012 My Journey From Hating Self Care To Today by Clare Foale - a podcast by Clare Foale

In this episode it's me, Clare Foale, going solo.

I have loved sharing these nourishing conversations and the beautiful wisdom on self-care with my guests.

But today I wanted to take a step back and share my story with you. To let you know why self-care matters so much to me today. It wasn't always this way. I hated the concept of 'self-care'.

"If I had heard someone speaking about self-care, like I speak about self-care, I would have probably thrown something at me"


What I talked about:
- 10 years ago, my husband Simon and I had moved back to Sydney from London.
- We were hoping to have children, but it wasn't happening
- I'd always found that if I made the effort. If I worked hard, I could get what I wanted. This didn't apply to trying to fall pregnant
- I was learning the lessons of trust and patience
- I fell pregnant with Nina.
- My self-care journey began when Nina was born, 9 years ago
- I had wanted to be a mother as long as I could remember
- Motherhood did not come as easily as I had expected. It was hard. Which was nothing to do with Nina. It was me.
- I have been able to make an effort. To make things happen and achieve. All the things that had defined me were stripped away when I became a mum. I lost my identity.
- It felt really hard and lonely. I was suffering with Post Natal Depression
- I was encouraged to 'go do something for myself' by caring family members, but this didn't help. I didn't even know what I liked to do
- Going shopping for clothes was depressing. My body and identity had changed. Shopping exacerbated my difficulty knowing who I was now and what I needed
- I still didn't like the idea of 'self-care'
- I was asking 'What should I like to do?' rather than "What would I like to do?
- A kinesiologist helped me get in touch with my heart and get out of my head
- I worked with Rebecca Campbell, who told me that I was having a spiritual awakening
- Rebecca introduced me to the idea of courage, which means to live from the heart.
- The death of loved ones lead me to stop playing by imaginary rules and leading from my heart
- Leonie Dawson's workbooks taught me the power of questions
- Answers poured out of me and it helped me to see there was a lot of wisdom inside me when I tapped into my heart
- A key question I ask in the morning is, 'What do I need?'
- Self-care is a muscle. It can be strengthened.
- It's a devotion to yourself. Choosing yourself.
- What Self-care is not: It's not stressful. Not guilt inducing. Not a 'to do' list. It's not selfish. It doesn't have to be expensive or time consuming.
- What self-care is: Tuning in to what you need and consciously receiving it gratefully. It is simple and powerful. It is nourishing. It is self-connection. It is connection with the soul

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