Getting Vulnerable: Dazed and Confused - a podcast by Carla Royal, Juliet Fay

Here’s what we explored:

• when we feel embarrassed we can get dazed and confused because we feel out of control
• when we feel very exposed our primitive brain can get triggered telling us we're going to get kicked out of our tribe
• even if others think we are vulnerable and share lots of deep things, in fact we may still be guarded and keeping tight control
• we can be vulnerable on our own terms
• the feeling of being ambushed can be intense and disorientating
• the idea that someone has found a chink in the armour
• the desire to control can be invisible to us
• seeing the flight reaction in action can be startling
• seeing how defended we are can be a shock
• being very defended, excessively independent can be a trauma response
• in being so defended, we miss out on so much of the good, the true and the beautiful in life
• are we curating our life for others (consciously or unconsciously)?
• we may curate ourselves as wise, rich and loving when there is also a messy side which we try to hide
• sometimes we dress up judgement as curiosity and if we get caught out it can throw us into a spin because the danger signal gets triggered
• we are all just human; we make mistakes, fall into judgement
• we can end up hiding parts of ourselves
• we can end up trying to stage-manage our lives
• avoiding difficult situations can feel like a practical response
• we can end up feeling some parts of ourselves are not allowed
• noticing how low feelings can just come in even when we're having a good day
• but they can also go away again
• when we are dazed and confused, it's a great time to sit on the bank of ourselves and be compassionate
• sometimes when our primitive brain is triggered, we can bring on our executive function and over-ride it. Other times we can't.
• when we don't have to bring a bunch of meaning and judgement to it
• if we can leave it be, it tends to dissipate quicker
• we can question 'what just happened?', 'why am I feeling like this?'
• for Juliet when she gets reactive with 'difficult' people, the mind can go to all the things the other person has or hasn't done
• when we see that the reactivity is often not about the situation in front of us (unless there is real and present danger)
• the mind can get scrambled when it can't come up with a story
• but this can be an opening
• getting curious about vulnerability.
• our identities and security don't come from our possessions, success or our looks
• when that illusion gets popped it can be devastating
• when we've lost everything (or when we haven't) we can live in fear of losing things
• yet losing things and bouncing back is resilience
• there's a lot of freedom when we see through the illusion
• sometimes when we bump up against our illusions it can be just a lovely letting go
• other times it can be disorientating, like when a big chunk of the iceberg falls off
• there are times we may need to be defended, like Carla's dog Pedro, after the surgery
• it's appropriate to be compassionate with ourselves when we get triggered
• disconnection from one another, from the earth and ultimately there is disconnection from our own spirit/souls
• we miss out on the richness and variety of life possible if many people are going around defended against the harshness of the world
• time to learn each others' songs

CONNECT WITH CARLA

Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

Website - CarlaRoyal.com

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CONNECT WITH JULIET

Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. 

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Website - Solcare

Instagram- Juliet Faye

Facebook - Solcare

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