Ep27 How to Forgive - a podcast by Irish & Father Len

Father Len shares the forgiveness method he uses along with his experiences learning to forgive.

Highlights, Ideas and WisdomFather Len confesses that he is “not great at forgiving,” but he’s working on it.
Forgiveness is a skill that can be learned just like all the other virtues.Forgiving is like an exercise, the more you do it, the better you get.
If you learn to forgive small things, you build up the forgiveness muscle so that later you can forgive other things.The LETGO forgiveness method Father Len uses has five steps:

L – Look deeply at what went wrong.E – Apply Empathy
T – Tell a better storyG – Give forgiveness
O – One more day to remember choosing to forgive.You may not be able to forgive immediately after an insult or injury because you need time to mourn.
Anger prevents forgiveness.Prolonged anger can turn into bitterness.
Anger is a reaction to a feeling. You can train yourself to replace anger with forgiveness.Forgetting the insult or injury is not the same as forgiveness.
If you don’t give yourself time to really feel the pain of the injury or insult, it can become easy to hide behind anger.Quick compulsive forgiveness may actually be fake forgiveness and a form of denial of the insult or injury as well as a sign that you’re more comfortable being a doormat.
Empathy is thinking about what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes and awareness of their pain.Stories change our opinions, not evidence.
Stories with a message of hope cause the greatest change.Telling the same story to yourself over and over carves a deep rut in your memory. That can be good or bad.
We must learn how to forgive ourselves for stupid things we’ve done.Praying that you’ll have a sincere desire for forgiveness, even if you don’t have the ability, God will answer that prayer.
Releasing an expectation that is causing you to suffer is a significant element in the forgiveness process.

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