131 – I’m More Confused Now, I’m Broken - a podcast by Damon L. Davis

Elissa, from Hilton Head, South Carolina, said never bonded with her adopted mother. She did find a second home with her horseback riding coach and the horses she adored.
Finding her biological mother gave Elissa a glimmer of hope that the woman stokes and extinguishes in a torturous cycle.
Speaking with her birth father only once, she confirmed the story of his own paternity, but Elissa never heard from him again.
Relying on her husband, the first person she’s shared real love with, Elissa wishes reunion didn’t leave her so confused and feeling broken.
This is Elissa’s journey.
Elissa (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/m06Z3uf9j3E6kepKRwj2aLzMNVXJd9V9wZOhx_QXjuWT9GYiijlbQJusddgjFhBFivfAYPJP5Y2qLgVwrEs87fsWwMk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplinkandts=3.8 (00:03)):
I am that 37 year old woman now who is dying to be hugged and held by their mother. Like, I need that moment in my life. I feel that I deserve it and I feel unbeknownst to her. She deserves it too. Beause I know that she's carrying this huge darkness over her, that she has the chance to make. Right?
Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/m06Z3uf9j3E6kepKRwj2aLzMNVXJd9V9wZOhx_QXjuWT9GYiijlbQJusddgjFhBFivfAYPJP5Y2qLgVwrEs87fsWwMk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplinkandts=31.04 (00:31)):
Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis. And today you're going to hear from Elissa in Hilton head, South Carolina, Elissa never bonded with her adopted mother, but she did find a second home with her horseback riding coach and the horses she adored. Finding her biological mother gave Elissa a glimmer of hope that the woman Stokes and extinguishes in a torturous cycle, speaking with her birth father only once she confirmed the story of his own paternity, but Elissa never heard from him again, relying on her husband, the first person she shared real love with Elissa wishes reunion. Didn't leave her so confused and feeling broken. This is Elissa's journey. Elissa was born in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania then adopted out of the children's home orphanage in Pittsburgh.
Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/m06Z3uf9j3E6kepKRwj2aLzMNVXJd9V9wZOhx_QXjuWT9GYiijlbQJusddgjFhBFivfAYPJP5Y2qLgVwrEs87fsWwMk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplinkandts=102.92 (01:42)):
Every summer. Her parents took her to the children's home summer picnic, where she kind of questioned why they were there. Elissa learned she was adopted at about four or five years old, but she really didn't grasp what adoption meant until she was around six. She said her adoptive parents weren't very communicative about her adoption or her birthday. So she's always questioned both. Most importantly, she didn't look like them and never really felt like she fit in with her physical appearance, nor did she feel that internal synchronization, that many biological families feel for one another. Elissa never really bonded with her adopted mother and her adopted father was often working.
Elissa (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/m06Z3uf9j3E6kepKRwj2aLzMNVXJd9V9wZOhx_QXjuWT9GYiijlbQJusddgjFhBFivfAYPJP5Y2qLgVwrEs87fsWwMk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplinkandts=147.53 (02:27)):
I found out that I'm 72% Italian and my father, my adopted father is also Italian. I do have some similarities with him, but I have very dark olive skin, Brown eyes, Brown hair. I look Italian. My father is kind of short. He kind of has hazel eyes, you know, salt and pepper hair is, all I've ever known him to have. My mom, um, came from a Jewish family. She also was adopted and she had blue eyes, fair skin and blonde hair. So physically I didn't look like them. And none of my behavioralism in me mimiced any of them. It's like everything they tried to make me to be. It just didn't feel natural and almost kind of felt like a put on, like I can't explain it.
Damon...

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