Podcasts by You Cant Do That
A podcast about hockey from three women who have more opinions than information and LOTS of feelings about the Washington Capitals. These enthusiastically self-righteous idiots aren't here to win - they're here to make friends! (And talk about which hockey players are cats and which are dogs.) Join Eva, Kelly, and Rave for jokes and yelling about the latest league headlines, player antics, and more.
Further podcasts by Never Not Media
Podcast on the topic Eishockey
All episodes
#143: Crush You, Crumpets from 2022-02-18T00:05:37
"Local short king makes good." If the recent performance of the Washington Capitals is any indication, we’re fully in our clown slip era, so Rave, Eva, and Kelly are leaning in with the help of som...
Listen
#142: Feel'd Day from 2022-02-10T22:10:17
"Over-produced yet under-interesting." What a weekend! The NHL’s alleged “all stars” gathered in Vegas for embarrassing sketch comedy and some approximation of beer-league hockey and in the process...
Listen
#141: Right-Click-Save That Ape from 2022-02-03T22:10:55
"Flopping loose provolone all around." Kelly, Eva, and Rave kick off the year of the tiger with hearts full of feelings over Braden Holtby and brains full of next-level ideas to improve the All Sta...
Listen
#140: Cryptid Internship from 2022-01-27T19:49:39
"The audacity. The PAW-dacity." Which teams are at the top of the NHL right now? Seriously, we're asking, because between allegations of shapelessness and the darkness of McNugget McMinutes, lots o...
Listen
#139: Through A Wormhole Darkly from 2022-01-21T01:36:22
"I know what you did last anytime." The Avs are trying not to laugh, the Caps are trying not to win, and Eva, Rave, and Kelly are trying to figure out if certain NHL teams can make it out of implau...
Listen
#138: The Chicago Bootleggers from 2022-01-13T23:33:44
"Rachael Leigh Cook-ing it through life." The Bootleggers referred to in this episode's title have nothing to do with the hockey team currently playing in the Windy City and everything to do with t...
Listen
#137: Bitcoins In A Metaverse Wishing Well from 2022-01-07T21:04:24
"On the basis of 'feels like it.'" Ready to get going? Better be, because it's 2022 now, allegedly, and Rave, Eva, Kelly, and the NHL are hitting the ice at a slow glide. This week: Ovi ascendency,...
Listen
Bonus: Merry Happy Hockey Goopsmas from 2021-12-30T15:06:03
"You're gonna lube this." While we enjoy a lil holiday break, we hope you enjoy this formerly Patreon-exclusive bonus segment. Continuing a journey we first began in Episode #131, Rave leads Kelly ...
Listen
#136: Bitter, Immoral, Godless from 2021-12-23T15:51:38
"You could bungee jump off that DNA strand." It's that liminal period before the end of the year and Eva, Kelly, and Rave react accordingly with a grab bag of hockey topics, lightly bonkers stuffed...
Listen
#135: The Spankies from 2021-12-16T17:34:03
"Very Fehervary." This week, Kelly, Rave, and Eva return to activities both sacred (analyzing the Capitals' rookies' astrological charts) and profane (casting hockey players at random in trope-y se...
Listen
#134: Peak Bestie from 2021-12-09T17:34:40
"The yeeter got yoinked." Rave, Kelly, and Eva are pretty tired of watching the same group of coaches play musical chairs with NHL teams, but thankfully this week also served up delights like a pup...
Listen
#133: Who Bites?! from 2021-12-02T16:56:23
"We've seen the veins a-pulsin'." The Washington Capitals are currently at the top of the Metro division and Eva, Rave, Kelly, and all our idiot boys are having a great time about it while it lasts...
Listen
#132: Kid Rock's Little Caesars Emporium from 2021-11-25T15:20:52
"Metro-spreading. Ew." Honk yr car's little gay horn: We're heading to Connor McDavid's McMansion of Sorrows for this Thanksgiving feast. Kelly, Rave, and Eva's list of conversation topics to avoid...
Listen
#131: On The Verge Of Tasteless from 2021-11-19T00:12:17
"Two stubborn white wrong guys." The holidays came early to YCDT: Eva's back in the U.S., Goop's back with another absurd gift guide, and the Caps beat the Penguins 6-1 in front of god and everyone...
Listen
#130: Kinda Fun! Also Grim from 2021-11-11T17:13:16
"They are their own MLM." Eva, Kelly, and Rave explore a real grab bag of concepts this week, including the Golden Knights' commitment to the bitchy blushy bit, the parameters of "drip," multi-leve...
Listen
#129: Enemy (American) from 2021-11-04T17:15:57
"It's like undead Grink." Eva is week-to-week with an upper body injury (broken internet in France), but we save a seat for her at Rave and Kelly's date night dinner table as they sort our new Caps...
Listen
#128: tHe MiAsMa oF HoRRoR from 2021-10-28T18:31:23
"We found a SNAKE and it's MAD." Feel that vaguely threatening vibe in the air? It's the personification of spooky season! And its howling at the moon as it crawls on its bony hands and knees towar...
Listen
#127: Mise En Trash from 2021-10-19T21:35:13
"Head Head and Bone Bone." We're off to the races, a phrase which here means "Not yet disappointed by our teams or players and fully enjoying the NHL season so far." Knock wood for us, gang. Up for...
Listen
#126: Tkachuksa Nostra from 2021-10-12T15:03:31
"He's rhythm guitar passing, for sure." Kelly, Eva, and Rave are ready to be hated if that's what the plot requires! Well, ready for the Washington Capitals to be hated, anyway. Come on down as we ...
Listen
#125: The Elephant Vacuum from 2021-09-14T14:56:06
"I'm uptight but I got a foible." The Capitals are converging back in Washington and Rave, Eva, and Kelly are converging back on the mics, and we’re all basically loitering in the school gymnasium...
Listen
#124: Assigned Meat At Birth from 2021-08-03T14:10:20
“We teach Genos to shrink themselves.” While the pod is away, the NHL will lose every last one of its marbles, apparently. Eva, Kelly, and Rave are back to weigh in on the Stanley Cup Final, a sill...
Listen
#123: Load-Bearing Paper Dolls from 2021-06-15T14:11:27
"It's the yikening." Like Nate MacKinnon in a press conference, we're trapped in the semifinals with four teams we don't super love, and as a result our pod energy is fomenting a "School's out for ...
Listen
#122: What's The Mitchuation? from 2021-06-09T16:51:18
"All you need is some goddamn therapy, bitch." If there's one thing Rave, Kelly, and Eva are qualified to talk about, it's hauntings and curses in the NHL. Their qualifications to discuss the other...
Listen
#121: Gatekeeping Flip Cup from 2021-06-01T16:57:07
"Marc is the man. Andre is the fish." As the remaining teams head into the second round, Eva, Rave, and Kelly check in on our highly acclaimed playoffs bracket to determine who's got the speed for ...
Listen
#120: O Bettman, My Bettman from 2021-05-27T13:10:12
"He was living life too deliciously." Ready to get pucks deep? Ready to play our game?? Kelly leads Eva and Rave in a close literary reading of the first round results, including some very scientif...
Listen
#119: The Vibe's In Hell from 2021-05-18T15:32:19
"You can't bully a carnival worker." It's playoffs time! Again. Somehow. Rave and Kelly welcome back friend of the pod Danielle to check in on the Caps versus...whichever team that is, Jack Eichel'...
Listen
#118: Born On The Floor from 2021-05-11T15:47:48
"It's for furries. And for me." As the hell season draws to a close, Eva, Kelly, and Rave engage in a few of our Things (favorite and otherwise): TJ Oshie appreciation, Evgeny Kuznetsov apologism, ...
Listen
#117: Cinched It from 2021-05-04T21:25:07
"I'm sick of these guys. Dot meme." If you think Kelly, Eva, and Rave are above armchair psychologizing NHL coaches based on their astrological charts: Reconsider! Other things they're not above: h...
Listen
#116: Follicle Watch 2021 from 2021-04-27T13:12:15
"Is there a Mrs. Mr. Crumblegoat?" This season just. Keeps on chuggin', huh? Rave leads Eva and Kelly through a week of Big Z appreciation, former-Capitals revenge tours, Pasta spilling the tea/bee...
Listen
#115: Acceptance Pod from 2021-04-20T14:33:48
"Oh my god they were co-stars." Your podmoms Eva, Rave, and Kelly have had time to process their trade deadline emotions and are now ready to discuss what happened in a calm, rational way. Mostly. ...
Listen
#114: Beard Benching from 2021-04-13T14:30:03
"No - weird - sex stuff!" Some may say we done goofed by recording this episode before the trade deadline. But is it not enough to revisit a simpler time when Jakub Vrana was still a Washington Cap...
Listen
#113: The McNugget Manscape from 2021-04-06T15:33:05
"A case of the whoopsie sleepies." Do we want to kiss or slap the past week of NHL hockey? Hard to say. Eva, Rave, and Kelly chat about a string of Caps "wins," a range of player motivation "strate...
Listen
#112: Eau du Heterosexuál from 2021-03-30T15:51:34
"I am rigging the game right now." This week, Kelly, Rave, and Eva go long on bad reffing, bad commentary, good coaching, good trades, and - with apologies to our sweet Sabres buddies - the latest ...
Listen
#111: Eyes Wide Shut For Bros from 2021-03-23T16:34:54
"It is the Smurfs that are wrong." Much hockey occurred in our two weeks away from the mics, some good (Ovi goals!), some alarming (...the Flyers.......y'all...). And yes, Rave and Eva and Kelly di...
Listen
#110: Debunk THIS from 2021-03-09T16:40:42
"Love to watch a mean teen fight a sun bear." Eva, Kelly, and Rave contribute to the Tom Wilson hitscourse in this otherwise light n frivolous episode. Expect lots of birds, a trio of uninspired Sc...
Listen
#109: Cruller Of The Month from 2021-03-02T16:00:32
"Short Kings Fight Club. SKFC." Welcome to our anti-capitalist sports podcast, where this week Kelly, Rave, and Eva spend a not-insignificant amount of time picking names out of a hat to cast hocke...
Listen
#108: Horse Girls Are Face Blind from 2021-02-23T16:27:04
On the discussion docket for Rave, Eva, and Kelly this week: several questionable Caps games, art modeling, Sid's celebration, sinister moose, furries, the Yotes' yikes, Lake Tahoe 'fits, and Rave'...
Listen
#107: Canuck Cuck for Tkachuk from 2021-02-16T16:37:53
This week, Eva, Kelly, and Rave grab their metaphorical craft supplies to make a valentine to weird blind dates, weird commentary on the all-Canada division, and weirdly specific warm-up jerseys. T...
Listen
#106: S*per B*wl S*turday from 2021-02-10T18:18:25
Kelly, Eva, and Rave take a brief pause from talking self-deprecatingly about the Washington Capitals to be weird as hell about topics including high school theater, the Bruins, the Tkachuck Fucker...
Listen
#105: Colleague (Well Regarded) from 2021-02-03T21:38:42
So many debacles to recap, so little time! Rave, Kelly, and Eva chat about weird but welcome Capitals wins, Zdeno's big goal, our friend Vitek Vanecek, and other news from the NHL. Plus: the (accid...
Listen
#104: Contemporize Your Shtick! from 2021-01-28T16:30:17
Every day of this weird dumb season has contained a year's worth of joyous idiocy, bad takes, and y’know. Hockey. This week, Eva, Rave, and Kelly discuss the Caps being made an example of, PLD peac...
Listen
#103: Older, Bigger, Kinder from 2021-01-20T21:24:30
Oh, listeners, we're in it now. Kelly, Eva, and Rave dissect some highlights from the first few days of this weird hockey season, including the Caps' general horniness, the Canucks' general struggl...
Listen
#102: Jams In The Stable from 2021-01-13T17:22:05
"It's truly the feminine monstrous in action." As the world continues to horrify and disappoint, Rave, Eva, and Kelly gather to find some levity in mid-aughts mall nostalgia, media bitches, the ins...
Listen
#101: Dicking Around from 2021-01-07T17:11:49
"That's not how you make a stew." It's the calm before the new-season storm and while, yes, there are things for Eva, Rave, and Kelly to discuss - including new Washington Capital Zdeno?? Chara????...
Listen
#100: A Postmodern Breakdown from 2020-12-30T16:56:12
"The game is 'Everyone gets a girlfriend.'" Triple digits, y'all! We spend our hundredth episode leaning in even harder on our podcast #brand, and you know what that means: uninformed gossip, astro...
Listen
#99: Drunk Histories from 2020-12-16T18:00:51
We've threatened this for ages, and it's finally time: Eva, Kelly, and Rave pour some beverages and step up to the plate with THREE very special "Drunk History"-style tales from hockey history. Che...
Listen
#98: World-Eating Thighs from 2020-12-09T23:51:14
Wanna post up at the dive bar in your hometown to catch up on the latest gossip about the professional hockeys you knew in high school? Grab a stool and a cocktail - Rave, Kelly, and Eva are alread...
Listen
Official Trailer: Season 4 from 2020-12-05T22:56:17
Eva, Kelly, Rave, and a weekly podcast about hockey (mostly).
Listen
#97: Time Warp! Penguins @ Capitals, 2/7/2010 from 2020-12-02T18:37:57
The NHL is still MIA, so Kelly, Rave, and Eva seek out some hockey-flavored serotonin in the form of a classic Pens/Caps barn-burner from 2010. You don't need to pre-watch or queue up the game to e...
Listen
#96: Teen Freaks Can't Thrive (Listener Questions 2020) from 2020-10-28T19:04:18
We opened the floor to our Patreon supporters to Ask Us Anything, and ask they did. Come hang as Eva, Kelly, and Rave discuss topics including YA book tropes, menial tasks, weed shops, life-threate...
Listen
#95: Brains Like Jordan Almonds from 2020-10-21T20:42:07
The 2019-2020 season is technically over now, we think, and while that means little of the information presented in this episode is "about" "hockey," rest assured: Kelly, Eva, and Rave manage to ma...
Listen
#94: Are You Afraid Of Free Agency? from 2020-10-14T17:50:15
Free agency’s here and spreading spooky-ass vibes all over the dang place, so Rave, Kelly, and Eva huddle 'round the campfire with ghost stories, gossip, and a haunting, mournful wail for our OG dr...
Listen
#93: The Disneyland of Ass from 2020-10-07T18:50:50
Eva, Rave, and Kelly would like to congratulate the 2020 Stanley Pandemic Cup winners, father-to-be (!) Dylan Strome (?!?), anyone invested in trade rumors, and people who assign star ratings to st...
Listen
#92: Severe Teacher Voice from 2020-09-30T16:41:33
Have you been wounded by ghosts? You might be after this episode, in which Kelly, Rave, and Eva make now-outdated but not entirely incorrect predictions about the Stanley Cup finals. Plus: Ovi's bi...
Listen
#91: A Home For Wayward Finns from 2020-09-23T18:02:31
Rave, Kelly, and Eva dive in to the Stanley Cup Finals with the enthusiasm of an affection-starved hockey player seeing a tiny baby for the first time in months, and consult an old friend of the po...
Listen
#90: On Too Much Of One from 2020-09-16T17:15:11
Eva, Kelly, and Rave cover a real breadth of topics in this episode, including but not limited to: homophobia in the NHL, ocarinas, the language of disease, ANTM makeovers, the Dallas Stars?!?!, th...
Listen
#89: Chekhov's TK from 2020-09-09T13:11:20
A bunch of our favorites have had their playoffs tickets punched. Frown emoji! Kelly, Rave, and Eva unearth some pre-pandemic listener Qs to make the eulogies for our beloved Canucks, Flyers, and A...
Listen
#88: The Shallow Well of Patience from 2020-09-02T22:27:23
With Eva away, Rave and Kelly had asked friend of the pod Danielle to hop on the horn for some light pandemic-playoffs chitchat. Then a bunch of garbage happened, because the world itself is garbag...
Listen
#87: Simps For Ted from 2020-08-26T16:47:41
Round 2 has begun and the babysitter we grew to warmly tolerate is donezo. Looks like Eva, Rave, and Kelly have some unexpected fondnesses to examine. Plus: pride and boredom in Las Vegas, how to g...
Listen
#86: If It Sucks...Hit Da Bricks from 2020-08-19T15:57:02
When we recorded this episode, we were entirely convinced the Capitals would be eliminated from the first round of the pandemic playoffs on August 18. Joke's on us! Other jokes: overtime play, Jim ...
Listen
#85: Too Much Exposition from 2020-08-05T14:00
The Pause is officially over, we guess, and that means your hosts need to figure out how the hell these qualifying games actually work. Something about…robins?
Listen
#84: Hotel Whomst from 2020-07-22T21:32:46
Hockey is returning, which seems dumb because we already decided that the Flyers won the playoffs and also because there's a pandemic happening, Gary! Thank goodness Eva, Kelly, and Rave are mostly...
Listen
#83: The Lisa Vanderpump Canon from 2020-04-30T02:02:50
A special guest joins Kelly, Eva, and Rave for a rollicking super-sized extravaganza episode that celebrates the parts of the hockey season we remember and the 2020 Stanley Cup playoffs we totally ...
Listen
#82: Gay Baby Jail from 2020-04-22T19:26:19
Topics for discussion in this, our sixth pandemi-sode: true crime podcasts, "Anne With An E" stans vs. "Too Hot To Handle," Catholicism, performative child crime, our cats (OBVIOUSLY), and...hockey...
Listen
#81: Game Commentary from 2020-04-15T21:37:35
We watched the face-off between the Caps and Penguins in Game 5 of the 2009 Stanley Cup Finals and recorded our commentary live over Zoom. Sid. Ovi. Alexander Semin. Hat tricks. Remember hockey?!?!?
Listen
#80: Coastal Foraging For Razor Clams from 2020-04-08T23:25:38
In another world we’d be talking about the end of the regular season, but in this world? We’re talking razor clams. “Moonstruck” (1987). Poufy sleeves. American Girl dolls. Stilts! We’re building c...
Listen
#79: Ah! Sounds Mighty Right from 2020-04-02T00:56:29
A friend of the pod returns to introduce Kelly and Eva to his version of ASMR in this, our third pandemic episode. We’re spiraling a little! But in a fun way, promise.
Listen
#78: Welcome To The Void from 2020-03-25T20:49:38
There's not a lot of hockey to talk about these days, but that’s never stopped us before!
Listen
#77: Disasterpod! from 2020-03-14T23:41:49
In an effort to self-soothe at the end of an exTREMEly unsettling week, Kelly, Rave, and Eva take a journey to the past with talk of One Direction, personality types, and NHL draft classes. Stay sa...
Listen
#76: Untitled Gusev Game from 2020-03-04T22:02:39
While Eva is away, Kelly and Rave will dive into a week of Caps foolishness and assorted NHL updates with extra-special Gemini and New Jersey Devils advocate Producer Danielle!
Listen
#75: Leafed It! from 2020-02-26T23:49:47
The Caps can have a win against the Penguins, as a treat? It appears so! Other treats: Ovi’s chef’s-kiss 700th, our big fighty new baby, a solidly wonderful dreamboat, and the pure uncut reactions ...
Listen
#74: Catfight In A Junkyard from 2020-02-19T18:24
Your YCDT hosts? They know things. They know about hockey players, for example, and also teams. Eva knows about trades before they happen. Rave knows about friendly-fire injuries. Kelly knows about...
Listen
#73: The One With All The Rats from 2020-02-12T20:08:30
Comedy losses abound for the Washington Capitals, but Eva, Kelly, and Rave are unbothered. After all, who could be stressed when there are so many rat boys in the NHL to love? Tune in for a full ac...
Listen
#72: Consolation Crime from 2020-02-05T19:16:06
After a sloppy afternoon loss, we have no choice but to address the Penguins in the room. (Pens fans, please avert your ears! We love u too much to wanna hurt you!) Also on deck: a tale of bravery ...
Listen
#71: A Good Bi Week from 2020-01-29T20:57:18
This bye week is showdown central: All Stars past vs. All Stars present, Gritty vs. some kid’s dad, rule breakers vs. law makers, and genuinely soul-warming progress vs. institutionalized homophobi...
Listen
#70: F#$&*d-Up Under-Rock Bugs from 2020-01-22T18:00:46
From Nicke’s contract to Ovi’s hatties (PLURAL?!), it’s been a week of good news for Caps fans. We’re thrilled but wary. To balance it out, Eva, Rave, and Kelly offer up a questionable dreamboat, a...
Listen
#69: Nice. from 2020-01-15T19:21:50
Surprising no one, Rave, Kelly, and Eva use this inauspiciously numbered episode to explore horniness in all its forms. Expect chaos lesbians, chipped teeth, big donks at Top Golf, Moscow alter-ego...
Listen
#68: Very Informed Punditry from 2020-01-08T19:18:46
How 'bout that Caps/Sharks OTGWG, huh? As far as goals go, it was a lot like the bolt of denim wrapped around Jamie Benn's cowboy hat at the Winter Classic: inexplicable, intoxicating, and ready 2 ...
Listen
#67: Gremlin On The Shemlin from 2020-01-01T18:26:21
New decade, literal exact same buffoonery. Say hi to 2020 with Eva, Kelly, and Rave as they consider the fresh appeal of Jonas Siegenthaler, medically impossible boners, Victorian madonna/whore com...
Listen
#66: Going Fast, Huge from 2019-12-25T17:01:04
Big brunch energy dominates this week's discussion. From Mamá and Papá's anniversary to Rave's smooth dreamboat, everyone is laughing and riding and Radko-ing in the true spirit of the holiday season.
Listen
#65: An Egg For Everyone from 2019-12-18T19:20:22
This episode is brought to you by Taylor Hall’s coyote calling, Connor McDavid’s soul dungeon, our sudden fondness for Todd Reirden, and a sack of flour with googly eyes on it that weighs the same ...
Listen
#64: The San Jose Wife Guys from 2019-12-11T17:16:47
Are you jacked up on soup yet? If not, you will be after this episode, in which Eva, Rave, and Kelly discuss such varied topics as Miss Bong’s midnight spiriting away, rebuilding rebuilt rebuilds, ...
Listen
#63: Shenanigannery from 2019-11-27T18:15:10
This week Catie, Eva, and Rave go long on spit, spite, palpable relief, and a magnificent dreamboat who is enormous in stature AND in heart. Due to timing and illness, they go short on, um...everyt...
Listen
#62: Ev-kevin/Kev-geny from 2019-11-20T16:56:36
D*n Ch*rry is OUTTA HERE! Eva, Catie, and Rave truly love to see it. Other topics for discussion include teal lampshades, a girlfriend-shaped dreamboat, bad and/or absent coaches, Senior Dogs, and ...
Listen
#61: Hot Dumb Hockey University from 2019-11-13T20:11:56
Catie, Eva, and Kelly spend a big ol’ chunk of time on this week’s special segment, but once you hear its premise, we think you’ll understand why. Plus, a nice thing about the Bruins and a loooong ...
Listen
#60: John Carlson Cannot Twerk. from 2019-11-06T22:26:42
Don’t let the title scare you! This episode is actually full of stuff that Kelly, Eva, Catie, and Rave like a whole lot, including (but not limited to) reality television, departing Capitals beat r...
Listen
#59: The Snickscourse from 2019-10-30T18:16:09
A curséd photo and a hockey with ties to Vacationland bring Rave, Catie, Eva, and Kelly together. A mini candy bar threatens to tear them apart. Plus: Apologies, animal familiars, and eboy center-p...
Listen
#58: TLV (Tender Loving Vengeance) from 2019-10-23T17:37:52
Between getting caught off guard by a dreamliner of a man and seeing "the Jupiter Ascending of hockey games" in the flesh, the coven had some not-that-chill experiences this week! Time to recap the...
Listen
#57: Welcome Meat from 2019-10-17T18:27:32
This episode is all about JOURNALISM. We’ve got front-lines reporting from two games, an exercise in satirical headlining, and hot takes on a new NHL captain (and our new dog, Captain). It’s a mud ...
Listen
#56: Abs All The Way Down from 2019-10-09T16:04:30
Season 3 of YCDT! It begins!! Expect talk of corn husk hair, spooky sticks, and a familiar beloved Dreamboat, plus a robust analysis of NHL teams' BDE (no, not that kind). We're back and weirder th...
Listen
#55: A Very Dope Cocoon from 2019-09-11T19:35:14
The end of summer is a wistful time. What better way to commemorate it than by luxuriating in the reflective yearning of this year's Burning Man Missed Connections? Plus: a bigger egg than before, ...
Listen
#54: Spiritual Veneers from 2019-08-07T19:30:18
There are so many good big boys in hockey for us to love. This episode is not about them. For our second Summer Special, we feast on the souls of our enemies - both real and imagined.
Listen
Bonus: A Bull Named Captain Obvious (feat. Jason Rogers) from 2019-07-19T16:21:35
Rave makes Catie and pod buddy Jason Rogers play the worst game of all time - again - in this, our first Summer Special of 2019. You may THINK you know which lewd descriptions were written by hocke...
Listen
#53: YCDT's Senior Hockeys Sanctuary (Listener Questions 2019) from 2019-07-03T18:16:11
We're wrapping up Season 2 of YCDT with another all-listener-questions ep! Which movie needs to be remade with hockeys? How would Gritty spend a day with the Stanley Cup? Why does the pod "hate" wa...
Listen
#52: A Pleasant Fiction from 2019-06-26T19:07:47
This was gonna be an episode devoted to listener questions but then Nicke dad-winked on Twitter and the Preds traded PK so your hosts felt a that news debrief was needed.
(Also, Rave's in...
#51: Alexa, Play Pitbull from 2019-06-19T18:46:50
Cheers to the St. Louis Blues, to trades that don't make us wanna die, to chaos energy, and - most importantly - to the complex web of planetary energy that guides and influences every NHL team. An...
Listen
#50: Projected Misery from 2019-06-12T17:24:39
Between the Holtbys at Pride and a possible sockeye mascot in Seattle, Rave, Catie, Kelly, and Eva don't have a ton of energy left for, say, either of the teams competing in the Stanley Cup Final. ...
Listen
#49: Spooking A Hunk from 2019-06-05T17:19:34
As aspiring hockeys are put through the ringer, the coven contemplates which tasks could better measure their mettle. Along the way: sighing at the Stanley Cup Final, laughing at ECHL trophy drama,...
Listen
#48: Oh, And Your Kids Are Ugly from 2019-05-22T18:35:38
So did the Sharks, like...try? And do we care?? Kelly, Rave, and Eva gather to discuss effort vs. narrative compatibility, plus tricky insults, draft class character, teen movies, and more.
Listen
#47: This Episode Is Not Called "Sex Cousins" from 2019-05-15T15:49:53
We're in the conference finals now, baby, and your coven has some OPINIONS about the remaining teams. In the words of Maury Povich to his hyped-up audience: Whose side are you on, anyway??
Listen
#46: Powerwashed from 2019-05-08T16:59:27
Round Two keeps on keepin' on, huh? We've got a powerwasher nozzle in one hand and a Bud Lite Lime in the other and we're ready to party about it.
Listen
#45: Loose Noodles from 2019-05-01T18:45:35
Is this episode full of sadness because the Capitals got eliminated from the 2019 playoffs? Only a little bit! Your hosts temper their disappointment with talk of ethics, newly adopted sons, and an...
Listen
#44: The Ferda Metric from 2019-04-24T21:46:07
Round One of the playoffs continues apace. Sweeps! GWGs! Homecomings! Respectful farewells (promise)!! Plus, we submit for your judgment and approval two distinct flavors of hockey talent show. Tasty.
Listen
#43: Mea Hornimus Culpa from 2019-04-17T16:20
This podcast gives off a strong "late-night game of F***, Marry, Kill on the bus ride home from regionals" energy all the time, we know. But in this episode, we make it literal. Plus: PLaYoFfs ChAo...
Listen
#42: Alabama Baby Thot from 2019-04-10T19:55:17
We've got some playoffs anxieties to work through! Thankfully Miss Eva has prepared a rigorous program of children's stories and hyper-specific drags to distract and prepare us.
Listen
#41: Cat Law and Sunfish from 2019-04-03T17:47:34
What a week: Ovi scored his 50th (and 51st lol), Eva and Catie drank curséd frosé at a Preds game, we remembered that Nolan Patrick stole his mom's credit card, and our Tampa Bay Lightning irritati...
Listen
YCDT Is Now On Patreon! from 2019-03-27T19:08:55
After a year of shenanigans, we've decided to take this lil pod to the next level.
Listen
#40: Nobody Asked, Jeff. from 2019-03-27T16:46:05
Welcome to Aries season! Our assertive energy is gonna infect you just like the Capitals' norovirus. On today's docket: Kuzy vs. Cherry, food carts, extended-fam dynamics, and so much more.
Listen
#39: Evgeni Malkin's Borscht Palace and Sushi Bar from 2019-03-20T17:27:08
This podcast does not endorse St. Patrick's Day but this podcast DOES endorse the plotting of hockey players on a Venn diagram of "horny," "feral," and "tender." Anyway, remember Vine?!
Listen
#38: White Wine On An ATV from 2019-03-13T20:33:09
We peered through our binoculars and spotted the Stanley Cup in the distance, beginning its annual pilgrimage toward us. Thank god we've got Jay Beagle's flip phone handy in case of emergency. Also...
Listen
#37: Overrate This A$$ from 2019-03-06T20:39:26
Slather on a mud mask in honor of Kevin Fiala's time with the Preds because we've got a LOT to discuss, including worthwhile enemies, questionable performance evaluations, "dreamboat" semantics, an...
Listen
#36: The Dirtbag Triad from 2019-02-27T20:51:40
Your producers went to a Stars/Blackhawks game for some reason and left your hosts alone to record this episode, but no big deal!! It wasn't like anything happened with the trade deadline or anythi...
Listen
#35: Brittle Twizzler from 2019-02-21T16:42:51
We're a day late and an Eva short with this episode, which is now a relic of that brief moment when everything was beautiful and nothing hurt and the Caps hadn't yet put Devante Smith-Pelly on waiv...
Listen
#34: All By Myself Dot MP3 from 2019-02-13T21:48:58
Valentine's Day is silly but this week's discussions of anti-capitalist hero Evgeny Kuznetsov and ultimate dreamboat Hilary Knight are...also kinda silly, if we're honest.
Listen
#33: Is THIS A Handsome Man?? from 2019-02-06T22:38:30
This episode is about two things: Hotness and astrology. No kidding. Grab your hoggles, it's all sun-sign matchmaking and fierce debate about Brent Burns from here on in.
Listen
#32: @NotAPenguin78 from 2019-01-30T19:03:56
When the All Star Game is a big shrug emoji and the Caps keep not winning, the only thing to do is imagine hockeys performing Disney songs with wholehearted enthusiasm. Let's get down to business.
Listen
#31: The Desert of Whoms from 2019-01-23T21:13:58
After a string of silly losses, Eva leads Catie, Kelly, and Rave in an exploration of the depths of their hearts and their charity baskets.
Listen
#30: Sympathy For The Overdog from 2019-01-16T16:49:22
The coven asks and answers some pressing Qs this week: What's up with Sergei Bobrovsky? What's up with the lack of Virgo defensemen in the league? And what is UP with the entire concept of "offside...
Listen
#29: Jumbo Jamie from 2019-01-09T18:57:28
Catie, Eva, and Rave groan about boring disappointments like the All-Star Game team rosters, welcome back "Jamie Benn" to discuss his public shaming, and confess their newfound love for [redacted]....
Listen
#28: Kids And Their Devices from 2018-12-26T15:56:20
Hard to tell what's messier, the most recent Caps/Pens game or the NHL teams' fictional holiday gatherings to which your hosts have unceremoniously invited themselves this week. Also: Paul Kariya, ...
Listen
#27: A Hard Left Back to Chaos Town from 2018-12-19T23:34:14
This episode's got a lot going for it, including a timely pulse check on the non-Capitals teams we've chosen (or been forced) to love and a hefty dose of real earnestness. [Also, a content warning:...
Listen
#26: Andre Burakovsky's Growth Mindset Affirmation of the Week from 2018-12-12T20:58:24
Are Hallmark holiday movies an easy target for #jokes? Sure. Are we too good to dip from that well? Never ever. In addition: the hitting rubric, a Tinder full of Canucks, and something adjacent to ...
Listen
#25: Arena Mood Lighting from 2018-12-05T20:17:21
Catie has prepared a fresh batch of Tom Wilson Is The Greatest Hockey Player Of All Time juice and it's time to take a f***in' sip, babes. Other topics: haunted doll William Nylander, ideal goal so...
Listen
#24: How To Neg A Man from 2018-11-21T21:02:44
Turn on the time machine! Professor Kelly is ready to whisk us back to the '80s for a #defection bedtime story. Also: trades, tests, and Thanksgiving dinner guests. (By the way, listeners: We're th...
Listen
#23: Capital L "Like" Capital T "That" from 2018-11-14T18:22:46
Do you revel in the suffering of your enemies, or are you the type to pretend your enemies don’t even exist? Doesn't matter. This podcast endorses both.
Listen
#22: Severe Magician Face from 2018-11-08T17:33:19
Every part of this episode is inappropriate, up to and including the round of "Hockey or Livestock-y?" that we finally forced Eva and Kelly to play. Desperate times call for extra weird silliness, ...
Listen
#21: Normcore Passing from 2018-10-31T20:05:39
While Rave is away, your remaining Halloween hosts explore the tenderness of axe-throwing and the sturdiness of a certain 6’5” Minnesotan. Plus: Eva recounts her first visit to Grittyville. BOO!!
Listen
#20: Someone's Canuck-in' At Your Door from 2018-10-24T18:55
Check out our spooky YA fantasy world! It’s filled with the sultry sounds of Akon's "Smack That" and loads of scared hockey goalies. Oilers overachiever Connor McDavid is already here and he says i...
Listen
#19: Halloween? Or Niche Torture?? from 2018-10-17T22:07:19
This episode contains a serious discussion of the ethics of violence in hockey. It also contains some erotíque imagines about hockey players wearing patently ridiculous Halloween costumes - you kno...
Listen
#18: D***y Desensitization from 2018-10-10T19:23:17
Hockey's back and so are Rave, Catie, Eva, and Kelly! This week: Irrational pissitude, the most horrible word, the psychology of dick-hitting, and more. Welcome home to our weirdness yurt.
Listen
#17: Listener Questions! from 2018-10-03T19:13:23
The final Summer Special of 2018 - yes, we know what month it is - comes from you, dear listeners. We've hand-picked some of your tastiest queries to answer, and we promise only two of them are abo...
Listen
#16: The Ballad of Nicke & Ovi from 2018-08-24T21:08:55
In the second YCDT Summer Special, your hosts follow through on their threat to talk about [redacted] and [redacted]. It's...[redacted].
Listen
#15: A Goat Named War Games (feat. Jason Rogers) from 2018-07-27T19:28:37
In our first Summer Special, we welcome to the pod Actual NHL Reporter Jason Rogers for talk of career paths, big chains, and - sorry sorry soRRY - animal semen. Sorry!!
Listen
#14: Weekend At Backy's from 2018-06-15T16:33:36
The Drunkington Sloppitals won the Stanley Cup and first of all, you're welcome. Rave, Catie, Kelly, and Eva celebrate the win and the celebration itself in the Season 1 finale of YCDT.
Listen
#13: Hashtag Feminine Features from 2018-06-07T17:54:22
We're on the cusp of [superstitious mumbling], so let's distract ourselves! Topics for discussion: confusing feelings, good hair, "The Bachelorette"-style pick-'ems, a ROBBERY??, and - at long last...
Listen
#12: Soft Filters and Star Wipes from 2018-06-02T15:53:18
This episode is like if we changed all the lyrics of Dua Lipa's "New Rules" to be about the NHL. Plus: Catie's DC welcome, Sidney Crosby's sock puppet accounts, and love songs for Mikes Green and L...
Listen
#11: Fizzing Like A Rocket Pop from 2018-05-25T16:10:03
To commemorate the occasion of the Washington Capitals reaching the Stanley Cup finals for the first time in 20 years, pod producers Laura and Danielle swoop in to ask some clarifying questions.
Listen
#10: Thanks, Zodiac Hockey Dot Com from 2018-05-23T21:10:49
With Catie away, the remaining mystical coven members seek pre-Game 6 guidance and reassurance from - where else? - the tarot deck. Plus: Some compliments for Tampa Bay.
Listen
#09: F Is For "Family of Werewolves" from 2018-05-16T18:00
This week your hockey coven moms balance the enormity of their emotions about the Caps' playoffs performance so far with some normal mom-approved chitchat about, like, books and recipes and stuff?
Listen
#08: Playing For Love (And Spite) from 2018-05-09T17:30:23
Step into the YCDT time machine for a look back at life before the Washington Capitals officially advanced to the 2018 Stanley Cup conference finals.
Listen
#07: Chess on a Hockey Plane from 2018-05-02T22:19:36
Professor Kelly's class is in session! Today's topics: Totalitarian regimes, hints of the supernatural, and Rave's dispatches from inside the bowels of Caps/Pens Game 2.
Listen
#06: Appreciate Our Daughter!! from 2018-04-25T22:01:48
Eva tries to restore balance to a negative world by wringing sincere compliments out of Kelly, Catie, and Rave about the teams they hate. Plus: Complicated viral-video reactions and a mean-eyed dre...
Listen
#05: Enthusiastic Licking Consent from 2018-04-18T20:38:18
The wrong people are jousting, Brad Marchand is out here licking dudes, and we can barely tell the difference between professional sports commentary and descriptions of adult films. It's the 2018 S...
Listen
Bonus: Hockey Chirps Hall of Fame from 2018-04-13T16:17:10
Catie hosts a tour through some of the most patently ridiculous hockey player "insults" in memory.
Listen
#04: Golf. Space. My Dog. from 2018-04-04T22:28:22
Welcome to the dank interior of the re-used struggle bus, where your hosts have gathered (in person!) to examine topics as dumb as the Stanley Cup playoffs and as crucially relevant as socks and eggs.
Listen
Bonus: Hockey Coven As from 2018-03-30T15:17:31
In a purely self-indulgent exercise, the girls discuss which Caps players they spiritually resemble and which positions they'd play - and for which teams - if they were actually players themselves.
Listen
#03: No Ethical Consumption Under Late-Stage NHL from 2018-03-22T00:54:32
As we all know, hockey is made up of a select few cats and extremely a lot of dogs. But which of them are worthy of this season's Hart Trophy? And which are Dreamboats, but like, the dumpster kind?...
Listen
Bonus: A Little ‘Stitious from 2018-03-16T22:55:38
Eva leads a discussion about the superstitions that shape hockey players’ routines, from stick drawings to octopus sacrifices and everything in between. Plus, an update on our pal Diane.
Listen
#02: Schrödinger's Dick from 2018-03-08T00:09:05
The girls are riding high after a shockingly enjoyable Caps win as they talk trade deadline dreams/drama, thirst traps vs. heart traps, and tips for a first-time hockey game attendee. Plus, unlikel...
Listen
Bonus: Pitch Hockey 2 Me from 2018-03-02T17:46:07
Rave has piles of money. Catie, Kelly, and Eva have a fun and/or miserable proposal for what to do with it.
Listen
#01: Upsies For Fifi! from 2018-02-23T23:10:29
Gather 'round for talk of Olympian attitudes, personal shopping, and the difference between "good" and "bad" fights. Plus, our inaugural nominees for Dreamboat of the Week. It's hockey for everyone!!
Listen
Coming Soon! from 2018-02-22T03:00
Four enthusiastically self-righteous idiots, one beautiful mess of a sport.
Listen