He Got Caught, Now He Feels Remorse. What’s the Deal? - a podcast by Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst
from 2021-07-16T21:12:45
Rob and Tami dive into how an addict’s brain works and why it can be frustrating as a betrayed spouse to see your addict lie and cheat for years, but only try to change after they get caught. Why does this happen? Why can’t they just do the right thing? Rob sheds some light on this and also answers some of your burning questions about addiction, intimacy, and finding a good sponsor.
TAKEAWAYS:
[0:30] Do addicts trust themselves?
[2:05] During the first week of treatment, addicts go through a lot of confronting and learn to stop being in denial.
[3:15] My sex addict acts like ‘such a good person’ around our children. Everyone in the family knows why we’re separated. How should I react?
[6:10] How can my addict cheat and lie and feel no guilt...until he’s caught?
[9:10] Addicts tend to only have tunnel vision. It’s a reaction to the adrenaline they’re experiencing.
[11:30] How long should we wait after disclosure to be intimate again?
[13:10] Betrayed spouses can take up to a year, maybe more, before they feel safe enough to have sex again with their partner.
[15:20] What should I look for in a sponsor?
[19:15] Dr. Rob shares some of the free resources he has that are available to addicts.
[23:15] Addiction hurts everyone. You can do this. You can change.
[25:00] Every addict has a justification on why they did what they did. They blame everyone except themselves.
RESOURCES:
Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Book by Robert Weiss
Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction by Robert Weiss
Cruise Control Book by Robert Weiss
Further episodes of Overcoming Betrayal
Further podcasts by Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst
Website of Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst