Who Cares? Not Hijackals! They're Empathy Deficient. - a podcast by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
from 2019-10-21T05:38:36
Are you with someone who is empathy deficient? Someone who shows almost no interest in your thoughts, feelings, needs, or wants?
That could be a parent, partner, ex, sibling, or co-worker.
It's so hard to comprehend when someone doesn't seem to have the interest or the bandwidth to take you into account, right?
Empathy deficiency!
I've done a lot of reading on the topic of empathy, the lack of empathy, and its relationship to narcissistic, psychopathic, sociopathic, and borderline behavior development, as you can imagine. I'm always on a quest to help you understand how these people, relationships, and toxicity happens, and I have to fully understand first.
#Hijackals are empathy deficient! I like the clear definition of empathy that is offered by Simon Baron-Cohen of the University of Cambridge in his book, The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty:
"Empathy is our ability to identify what someone else is thinking or feeling, and to respond to their thoughts and feelings with an appropriate emotion."
It sounds so natural and straightforward, doesn't it? But, for those raised in difficult situations, abusive situations, or toxic homes, there is likelihood that Baren-Cohen says that have empathy allows us to mostly accurately understand and identify where other people "are at."
When a person has experienced incest, child abuse, neglect, violence, or been brought up in a home with alcohol or substance abuse, they were likely raised by people who had low regard for children, and high regard for themselves. These adults in charge of that home were often dismissive, degrading, demanding, or destructive to children. Big damage can be done!
When you find yourself in a relationship with a #Hijackal, you will work much harder at the relationship than the Hijackal. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? Know this: the Hijackals lack of empathy, or unwillingness to relate to or care about your thoughts, feelings, perceptions, needs, wants, or much of anything you bring up, has nothing to do with anything you did. Yes, it's currently your problem, but you didn't create it.
AND, you can stand on your head and spit wooden nickels for a year, and it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY TO GET ANY BETTER for more than an occasional hot minute when the Hijackal wants something or thinks /she is losing you. Know that right down to your bones.
Hijackals are empathy deficient, and you cannot fix that, help with that, or change that! Listen to this episode to understand this "empathy-free" approach to life and relationship more fully.
Good news. You can get out of the Hijackal Trap. Read my downloadable ebook, Escaping the Hijackal Trap. You can recover from any symptoms of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. It will take awhile, but you'll recover to live and love and trust again. If you're ready to do that now, let's talk: BeAClient.com
Listen in, and subscribe.
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HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
Answers to...
- What is empathy?
- How is empathy developed?
- How do people become empathy deficient?
- Is it likely that an empathy deficient person will change?
- Is it my fault #Hijackals behave so thoughtlessly, and often cruelly?
You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.
Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.
Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my
FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!
If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.
Make positive changes NOW.
Big hugs,
Rhoberta
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,
The Relationship Help Doctor
TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com
P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.
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