Learning To Date With More Confidence w/ Lily Womble - a podcast by Steph Gaudreau
from 2020-11-10T09:00
Whether you are in a relationship or not, dating requires a large amount of confidence and the belief in extraordinary love within yourself. Dating more confidently and brazenly is all about listening to your body and trusting in the relationship you have with yourself.
With a little work, support, and reframing, it is possible to view dating as an act of self-care and a space to feel whole within yourself.
Key Takeaways
If You Want To Approach Your Relationships Brazenly, You Should:
- Reject narratives that tell you you are not enough, too much, or anything that is not in line with your truth
- Accept that you are the answer to your dating life and what is meant for you will not pass you by
- Stop letting the patriarchy influence the thoughts you have about yourself and where you ‘should be’ in life
- Normalize celebrating when you are thriving in any aspect of your life, not just dating
The Connection Between Listening To Your Body and Relationships
After working in various fields, Lily Womble quickly rose to become one of the top matchmakers at her firm. This was until she realized that the dating industry is very similar to the diet industry and works to feed on their client's insecurities. So, Lily broke up with the matchmaking game and started Date Brazen to help badass women find extraordinary love within themselves.
Swap Your Checklist for an Essence Based List
Lily believes that dating apps are like McDonald's. Your mind is programmed to want that sugar fix, and the way we have been conditioned encourages us to think that playing the numbers game will bring you more satisfaction. In reality, this false sense of accomplishment can cause more frustration.
The important thing to remember is that you are the answer to your dating life, not an app, and what is meant for you will not pass you by, regardless if you choose to use an app or not. Instead of basing your checklist off of qualities, you think you want to dig deeper into what that particular hairstyle or height actually means about the core values you are searching for.
Extraordinary Is Possible
As women, we have been conditioned to believe a legacy of narratives that tell us that we are not enough, too much, or incorrect the way we are. It takes incremental work to gain a sense of wholeness again and reject the patriarchy that influences the thoughts we have about ourselves.
By getting to the essence of who you are and being more whole with yourself, you can use that jumping-off point to have fulfilling relationships that are on your terms and will make you feel like the amazing bright star that you are.
What is your brag? We want to know! Tag us on Instagram or share your brag in the comments on the episode page.
In This Episode
- Why your checklist of what you think you want in a life partner may not actually be serving you (10:10)
- Tips for navigating online dating when you don’t feel super confident or are afraid of judgment (15:48)
- How to resolve not feeling like you are enough in order to achieve your relationship goals (22:16)
- Dismantling the relationship between the patriarchy and how a woman values her worth and views herself (31:08)
- The difference between celebrating your wins and bragging about yourself all the time (33:05)
Quotes
“That is how I came to break up with matchmaking and start Date Brazen to help badass women really find extraordinary love within themselves and in their dating lives with reflective work meets tactical action.” (9:58)
“The world is out of our control, there is very little that is in our control. And I think that without guidance, most people who are dating will look for those checklist things like the height, the weight, the college degree; they will look for those things because they think that is all they can control. When, in fact, it is really possible to measure how you feel in someone’s presence.” (14:14)
“What I believe is what is meant for you will not pass you by. So whether or not you choose to date on an app, you will find what is meant for you.” (20:14)
“This is legacy breaking work, and it takes a lot of time, and it takes me a lot of support to get to the place where I can believe I am worthy of extraordinary love and extraordinary relationships and extraordinary money and extraordinary connection.” (26:52)
“I think it is a really beautiful marriage between working on your dating mindset and your dating action plan while also continuing to celebrate who amazing and whole and successful and incredible you are.” (37:21)
Links
The Brazen Breakthrough Waitlist
Follow Lily on Instagram
Join the Listen To Your Body Newsletter
Check out the full show notes here!
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Further episodes of Fuel Your Strength
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Website of Steph Gaudreau