Why Do I Still Care After All the Hurt and Disrespect? - a podcast by Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst
from 2021-07-01T14:21
Rob and Tami received an alarming question from a betrayed spouse who is also the sex addict’s accountability partner. Ouch! Save yourself the emotional and physical pain and get out of that position. An accountability partner is supposed to keep your addict accountable. You have a different role to play as a betrayed and hurt spouse. Rob and Tami also talk about why it can be so hard to stop loving someone who has repeatedly hurt you throughout your marriage. Why do you keep going back? What’s wrong with you? There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just called love.
TAKEAWAYS:
[0:35] What does a typical treatment plan look like?
[2:15] Your partner should not be your sponsor/accountability buddy. No!
[3:55] If you want to repair your relationship, it’s about having a bit of humility and showing your partner that you are doing the work.
[6:45] Should I be worried that my addict and his affair partner are both drug addicts?
[9:00] Rob works with a lot of men who have had repeated affair partners. They have a decision split and they don’t know how to decide between their marriage or the exciting new person.
[11:40] I am struggling with reconciling with my partner. Married for over 35 years. I love him, but I don’t trust him. What should I do?
[14:40] Before you get back with your addict, you need to see him rebuild himself into a respectable man with integrity. Don’t go back until he does.
[16:00] Should you tell your kids about your sex addiction?
[18:15] You might want information from your husband about who he’s been with, but it’s going to hurt you more than help you.
[21:15] I trusted him so much. How could he have done this? He won’t open up and talk to me.
[25:55] What is your addict doing? Is he showing up to therapy and support groups? He needs to show you he’s working on himself.
[27:00] I want social media transparency with my sex addict, but he’s got mother enmeshment/incest trauma. What should I do?
[31:10] How do we deal with and fix intergenerational addiction?
RESOURCES:
Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Book by Robert Weiss
Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction by Robert Weiss
Cruise Control Book by Robert Weiss
Further episodes of Overcoming Betrayal
Further podcasts by Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst
Website of Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst