Partners Are Ambivalent for a Year or More After a Betrayal - a podcast by Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst
from 2020-08-06T14:07:15
Rob and Tami answer some of your burning questions! They talk about ways an addict can reduce or help their partner through some of their emotional triggers after a betrayal, how someone can become clean from meth and sex, and so much more. Remember, addicts often want to block out all the bad stuff and focus on the good, and treatment is about helping people surrender to how vulnerable they really are.
TAKEAWAYS:
[0:35] How long should couples wait to do couple’s counseling after a discovery?
[6:00] You have to work with an addiction therapist that understands sex.
[7:25] The goal is to help people suffering through addiction realize they're not a bad person, but they are broken. Let’s look at why.
[9:40] Addicts often want to block out all the bad stuff and focus on the good.
[10:55] Treatment is really about helping people surrender to how vulnerable they really are.
[12:40] How do you help reduce triggers for your partner from the traumas they experienced due to your addiction?
[14:05] No matter how stable or comfortable we feel with our spouses, there will be things that they do that break trust.
[15:10] Partners are ambivalent for a year or more after a betrayal.
[19:45] If an alcoholic chooses to drink, they will drink. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
[20:25] Drugs and sex, how can an addict get clean for 90 days?
[23:40] “I am in recovery for our marriage, but it might be over, what should I do?”
[25:00] How can someone get started treating their addiction?
[25:40] People go to treatment because they’re in a crisis.
[27:25] Remember, recovery is not a destination, it’s a process.
[28:40] Healthy people rely on others to help them through hard times. Addicts act out. Therapy helps addicts develop healthy pathways to cope.
RESOURCES:
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Book by Robert Weiss
Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction by Robert Weiss
Cruise Control Book by Robert Weiss
Further episodes of Overcoming Betrayal
Further podcasts by Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst
Website of Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst