What is Power? - a podcast by Jo Smith - Yoga Punx Unite

For a long time I’d play the victim. When anything went wrong I’d think ’why me’ and in some cases proceed to cry. I felt helpless.

I’ve spent most of my life trying to battle with anxiety and depression, and the negative self-talk and self-doubt that comes with it. I can recall 4 different times in my life where I’ve ”failed” to win against it in a massive way leading to breakdown and burn out.

As a child and teen, these cries of helplessness we’re because I didn’t understand my anxiety and why I had it. I’d tell myself, Everyone else copes and leads normal happy lives, why not me.

As an adult in my mid-20s, these cries of helplessness turned to hopelessness. I was over it all.

I worried most about how my irrational and sometimes unexplainable reactions and outbursts affected others. I not only worried about what I was going through, but how it was affecting those close to me.

I was Looking for someone to save me, to just say “I’m here with you, you are safe.” Instead of feeling the pain of judgment, like people thought I was crazy, and me thinking I was losing my mind.

Waiting to be left on my own, and thinking I deserved the loneliness that would follow.

Something had to change and the only person who could initiate that change, was me. I had to take action.

For a long time I referred to these feelings as ’spoiled child syndrome’ because in my eyes I couldn’t see why I could possibly be allowed to feel the way I did when I’d had such a privileged upbringing. I came from a loving family, I had a good education, I always landed good and well-paid jobs. And other than being bullied at 14, I had a good group of friends.

I was and am aware of the privileges I have in society as a white middle-class woman and I felt guilty that I wasn’t more grateful for it. Even though I was internally suffering from my own existence, I would tell myself I had no right to feel the way I did. I was echoing the words of those who did not understand the complexity of mental health and continued to tell myself “pull yourself together girl”.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I accepted my mental health disorder as a real thing. I realized it didn’t define me and instead chose to be empowered by it than to play the victim.

I know now I can help others who suffer in silence.

Power is a word we often associated with money-hungry businessmen or politicians. It’s one of many unfortunate results of the patriarchy that the word ’power’ has become an uncomfortable word to use.

But knowing how to tap into your personal power and use that strength to make a positive change in life is paramount if you want to feel comfortable in your own skin.

A definition of power is the ”ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something.”

You honestly have all the resources you need to overcome any of life’s challenges. There are solutions to your problems.

No. You can’t tackle all these problems at once. No you can’t go straight for the biggest problem. No you can’t just jump from A to Z. Taking any of those approaches will make you feel overwhelmed.

It’s about taking small steps, making small changes, and celebrating each accomplishment you make.

If you’d like to join the live recording of Yoga Punx Unite, you can sign up for free via my online studio.

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Further episodes of The Punks Unite Podcast - Health + Wellness for Rebels

Further podcasts by Jo Smith - Yoga Punx Unite

Website of Jo Smith - Yoga Punx Unite