How to be more understanding&supportive (and get more of what you need) - a podcast by Dr. Jessica OReilly

Do you know how to offer support when a loved one is stressed out? Do you feel supported when you're distressed?

This week, we share an exercise to help you talk about; your specific needs to deepen your understanding and get more of what you want (and less of what you don't want) in your relationships.

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Rough Transcript:This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

How to be more understanding&supportive (and get more of what you need)

Participant #1:You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We are here with my always lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. So today we are talking about understanding your partner, how to really understand your partner's feelings and needs and how to support them when they're maybe not feeling as good as they'd like to be feeling. I think today might be case in point for me. One of those days I want to understand. Well, let me start there. Do you feel you understand me? Well, yes, I think that I understand you. Well, you're smiling. It makes me wonder. Maybe I don't, but I think I do. How do you know either how I'm feeling or what I need? Through your words, you're very clear and literal communicator. No, you really are. And I think people interpret that as being very what's the word? Atype dominant. But I think that you're a very literal communicator. So that's one way. And the second way is your body language and another way yeah, well, I was going to say the noises that you make. Do you make a lot of noises? You make a lot of noises. Yeah, and I usually can infer from the noises what it is. Actually, if you ever see Jess and you see her working on a computer, you know who she's talking to, you know, if it's a funny email, she'll be sitting on her computer and drafting an email. And it's like watching someone practicing facial expressions. It's like the big smile. I'm like, I'm actually waiting for you to bust out in a laughter, and then you'd be typing another email, and then all of a sudden, you actually frown. Like you full on frown. And I looked at you one time, I'm like, Are you okay? Are you reading something? And you're like, I'm reading this email, I'm so upset right now. And I'm just like, well, I could tell because your face was crunched up. And that face that you make when you're disappointed when I'm typing my emails, and I guess when I read my emails, I don't even realize it, but there's like a whole dramatic play going on that plays out on my face.

People wear their emotions on their sleeve. Mine is totally on my forehead, my nose, my mouth, my eyes. Those are three ways that I feel like I understand you. Your literal words, your body language, and then your sounds and your facial expressions. It's interesting that you say that I'm literal, and I noticed that with you. I'm very clear about how I'm feeling, what I want. But with other people in my life, I'm not. I really struggle to, I think, honestly show anything but, like, excitement and happiness and always be up. And I think it's this role that I've gotten into.

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