Addicts Can Change If They Are Willing To Do The Work - a podcast by Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst
from 2022-02-18T20:49:15
In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami share from their own experience about recovery not being an absolute but a constant effort of working through your struggle. Growing honesty and owning up to your recovery every day is very important in order for change to happen and make a positive difference.
TAKEAWAYS:
[0:25] How do you create a healthy sex plan?
[2:40] Dr. Rob explains what sex and intimacy looks like within recovery.
[5:00] Are there tips on how to regain trust and emotional sobriety so my wife can see me differently?
[6:05] Acting out is a symptom. Tami talks more on the importance of addressing the underlying issue. Polygraphs are not a reliable method of truth detection.
[7:25] Dr. Rob explains how growing honesty and giving someone a chance to fail is important.
[9:20] It’s on the betrayed spouse to set comfortable boundaries for the addict in recovery to follow.
[10:45] Addicts can change. Tami and Dr. Rob are living proof of that. The difference is taking action.
[13:10] Dr. Robs asks to reflect on how you treat others and the rules you live by which requires a constant reevaluation of your decisions.
[17:35] Recovery is not absolute. It’s a struggle for the rest of our lives and the key to regaining trust is honesty not perfection.
[18:25] My SA husband confessed that he had been aroused when he saw our nine-year-old granddaughter in her bathing suit. Does this mean he is a pedophile?
[20:15] Dr. Rob advises to pay attention to the confession but not jump into conclusions. There are definitely issues and further evaluations can help to understand this better.
[21:05] Dr. Rob shares the difference between being an addict and a sex offender.
[22:20] Dr. Rob talks about Ouija Mystifying Mints that his spouse bought for him from a Halloween store and what it means.
[24:00] My SA spouse moved out of the house on Friday. I still hope for a reconciliation, but I needed boundaries from his continued anger, blame shifting, and lying to me. He relapsed last week, and I can see that he’s trying to cover his tracks. Do I tell his CSAT?
[24:30] Your sanity is worth more than the sadness that you feel when you are not together.
[28:05] Do you have a suggestion on how to navigate dual addiction? I am a sex and meth addict.
[29:00] Dr. Rob explains what treatment programs exist for people with dual addicitons.
RESOURCES:
Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Book by Robert Weiss
Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction by Robert Weiss
Cruise Control Book by Robert Weiss
Further episodes of Overcoming Betrayal
Further podcasts by Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst
Website of Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst