The Daily Yes - ep 34 - Yes to the vision, no to all else - a podcast by zen jen

Often times our ego tells us or our friends tell us, or our family tells us that our vision has to be smaller in order for us to fit in. Sometimes others control us or vice versa and use intrusive & devisive ways...then some interpret it as you doing something wrong to trigger the negative attention. One time I was telling my boyfriend about me not jumping to solve a problem for my ex husband when he alluded to an issue that he wanted me to solve for him without him actually asking me for what he wanted. After hearing the story my boyfriend asked why I antagonized my ex. This blew my mind and woke me up to the fact that he too was inept at asking for what he wanted and therefore was not a great match for me. And simply the act of me writing this down is helping me realize how I can better ask for what I want and also accept and move on when someone says no to what I want. This comes back to soft talk, manipulation, guilt and shame and how they are used to keep things the way they are. People often blame and shame others when they don’t give them what they want when in reality they have never asked for what they wanted. This method of blame shame & keep it the same are simply control mechanisms that by the nature of life, will always be resisted and challenged.I realized my vision is beyond just me and that this quest to be heard is not about me either. Sometimes that’s the only thing that can keep you going in the face of critics and crucifixion.

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