Are We Too Serious? - a podcast by Carla Royal, Juliet Fay

Here’s what we explored:

• ultra seriousness feels heavy, sometimes anxious, guilty, and ashamed
• in contrast, when someone gives a message about a serious issue from a light place, it feels hopeful
• is it that one is focused on the problem while the other is focused on the solution?
• it's fascinating to look at our cultural stories about seriousness
• seriousness equates to gravitas, high mindedness, authority, seen as an ideal quality in a leader
• does being serious equate to being closed-minded?
• light-heartedness invites dialogue, openness
• perhaps seriousness is about the status quo and light-heartedness is about possibility
• the image of blinders on a horse which keep the horse safe, safe from distractions
• seriousness can be part of how we perceive we can keep ourselves safe
• does seriousness keep us missing out on the messiness and joy and possibility and hope of life?
• seriousness can give us tunnel vision which may feel comfortable but also cuts us off from everything joyful and beautiful
• as a snake sheds its skin, when we recognise that seriousness doesn't necessarily serve us, we may have outgrown it and we sense we are ready to let it go
• Carla remembers breaking out of the fundamental Christian church and how messy it was yet also what a profound transformation occurred
• sometimes we mistakenly equate profound transformation with pain and messiness
• there can be a fear of what might happen if we drop that protective armour of seriousness
• do we drop the seriousness or does the seriousness drop us?
• whether we have a story of transformation require suffering or overstretching ourselves causing burn out
• it's beautiful when we start to catch what's going on: that we are living in the experience of our beliefs
• and when we truly see the stories for what they are: made of thought, they begin to dissolve
• what happens when we lean all the way into our stories e.g. feeling protective about our capacity
• Carla recounts a story when a dear client came to her, ever so serious, about a problem: Carla laughed.... then the client started laughing.
• when seriousness dissolves we experience lightness and often answers follow
• Juliet shares an experiment: see if you can be serious for 8 hours straight without cracking a smile
• unreliable narrator - when we look back and say we were down all day long yet in reality there were probably moments when lightness came in eg for Carla when her dog comes in and she scratches behind his ear
• we have a negativity bias where we don't register the joyful moments
• start to notice the peaceful, joyful tiny moments, tune in to them a bit more, get eyes for them and notice how you get more of them
• Juliet invites us to notice the power of insight
• insight takes the seriousness out of changes that come in, in how we experience ourselves and the world - when you have that little bit of space - and realise it's not all on us
• Juliet wonders, what if, nourishing that peace of mind, not to avoid things or bypass, is the only thing that matters?
• because when I do, I am better resourced to be part of the solution, part of building a better world
• Juliet talks about seriousness around food poverty and seeing what the alternatives to seriousness might be
• Carla talks about how seriousness around drinking or eating can get in the way of hearing wisdom
• what if we stopped taking seriousness so seriously?
• we have so much more in common than not: we want the same things, largely we care about the same issues
• what if we either drop our seriousness or go so deep into it that we come out the other side
• along with urgency, seriousness is a red flag waking you up to slow down, step back and give yourself some space
• when we put ourselves in extreme opposition to ourselves, extreme wrong making
• there's an alchemy that happens when you wrap love around whatever's going on

Quotes and References

International footballer Marcus Rashford and the Food Poverty Task Force, UK. 

"All shall be well, all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well", Julian of Norwich was an English anchorite of the Middle Ages. She wrote the best known surviving book in the English language written by a mystic, Revelations of Divine Love. The book is the first written in English by a woman.

Sending love to all our listeners. If you enjoyed this episode, please do leave a review and share on your networks.
 

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Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

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Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. 

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