What To Do When You Feel Jealous - a podcast by Mike Robbins
from 2018-11-06T08:00
In a world where we are constantly posting our achievements, our successes, and the highlight reel of our vacations on social media, it’s understandable that we would feel jealous from time to time. On this week’s episode, we talk about jealousy and the impact it has on our relationships, our work and even our own feeling of worthiness. We talk about how to deal with the energy of jealousy when it shows up, and even when a little jealousy might be good for us. If you ever find yourself challenged by jealousy in your life it's important to remember it's rarely the feeling that holds us back, it's what we do with it that matters most.
Key Takeaways:
[4:34] We all have different situations that trigger jealousy. For some, it’s about money, fame, or public success while for others, it’s the jealousy over someone else’s love or relationships.
[8:32] Feeling jealousy is part of the human experience. It’s what we do with the feeling that matters. The four steps to move through jealousy are:
- Recognize.
- Acknowledge
- Forgive
- Change
[9:10] Most of us (myself included many times) tend to recognize our jealousy and even acknowledge it, but yet continue to punish ourselves and then repeat the same patterns. The real shifts happen when you forgive yourself for feeling jealous and change your behavior upon accepting the feeling.
[9:29] When we feel jealous, it’s common to fall into the trap where we believe if we prove our accomplishments we will be good enough. When we truly believe that we are enough, we are just being our authentic self, and not needing to prove it to the world.
[16:44] In work, relationships, and life in general, we typically get the results of which we believe we are worthy.
[18:11] Standing in the place of worthiness is something many of us are not taught in childhood even up to early adulthood, but it is an important skill we can practice daily.
[18:25] Know the difference between positive and negative competition. Positive competition is healthy, motivating, and brings out the best of us and the people around us. Negative competition breeds jealousy and the idea that someone must lose for us to win.
[26:05] Notice the energy that comes up when you feel jealousy. Usually, these feelings relate to a time in our development that we are still stuck in or a place where we are continuing to believe old stories or patterns.
- “Am I Getting Enough?” — Child
- “Am I Good Enough?” — Adolescent / Teen
- “Am I Doing Enough?” — Young Adult
Resources:
Purchase Bring Your Whole Self to Work and gain access to bonus material.
Further episodes of We're All in This Together
Further podcasts by Mike Robbins
Website of Mike Robbins