The Resurrection - a podcast by The Fifty Ton Podcast

Forgive me Father for I have podcasted.  Save me from the fiery pits of Miami and the very sexy sinners who tempt me with Flat Tummy Tea on Instagram.  Pleaseth forgiveth Edmund for casting the shaft of premarital relations for he knowsith not what he doesth.  
I mean who couldn't stand to pre-repent once in a while for all the sins you will be committing in the next week and all of the horrible atrocities they committed the previous?  I know I sure could.  I am a really bad person, thank god the Catholic Church is here to save me.  
Do you think Jesus really got crucified and then walked out of a cave with a Bud Lite 3 days later like where's the party at?  Who knows, anything is possible.  He probably had some really good filters.
Happy Easter you heathens.  

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