Podcasts by Making Polyamory Work

When I Don't Use Boundaries from 2023-12-12T08:10

Libby talks through when she personally does NOT opt for boundaries, and why boundaries are often the last move she will make in navigating relationship difficulties.

What is a Boundary Violation? with Juliane Taylor Shore from 2023-12-05T08:10

Libby and Jules answer a listener who asks, "If boundaries are between you and you, then what is a boundary violation?" Jules also goes over her 6 steps to setting an external boundary...

Your Brain on Boundaries with Juliane Taylor Shore from 2023-11-28T08:10

Libby is joined by author and therapist Juliane Taylor Shore to talk about internal boundaries and how crucial they are (even though they are often not talked about or overlooked when people tal...

Codependence from 2023-11-21T08:05

The word "codependent" comes up a lot in polyamory spaces, but so often it is misused that it's losing its meaning. Libby talks about her dislike of the term, how she thinks it oft...

Boundaries Aren't Magic from 2023-11-14T08:10

A lot of people are talking about boundaries now. But as Inigo Montoya once said, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." In this episode Libby exp...

Dating as a Couple from 2023-11-07T08:10

Nothing is a hot-button topic quite like a couple looking to date the same person. A lot of people have only one piece of advice, "Don't," often served with heaping portions of shame and ridicule. ...

Polyamory After an Affair from 2023-10-31T07:10

Increasingly, Libby hears from folks who are interested in polyamory to solve a problem: either they or their partner cheated, and they want to repair and stay together, and nonmonogamy seems li...

The Heart Wants What it Wants from 2023-04-25T07:10:43

Libby offers an uncomfortable but necessary reality check: love alone doesn't conquer all.

Uhauling from 2023-04-18T07:10:32

Maybe you know the joke, maybe you don't, but showing up for a second date with a uhaul can be risky. In this episode, Libby goes over why she thinks cohabiting during the new relationship e...

What’s Your Story? from 2023-04-11T07:10:53

We all carry stories with us about who we are, our place in the world, how others will see us, and what's possible for our lives. Some of these stories are stories we like, some are stories ...

Revoke Your Moral License from 2023-03-28T07:10:57

Do you sometimes use doing "the right" or "good' things as an excuse to then turn around and do "bad" or "selfish" things? There's a name for this - it...

Don't Ask, Don't Tell with Jessica Fern (Part 2) from 2023-03-21T07:10:43

In Part 2, Polysecure author, Jessica Fern and Libby talk about a very specific arrangement that relates to privacy/secrecy: the Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) relationship. Together they discuss ...

Privacy, Secrecy, and Transparency with Jessica Fern (Part 1) from 2023-03-14T07:10:37

Polysecure author, Jessica Fern joins Libby to talk about a much-asked for topic, Privacy, Secrecy and Transparency. Together they share their own experiences, what they've learned, and how they...

The Ladder of Accountability from 2023-03-07T08:10:48

Libby shares one of her favorite tools for owning your ish when you mess up with someone you care about.

Southwest Lovefest (use code 'go slow' for 10% off): Listen

What if We Don't Have Sex? With Chaneè Jackson Kendall from 2023-02-28T08:10:03

Chaneè and Libby answer a question from a listener who identifies as asexual who asked about non-sexual polyamorous relationships. Chaneè identifies as almost-megasexual, Libby identifies as g...

Relational Privilege with Akilah Riley-Richardson Part 2 from 2023-02-21T08:10

In part 2 of Libby's conversation with Akilah Riley-Richardson, Akilah shares her PRIDE model for supporting couples who are working to create safety and resilience in their relationships.

Relational Privilege with Akilah Riley-Richardson Part 1 from 2023-02-14T08:10

In this episode, Libby talks with couples therapist and trauma specialist Akilah Riley-Richardson about relational privilege and how essential it is to create safety in order to find intimacy. (...

Values and Belonging, Part 2 from 2023-02-09T08:10:46

In Part 2 of this episode, Libby shares her journey to getting clear on her values, figuring out how to act within her integrity and how that led her to find her way to true belonging.

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Values and Belonging, Part 1 from 2023-02-07T08:15:21

Libby introduces a new season of Making Polyamory Work with a very personal reflection on belonging, fitting in, values and integrity.

Coming Out To Your Kids from 2022-12-06T08:10:22

Libby and Catherine of Expansive Connection answer a listener question about coming out to older kids.

https://www.expansiveconnection.com/

https://www.expansiveconnection.com/enm<...

[Replay] The Holiday Minefield from 2022-11-22T08:10:38

Libby reviews some of the biggest challenges that can show up around the holiday season when you're non-monogamous and how to navigate them without exploding an already stressful season.

There's Nothing to Fear from 2022-11-17T08:10:25

LIbby talks about how important it is to talk about fears with our partners. How we respond when our partner shares a fear with us can make a tremendous difference in how we tend to them and our...

New Information Shock from 2022-11-15T08:10:34

Libby describes the phenomenon known as New Information Shock and how to handle it when you encounter it in your relationships.

The Most Important Step of Repair from 2022-10-18T07:10:17

If you want to make a good repair, there's one step that Libby wishes people prioritized more.

Mia Mingus - The Four Parts of Accountability & How To Give A Genuine Apology: Listen

Breadcrumbing and Signposting from 2022-10-11T07:10:30

One tool that might help you with rocking-the-boat type conversations.

Agreements Are Great from 2022-10-04T07:10:36

Libby talks about why she likes agreements, what purpose they serve in relationships, and some things to watch out for when making them with your partners.

Why Predicting Future feelings ...

Where Is This Going? from 2022-09-27T07:10:34

Libby speaks about the Relationship Escalator, and talks about some ways she has found to step off it.

Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Listen

How Do I Know if I'm Polyamorous? from 2022-09-20T07:10:05

Libby is joined by Multiamory's Dedeker Winston to answer a listener who asks two questions: How do I know if I'm polyamorous? And, how should I go about dating if I'm not sure?

Dedeker W...

Food from 2022-09-15T07:10:54

Libby names the 10th relationship of a modern marriage: Food.

Leave Room in a Crisis from 2022-09-13T07:10:36

Libby talks about the costs of operating your time, energy, and attention at full capacity by default, and why it's worth considering intentionally having more downtime to recharge and also so t...

9 Relationships of a Modern Marriage from 2022-04-19T07:00

Did you know that marriage as conventionally practiced in the 21st century (in a lot of the world at least) is actually like... 9 different relationships. In this episode, Libby explains those 9...

Know Your Power from 2022-04-12T07:00

How empowered are you in your relationships? Have you stopped to notice where you might be disempowered... or too empowered? In this episode, Libby talks about power dynamics and how important i...

On Drop from 2022-04-05T07:00

Do you know what drop is? In this episode, Libby explains drop, what it is, why it's rough, and what you can do to make it a little easier to deal with.

Veto Happens from 2022-03-29T07:00

The relationship veto is a controversial topic in polyamory circles. Libby talks about what vetoes are, how they can happen without being called a veto, and how they aren't always a bad thing. Listen

Yes Intent Does Matter from 2022-03-22T07:00

"Intent doesn't matter." That statement has cropped up in multiple conversations online and in person over the years. In this epsiode, Libby shares why that simply isn't true, at least not when ...

For Your Mom from 2022-03-15T07:00

In this episode, Libby speaks to parents of adult polyamorous children who may be having a hard time with the idea.

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Are you Checking Out or Checking In? from 2022-03-08T08:00

One of the most important things in relationship is to act with intention rather than reactivity, but if we're so busy and distracted all the time, it's really hard to slow down enough to do any...

Doing It in a Group from 2022-03-01T08:00

In this epsiode, Libby gives you her best tips for having awesome sexytimes with groups of 3 or more.

CN: NSFW. Mature content, including explicit mentions of sexual behaviors in this epi...

The Still Face from 2022-02-22T09:00

Libby talks about the effect withdrawal patterns can have on our nervous systems, and how to navigate that if it is showing up in your relationship.

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Asking Needs To Be Okay from 2022-02-15T09:00

"How could she ask for that?" is a phrase I have heard before. It's a phrase I've even said. But I firmly believe, it's okay to ask for whatever you want. The problem lies in whether or not your...

This May Be a Bitter Pill from 2022-02-08T09:00

Sometimes in our relationships we reach a point where something needs to change or it just won't work for us. But is that even possible? Or do you have to break up? Libby goes over two losing st...

When is it Okay to Have a One P*nis Policy? from 2022-01-25T20:42:41

By listener request, Libby talks about the one p*nis policy and why it's not a great idea (and the one time it's okay.) 

CN: language. Libby uses several words for the male genitalia...

Getting Closure from 2021-12-14T18:24:32

In her recent workshop Break Up Better, Libby answers a question from a participant: "How can I get the other person to own their part to help with closure [after a breakup]?"

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The Great Divide with Terry Real from 2021-11-29T06:00

Libby has special guest Terry Real join her on the show to talk about how patriarchy does its work on our relationships, even for those of us who choose to do things differently.

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A Rule is just a Bad Agreement from 2021-11-23T02:47:57

Libby blows up the idea that there is any difference between rules and agreements and offers some alternative ways to communicate and negotiate needs in polyamorous relationships.

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Coming Out from 2021-11-15T05:44:31

Libby shares her best tips for coming out as polyamorous, mostly hard won through her own coming out mishaps.

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Break Up Better Workshop on November 30 at 7...

Who's it for? from 2021-11-08T07:00

In this episode, Libby outlines 3 different scenarios in which it's unclear who is the giver and who is the receiver, and how to use a magical tool called the Wheel of Consent to help answer thi...

The Holiday Minefield from 2021-11-01T13:12:32

Libby reviews some of the biggest challenges that can show up around the holiday season when you're non-monogamous and how to navigate them without exploding an already stressful season.

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My Partner is Having a Mental Health Crisis from 2021-10-25T05:00:35

On this episode, Libby is joined by Mel Cassidy of Radical Relationship Coaching to discuss a question from a listener about how to navigate polyamory when a partner is struggling with their men...

Responding to Shitty Feedback from 2021-10-18T05:00

In this episode, Libby talks about how to respond when someone you love gives you feedback from a hurtful, attacking or otherwise unhelpful place.

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The Most Important Phase of a Relationship from 2021-10-11T05:00

In this episode, Libby discusses the 6 phases of relationships, and the one that she thinks is the most important, and most often overlooked.

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I'm Baaaaaaack from 2021-10-09T00:37:58

After an unexpectedly long hiatus, Making Polyamory Work returns. [To sign up for the Relational Nonmonogamy Circle, go to http://relationalnonmonogamy.com] --- Send in a voice message: https://...

Discovering Your Queerness from 2021-05-28T19:02:31

Libby invites her best friend Mara on the podcast to answer a listener who recently discovered they were queer. Libby and Mara what it was like for them to realize you're queer later in life. Listen

Being Asked to Step Back from 2021-05-06T13:00

This episode welcomes a special guest, Mary Thuell, to answer a listener question about being asked to put her relationship on pause so her partner can work things out in their nested relationsh...

Say Thank You to Your Jealousy from 2021-05-02T19:27:10

Libby shares one way she likes to handle jealousy - say thank you to it?

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OTHER GREAT RESOURCES ON JEALOUSY

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What if My Partner's Other Relationship is Abusive? from 2021-03-29T18:42:40

Libby invites Shannon Perez-Darby to answer a listener question about what to do when you're in a relationship with someone who is in what appears to be an abusive relationship. CN: abuse, domes...

Nobody Wants to Be a Wet Blanket from 2021-03-18T18:27:44

In this episode, Libby introduces an unusually effective tool for combatting overconfidence without ruining the fun when you're in the throes of new relationship energy.

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Will the Kids Be Alright? from 2021-02-08T04:00:28

Finally an episode on polyamorous parenting. Libby shares her take.

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Did You Miss Me? from 2021-01-14T22:12:29

In this episode, Libby talks about the gift of time apart.

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Esther Perel: Sex Needs Space - ...

What's Wonderful from 2020-12-02T03:37:35

In this episode, Libby offers ways to create a culture of appreciation within your relationship, and why that is important, but also how it can sometimes be hard.

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Got a Problem? Don't Solve It from 2020-11-23T00:29:38

In this episode, Libby talks about issues that seem to have no clear good solution. Her suggestion? Understanding the problem is more important than solving it

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Libby Plus One: The Trap of Easy from 2020-11-16T00:39:48

On this episode, Libby is joined by her partner Kyrr to talk about why it's important to acknowledge the truth about change.

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Stress in Relationships from 2020-11-03T17:44:35

Lots of tips in this episode! Libby talks about techniques to manage stress and why it's so important for you and your relationships.

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Hinges, Let's Talk from 2020-10-26T03:00:58

This episode is for you if you're a hinge or the point in a "vee." There's a very common trap that many hinge partners fall into that you must avoid if you don't want to be a sucky hinge. Want t...

Libby Plus One: Mono-Poly and NRE from 2020-10-18T03:10:42

Libby is joined by a plus one in this special bonus episode. In it Libby and her guest provide advice to an anonymous post on Reddit in r/polyamory. This post is both about NRE and also being in...

How to NRE from 2020-09-29T03:01:16

Is the thought of a new relationship exciting -- or terrifying? In this episode, Libby goes into what happens when you're in a new relationship and all wrapped up in its energy, and offers some ...

Intentional vs. Incidental Time from 2020-09-18T19:57:29

Love is infinite, but time is not, and the struggle is real. In this episode, Libby offers a frame for looking at time that may be at the root of some of your challenges around time, and some cr...

It's Business Time from 2020-09-11T00:53:59

But like, serious business.

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Listen Up Episode: https://...

Giving Kickass Feedback (and When Not To) from 2020-07-14T21:04:54

Libby discusses feedback in greater depth: what it is, what it isn't, and how to do it exceptionally well.

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In a Crisis, Find Your Ring from 2020-06-12T15:52:12

Libby explains Ring Theory and how it can help people know what to say and to whom in a moment of crisis. Content note: this episode will talk about the outcry against police violence toward Bla...

Repair and Repair Again from 2020-05-19T17:05:20

In this episode, Libby talks about repair, how essential it is to having secure relationships, and outlines the steps for how to make a good repair.

*From Libby: to my listeners who have ...

Slow Down to Break Up from 2020-05-05T19:19

Libby shares her most important advice for people who are breaking up or on the brink (and even if you're not) -- slow down.

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Have Better Sex With This One Weird Trick from 2020-04-24T21:38:41

Libby gives some sex advice for your long-term relationships. It's good. Just listen.

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Watch the Movie: Listen

When Life is Turned Upside Down from 2020-04-15T00:38:39

In this episode, Libby talks about disruption and offers a 5 step process to move through it more easily.

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MORE READING

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Taking My Own Medicine from 2020-04-06T21:17:57

A quick update on why Libby took down last week's episode on repair, and what she'll be doing instead. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

The Autonomy Problem from 2020-03-24T16:25:20

In this episode, Libby gets real about what COVID-19 means for polyamorous people, but how it's also teaching all of us an essential lesson about our relationships - which is that autonomy is an...

Polyamorous in a Pandemic Part 1: Remember Love from 2020-03-17T02:26:01

Things look pretty different in the world today than they did two weeks ago. Libby has a message for everyone as we face down new and challenging circumstances.

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Look Where You're Going from 2020-03-06T03:47:16

In this episode, Libby talks about keeping your attention and energy toward what's really important.

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When Your Meta Don't Wanna from 2020-03-03T05:33

In this episode Libby talks about how to navigate things when metamours don't want to be friends.

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EVENTS WHERE LIBBY IS PRESENTING

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No Advice, Please from 2020-02-27T04:58:36

Learning to hold space for people you love is an essential relationship skill. In this episode, Libby breaks down what holding space is, why it's important, and how to practice it.

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The Art of Time Outs from 2020-02-20T20:22:43

Taking a time out is so important when things get heated or uncomfortable. However, there are more useful and less useful ways to take a time out. In this episode, Libby lays out how to take a t...

Taming your Whoosh from 2020-02-18T20:27:44

The most essential skill to having healthier relationships.

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EVENTS WHERE LIBBY IS PRESENTING

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Fingers Crossed from 2020-02-12T17:14

In this episode, Libby offers an idea on making upcoming difficult situations smoother, easier and more connecting.

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EVENTS WHERE LIBBY IS PRESEN...

Couple Privilege and Power from 2020-02-06T22:17:53

Libby answers a listener question about navigating sharing a home and sharing that home with other partners.

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Attachment Styles and You from 2020-01-28T12:25:31

Libby explains the theory of attachment styles and what they might mean for your relationships.  (All of this stuff is Googleable, y'all, if you want to know more. ) -------------------------------...

How Could You Think That of Me? from 2020-01-21T05:00

Libby talks about what to do when we don't feel seen by the people we love.

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Disclosure Afterthoughts from 2020-01-16T20:44:16

Libby answers her first listener question on the show, where a listener asks, does it always make sense to disclose potential dealbreakers before the first date?  ------------------------------- SH...

Full Disclosure from 2020-01-14T06:00

Libby talks about when you should tell potential partners that you're polyamorous or nonmonogamous.

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EVENTS WHERE LIBBY IS ...

When Should I Tell People? from 2020-01-14T05:00

Libby talks about when you should tell potential partners that you're polyamorous or nonmonogamous.

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EVENTS WHERE LIBBY IS PRESENTI...

Ghosting from 2020-01-07T05:00

In this episode, Libby talks about ghosting, what it is, why it sucks, when it's justified, and how to cope. Libby also offers a kinder alternative to ghosting.

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The Practice of Gentleness from 2019-12-31T22:50:50

Using a real, raw story from her own life, Libby talks about the day-to-day, minute-to-minute practice of gentleness in relationships.

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The Two Magic Relationship Ratios from 2019-12-26T19:00:17

Libby talks about the two magic relationship ratios uncovered by scientific research conducted by the Gottman Institute and some implications for polyamorous relationships.

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More Compassion, More Love from 2019-12-24T05:00

Holiday bullsh*t getting you down? Libby makes the case for how a little self-compassion can go a long way. ------------------------------- Show Links Mapping Your Love Workshop in DC: https://www....

Beyond the 5 Love Languages from 2019-12-19T06:10:11

In this episode, Libby talks about love languages and how understanding your love language and the love languages of those that you love can transform your relationships for the better and help ...

Compersion Isn't Mandatory from 2019-12-17T05:00

In this episode, Libby talks about compersion, what it is, where it comes from, and makes the case that we don't have to feel it to be good polyamorous people, and what to do when we don't.

8 Sentences for Better Understanding from 2019-12-12T07:00

Sometimes you just need to complain and get something off your chest. Here's a tip on how to do that in a way that might be easier for others to hear and help make things better. ------------------...

Stand Up and Rock the Boat from 2019-12-10T07:00:56

Let's talk about why it's so important to be willing to put things on the line in your relationships, to stand up for what you want, and confront issues - before they get too big to deal with. Listen

Listen Up from 2019-12-05T17:58:21

Learning how to listen better is so important to being a great partner, friend, parent, child, coworker, etc. In this episode, Libby offers some advanced tips on how to be an awesome listener.
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The Other Half of Good Communication from 2019-12-05T17:58:21

Learning how to listen better is so important to being a great partner, friend, parent, child, coworker, etc. In this episode, Libby offers some advanced tips on how to be an awesome listener. Show...

Trying Something New from 2019-12-03T07:00

When you're trying to make a change, do something different, learn a new skill, what can help set you up for success? My answer? The right mindset can help a lot.

Malcolm Gladwell's book ...

How to Not Take Responsibility for Other People's Emotions from 2019-11-28T09:00:55

In this episode, Libby shares concrete steps for creating a healthy emotional boundary between you and your partner, so that you don't react to, take on, or take responsibility for your partner's d...

The Other Skipped Step in Opening Up from 2019-11-26T09:00

Why is it that some monogamous couples who open upend up blowing up their existing relationship while others don’t? Libby offers one idea that you might not have heard. 

Show links:<...

Sh*tty First Drafts from 2019-11-22T17:50:22

Do you know about sh*tty first drafts? It can be a helpful concept in your relationships.

Welcome to Making Polyamory Work from 2019-11-13T19:22:47

I’m Libby Sinback, a relationship coach and educator. I’m excited to tell you about my new podcast, starting on November 26th. It’s called Making Polyamory Work. Here we’ll get real about how polya...