Coffee Chats: How to get the most out of them? - a podcast by Uri Perry

The Challenge

It doesn’t matter which industry you belong to, what stage you are in your career, whether you own your own business or are an employee of a company - networking plays a crucial role in your career and life. Someone once said: "your network = net worth". Connections and relationships will open doors, which will then lead to opportunities with some eventually materializing. It is that simple – on paper... 

For many of us, this is a painful area. It requires investing time, writing emails, meeting in person, following up and much more. Maintaining a relationship is even harder some say. Besides the time investment, these coffee chats/phone chats could be awkward at times- you are not too sure how to act, what to ask, what to say and basically how to make it worth your while.

Don’t get discouraged - even for coffee chats veterans with years of experience under their belt, this is extremely difficult. It requires a lot of energy, communications skills and emotional intelligence.

 

Breaking it down

I would like to break-down the five core elements of the coffee chat and offer advice on each one:

 

1. Understand the Purpose of the Coffee Chat

2. Read the Situation; Lead the Conversation

3. Express Genuine Interest

4. Receive Actionable Insights and Tips

5. Thank you and Follow-up

 

 

Understand the Purpose of the Coffee Chat

If you understand why you need a certain coffee chat in the first place, it will help you frame the discussion in the first intro (email, phone in person) and later on during the meeting itself. For example, you are currently working in the brick and mortar retail industry but are interested in e-commerce. It is therefore a good idea to have a coffee chat with someone with a similar background to yours, who has made the jump to e-commerce and can share his insights on the transition and guide you through it.

 

So in this example, first you will need to find the relevant person with this background who can answer your questions. In your initial email to this person, this is how you will frame the purpose of your coffee chat or phone chat. Then the person will know the purpose of this coffee chat and how to focus his answers  and provide you with valuable advice.

 

VERY IMPORTANT SCHEDULING TIP: sometimes you will not receive a response from the person you are trying to meet/talk. Don’t get discouraged, as follow-ups will maximize your chances of meeting him/her. I recommend following up after 4-5 business days from the initial email if you haven’t received a response. Also - always try to have someone else introduce you to the person (when possible). From my experience, in 90% of the times - you will be able to actually meet/talk to the person fairly quickly and will not need to follow-up in order to get a response from that person.

 

Before the coffee chat and during it, remind yourself what is the purpose of this chat. This will help you guide the discussion, ask the right questions and make the best use of their time and yours. This will be the anchor of the conversation and everything will revolve around it. This is why it is so important to always keep the purpose of the chat in mind. Also keep in mind that the purpose of the conversation should not be too narrow. For example, I would not recommend having a coffee chat with someone to say you would like to understand why he switched roles or went to work for a different employer.

 

It is better to ask questions about work experience or accomplishments that span across a significant duration of time or a specific but at the same time very meaningful process the person has completed (e.g. GMAT, MBA application, moving to another country etc.)

 

 

Read the Situation; Lead the Conversation

This is a more complicated and delicate area and more of an acquired skillset. Don’t worry if you really feel you're making an effort here because this is an area that requires extremely high communication awareness. Therefore it is important to know your audience. For example, if you are having a phone chat with a very senior person (VP or CEO), limit your conversation to a maximum of 15 minutes.

 

I would recommend a typical phone chat to last 20 minutes - not more, and a coffee chat not more that 30-35 minutes. You need to be respectful of the other person’s time. I would recommend starting the conversation with some small talk (e.g. “how is your day so far”). Then I would continue by providing the background and purpose of the meeting/chat and then provide the person with a 20-30 second intro of yourself. If the other person talks for a long period of time, try not to interrupt unless it is mandatory.

 

Some people have a tendency to answer in very short sentences and some will talk for 2-3 minutes before they realize it… so it is important to adapt your style to the other person by reading what type he is. Most often you will find the other person will provide lengthy answers (people enjoy talking about themselves for some reason…). This is why it is OK to steer him/her back to the question you asked if you feel they haven't answered your question.

 

 

Express Genuine Interest

You will get the most out of the coffee chat if you express genuine interest in the other person. It will help you to build rapport with him/her, will keep you engaged and will create an overall comfortable atmosphere. But remember - it is not recommended to sound/look too eager either…

 

Another important tip is to LISTEN ACTIVELY and being patient. Ask your questions not for the sake of asking questions but to really understand certain elements about the person in front of you.

 

It is also recommended to take notes (especially if it is over the phone). This will show you are genuinely engaged and show respect for the other person’s advice. Try to meet in person, when possible. I would suggest asking to meet in person for a coffee chat but also offer an option for a phone chat (sometimes it is better than not interacting at all).

 

 

Receive Actionable Insights and Tips

Ask for tools, resources, contacts that will help you reach your goal. In order to maximize the value of the coffee chat/phone chat, I always try to ask a question around useful resources. For example, if I’m meeting someone to learn more about case interviews for consulting - I would ask about useful resources that personally helped the other party. If the coffee chat is about a certain industry the person is working in, I would ask how you can learn more about this topic from journals, blogs or other resources.

 

I would also ask the following question: “what else do you recommend I should be doing to achieve X?” this is a general question but will make the other person think how to provide you with actionable and useful advice in order to reach your goal.

 

Another useful tip is to ask for additional introductions. For example, towards the end of the meeting/conversation ask if the other person thinks there is someone else he/she thinks you should meet or speak with to gain more knowledge on this topic. This is a more sensitive question but in case you feel the circumstances are appropriate (e.g. the other person doesn’t know to answer a lot of the questions you ask) - then go ahead and ask for additional intros.

 

 

Thank you and Follow-up

Last but not least, an integral part of networking is to thank the other person for taking the time to meet/speak with you. Therefore it is recommended to send a thank you note 1-2 days after the meeting/conversation, thank the other person and highlight the main insights you gained from the meeting.

 

It is also good to follow-up and provide updates to the other person a few weeks or even months after you have met. You can update him/her on your progress in meeting your goal, ask for additional direction and basically maintain the relationship you had started building.

 

Now I hope you are in a better shape for your next coffee chat or phone chat!

 

Most importantly, during the coffee chat - SMILE and enjoy it as it will surely resonate with the other person!

 

 

Please feel free to leave me your comments and thoughts below!

 

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