"I feel like I'm never going to recover!" ep.191 - a podcast by Kati Morton
from 2023-12-06T20:56:26
This week on Ask Kati Anything, I will discuss feeling like we will never recover and how to get through it. I will also talk about body checking and how often a therapist should call out a client about it. Then I will explain why we can struggle to have fun and relax in life, and why we can feel stuck in a younger version of ourselves. I will dive into what effects being a child of rape can have on us, and why we can feel angry when therapy is ending.
1. I suffer from anxiety, depression, and CPTSD, and if I'm honest with myself, I've never felt like I'm going to recover - I've always felt that one day the things I struggle with will win, and I'll end things. I've been struggling a lot lately to do anything that isn't immediately required...
2. I'm wondering about the frequency that a therapist should be calling a client out for body checking behavior during session? When are times you ignore it vs bring it up? I'm currently in ED recovery and we have sessions where there's absolutely nothing said, but other days that are rapid fire, one after the other callouts. I'm still very stuck in some of the behaviors and don't realize I'm doing them when I get anxious...
3. I feel like I don’t know how to have fun and just relax. I’m so anxious and scared all of the time and I feel like everyday if not multiple times a day I hear horrible stories about shootings, killings, disease, war, fires, car accidents and so much more and I’m constantly so scared and feel so sad for all the people affected. I feel guilty for having minor issues when such bigger things are going on and I also feel so on edge that at any minute something bad is going to happen...
4. I was wondering if you could talk a little bit about being a child born out of rape. I'm sure there are quite a few of us out there, but no one ever talks about the impact this has on our lives. I think I've known my entire life that I was the product of a rape but it didn't click with me until I was in my late 30s. The more I think about it, the more uneasy I feel. Half of my DNA is from a monster. I feel disgusted. I am adopted, abandoned at birth, so there is no one I can ask about my biological parents. Has there been any research done on children born from rape?
5. I hope you're well. I have a question, why do I still feel like a young girl even though I'm already 51... I don't understand it, it is so confusing. I have CPTSD, does that have anything to do with it?
6. My therapist left her practice and I'll start therapy with a new therapist soon but I don't know if I'll be able to trust her and I feel very lost. Is there anything I can do to be open towards her? Also I ended the last session with being very angry at my therapist. And I don't know what to do with that anger. I feel like she just abandoned me and doesn't care. I can't even think about her without getting angry anymore. Why does that happen and what can I do to process these feelings? Because it almost feels like I hate her now and before I always felt very close to her.
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