Overcoming Perfectionism, Part 1 - a podcast by Carla Royal, Juliet Fay

As we ranged around the topic of overcoming perfectionism here's what we discovered:-

• people are hungry for connection; it's far more important than perfection
• perfection is impossible - it's simply the way we've made up that things should be, how could we know how things will actually turn out until we take action?
• when we wait for things to be perfect there's a way in which we don't trust ourselves or others
• we can be afraid of making mistakes especially if we think WE ARE the mistake
• mistakes are not saying anything about us e.g. I am a mistake, I am a failure. If we believe this the stakes get really high
• mistakes and failure are the path to mastery - they are essential to learning - they are opportunities not problems
• being more lighthearted about mistakes makes it easier to see them as part of the learning
• heart and passion trumps perfection because perfection with connection and passion doesn't land well, people can feel the difference
• Carla shares her experience of singing 'perfectly', meaning technically well but she wasn't connected up and so it didn't land for people
• being real and vulnerable is a great antidote to perfectionism
• connection is always present and available but gets obscured by our thinking; the less thinking we have the more that connection shines
• less thinking on our mind tends to make things easier: we tend to be clearer, less self-conscious, more in the flow
• being very fixed on outcome can close us down to the richness of the journey
• noticing how our fixed thinking can limit us is great to see and can open us to fresh thinking showing up
• Carla's story of her chicken soup shows how we as human beings are built for insight - we get fresh thinking all the time
• the more we can leave our stale thinking alone, relax our mind, the easier it is for us to notice fresh thought
• the more we feed stressful thoughts by analysing them, judging them or arguing with them, eg thoughts about being perfectionist, the longer they hang around
• paying less attention to bothersome thoughts is easier when we realise our thoughts come and go and are not telling us anything useful about who we really are
• paying less attention is easier when we look towards what is powering the whole show, where all these fresh thoughts come from, what animates us
• perfect - from the Latin - as made. We are perfect because we have come into being. Whatever comes into form is already perfect because it has come into form.

Quotes/sources

How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win - Scott Adams

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

A Little Peace of Mind by Nicola Bird

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Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

Website - CarlaRoyal.com

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Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life.

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