Empowering new moms series: Losing and regaining your independence as a new mom - a podcast by Katharine Chan

You will get your independence back

I remember the moment I felt like I “lost my independence.”

I was driving back home from a mom group when I saw that Garden Works was having a sale. I was about to turn in when my daughter started wailing.

I looked at the clock and I said to myself,

“Right, it’s ten o’clock. It’s time to go home for a feed, diaper change and then a nap.

Will I come back and check out the sale?

Nope. Nope. And nope.

Because after her nap, it starts all over again.

When can I just pick up and go without considering her needs?

Will I ever be able to do that?”

And that scared the sh*t out of me because I thought my life was over.

But it wasn’t and I’ve been able to do pit stops since.

The feed, change, and nap cycle goes away!

And even during the “rigorous” schedule, you CAN do what you want; it just depends on how much you want to.

You CAN feed in the car, in the mother’s nursing room at the mall, on the bus.

You CAN change diapers in the park, at the bank etc.

You CAN let them nap in the stroller, in your arms while you try to eat your brunch, on the floor at your friend’s house etc.

Once they’re out of the cycle, you would have gotten so used to that routine that any sense of freedom feels like a blessing. It’s all relative.

“They can grab a cheerio and eat it.”

“They can walk up to the toilet, take off their pants and pee.”

“They can climb the stairs, change into their pyjamas and go to bed.”

The experience of losing your independence is sudden at first but when you start gaining it back, you forget you lost it in the first place.

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