He Blames Me for All of His Affairs. What?! - a podcast by Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst
from 2023-08-31T04:00
Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed spouse whose sex addict husband isn’t doing the work. He says that he won’t act out anymore because she’s “fixed” after all the therapy she’s doing. What kind of logic is this? Dr. Rob calls out this deflection behavior and wants every betrayed spouse to remember three important and critical things about themselves.
TAKEAWAYS:
[:35] My husband says he’ll kill himself before he’ll act out again. Not sure what to make out of this? Should I be concerned?
[6:05] My SA is so mean that when he does something nice, I think it’s malicious. How do I view him in a better light?
[9:35] Is masturbation considered a betrayal?
[13:35] Addicts are very good at compartmentalizing. We have an intimacy disorder.
[16:40] My husband is no longer in a program. He believes he won’t be acting out anymore because I’m all “fixed.” Can I trust this?
[21:05] Spouses! Dr. Rob wants you to write these three things down on pen and paper.
[23:20] You can contribute to the problems in your marriage, but you cannot contribute to someone else making a decision toward what they want to do with their life.
[25:15] Addicts have a million ways of telling you it’s your fault.
RESOURCES:
Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss
Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss
Further episodes of Overcoming Betrayal
Further podcasts by Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst
Website of Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst