is hard to remember witch words two use when righting a post online. This simple and ez to rmbr video will help u to keep ...
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24. Lipstick from 2018-03-27T19:12:48
Quick! I need to look like an untouchable painting! What do I do? Well, have I got an idea for you. Here, smear this red wax all over your lips so nobody wants to touch you. But don't stop there. A...
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23. Popcorn from 2018-03-21T03:56:19
What's your favorite treat that comes with a hearty cock center? Why it's popcorn of course! Hate your teeth? Hate flavor? Hate your health? Try popcorn! Now available in a handful of terrible flav...
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22. Graveyards from 2018-03-13T16:01:24
I don't have a big enough ego to need to be have a small, underground, studio apartment when I'm dead. Just burn my body to ashes like an old, embarrasing Polariod from college. Or not. Just let me...
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21. Nonsense Movie Labels from 2018-03-07T02:34:08
Want to know what to feel during a movie trailer but can't rely on silly things like the visuals and audio in the trailer? How about if some scary or soothing voiced man tells you EXACTLY what you ...
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20. Movie Trailers from 2018-02-27T18:03:11
In a world where things only happen to beautiful people and ugly villains, a 30-ish male, model is forced to face a dangerous and secret organization. With the help of his distractingly hot female ...
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19. Ocean Based Movies from 2018-02-20T16:02:15
The ocean is a big, wet bitch and should be avoided regardless of shark quantity. The ocean is a great way to find a surprise syringe in your child's foot. The ocean makes a terrible setting for fi...
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18. Fast Food (Rapes America) from 2018-02-14T02:13
This is a very sexual take on fast food. Or is it? I don't know. I guess that depends on your definition of sexy you disgusting, garbage human, you. Regardless, it's the first of many poems on t...
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17. Face Tattoos from 2018-02-06T08:00
Face tattoos are the most effecient way to let everyone else know you're probably not a reliable human being and to just look elsewhere when handing out opportunities. So actually, thank you face-t...
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16. Guys With Long Hair from 2018-01-30T08:00
Well we're in full man-bun mode lately so this felt like perfect timing to release this episode about guys with long hair. Actually it was just the next chapter of the book so deal with it. This ep...
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15. Bicycles from 2018-01-23T08:00
I envision a bike-free future. A world where the cycles of bi are a thing of the past. A world where our children are free to walk along the sidewalk without fear of hearing someone scream "on your...
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14. Dance Movies from 2018-01-16T07:30
Why is dancing in movies the ONE time the ghetto has unusually high standards? It doesn't make sense. Oh, and also, dancing isn't a job. Nor is it a sport. It's just a thing that's sometimes fun th...
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13. 'New And Improved' from 2018-01-09T07:14
Pick one, you dicks. It can't be both. www.LIWstudios.com
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12. Full-Body Painting from 2018-01-02T23:51:02
Well it's football season. Or it was. Or it will be. Either way, time for the NFC North fans to paint their guts and start screaming for their terrible teams. This is coming from a Vikings fan, min...
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11. Cowboy Hats from 2017-12-26T07:05
Fuck cowboy hats. And boots. And music. And life. End it. Or not. I guess it's really not that big of a deal. www.LIWstudios.com
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10. Casinos from 2017-12-20T06:20
Want to throw your money in the garbage but want to add some flair to it? Then a casino is for you. Go ahead, waste your hard-earned money on that shit. www.LIWstudios.com
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8. Sports Bars from 2017-12-05T08:00
Can't play sports but desperately want to watch sports while drinking away your life remember when you could play said sports? Then welcome to your local sports bar. Check out the north corner of t...
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6. Shitty Poetry from 2017-11-21T08:00
Writing your feelings in poem form is not an art. It's just a shorthand diary at that point. We do not want to read your boring diary. Just learn to be clever about it. Deal? Good. www.LIWstudios.com
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5. Looking At Loudspeakers from 2017-11-14T08:00
Your alien overlords demand that you stare at speakers when someone is speaking over them. I can't think of another reason everyone stares at them in public. Obviously it's left-over survival insti...
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4. Horseback Riding from 2017-11-07T08:00
Horseback riding is fun. There is no denying that. Horses throw people off of them. There is no denying that. They do not want you on their spines. Obviously. This should be common knowledge. www.L...
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3. Mustaches from 2017-10-31T23:29:42
For the first official video episode of Things That Will Burn In Hell, Phoenix discusses a sensitive subject to all of you victims out there. That of course is the creepy nature of men with mustach...
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2. The Song "Let It Snow" from 2017-10-05T04:13:25
Christmas is a sexy time of year according to popular Christmastime tunes. Phoenix West quickly breaks down the song in a new light, as if the song were a plea for someone to just release the snow ...
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1. TyP1nG L1k3 Th1$ from 2017-10-05T03:48:49
Welcome to the very first episode of Things That Will Burn In Hell. Based on the book 100 Things That Will Burn In Hell, a book that started off as Myspace articles back in 2006. You read that righ...
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