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Want to learn how to deepen or create better connection in your life? It

Further podcasts by Cindy Bigbie, Heather Claypoole

Podcast on the topic Beziehungen

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Bonus: Election Night 2020 - No Matter Who Wins We All Lose from 2023-12-14T06:18:08.033700

I'd say about 50% of our population is going to be really, really upset. There's something about that that does not sit right for me at all, I want the disconnection to go away, I'm mourning con...

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007-Making Connection a Real Thing: Part 1 from 2023-12-14T06:18:08.028366

The definition of connection that I like to use is that connection is the flow and ease that occurs within you and between people when they experience being seen, heard and valued without judgme...

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011-Requests vs. Demands from 2023-12-14T06:18:08.013353

How do you know something is a request?  Perhaps, we have been taught a bit wrong about  this because it's not necessarily how you say something and/or if it's preceded with "please."  There is ...

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012-Needs vs. Strategies from 2023-12-14T06:18:08.006604

In this episode, Dr. B. and Heather  go over the difference between needs and strategies.  They discuss why it's important, in conflict, to first identify the needs in play and then move to solu...

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016-Connecting Requests- The Thing We Don't Do! from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.992346

Key Points Discussed:

  • I wanna speak about connecting requests because they're revolutionary. I really do believe they are revolutionary, and partly why they are revol...

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020-Pissing Off Our Listeners! from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.978078

  • How do we tackle racism? That is a big question. That's a very big question, and my answer might not be something that people want to hear, but the first thing that comes to my mind is, can...

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024-NVC Happy Hour! from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.963269

  • "Would you say one of our greatest freedoms is in our ability to choose how we react to things? ."  (00:43.2)
  • "How did you get involved and what kind of an impact or what changes ha...

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025-You've Got Questions? We've Got Answers! from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.958410

Here are some of the questions answered on this episode.

  1. What do you do when you have to have a difficult conversation with your child?  Heather and Dr. B roleplay a situation between...

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029-Mournings and Celebrations from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.944606

Mournings and Celebrations are a way of talking about things that have occurred while keeping our language judgment free.

NVC groups tend to use this kind of language during check in and c...

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033-Doing It Differently - Part 2 from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.930310

"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created them." Dr. B ends this episode with quote from Albert Einstein.  This week's guest provides a perfec...

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037-Mother's Day Brawl from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.916326

After a conflict that started on Mother's Day, Dr. B and her daughter had a conversation using their NVC skills and it was "quickly" and "sweetly" resolved.  Afterwards, Dr. B wished she had rec...

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038-"Clean"Pain and"Dirty"Pain from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.911283

In his book, "My Grandmother's Hands:  Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending our Hearts and Bodies," Resmaa Menakem shares about historical and generational trauma and how it lives in our...

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042-NVC Tips from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.897068

There tend to be some patterns that occur, especially when people just start learning NVC and then want to share it with others.  In this Episode, Dr. B and Heather address to questions and prov...

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046-The Empathy Gym from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.881434

Imagine having a place to go to practice, on the regular, your NVC skills and where you can get very specific feedback on your skill level.  TBM Empathy Gym is a membership based program where p...

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050-Common NVC Pain Points from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.867301

Are you struggling with NVC and how to make it come alive in your everyday interactions?  The good news is that you are in good company.  NVC is simple in concept but quite challenging to make c...

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051-Deepening the Self Empathy Process with Guest Dr. Jeremiah Murphy from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.862398

In this Episode:

  • What to do in moments of intensity?
  • Thinking about your intention - what does that mean and how can it inform your self-empathy process?
  • Going beyond ...

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055-Asking for What You Need in Communication from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.847605

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059-NVC and Spirituality from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.833523

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063-When Someone is"Shut-Down"- What To Do? from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.819075

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064-Listener Question - NVC and Family Stuff from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.813776

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068-I'm an F'ing Unicorn from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.799048

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072-A Work of Art from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.785568

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073-Talking NVC on the Trail from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.780740

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075-Know Where You Are! from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.770258

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076-The Importance of Expressing from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.763324

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081-NVC on the Trail - A Success Story! from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.747015

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085-NVC and a Growth Mindset from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.732542

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090-Having Closure Thanks to NVC from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.716100

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091-Mass Shootings, Social Emotional Learning, and NVC! from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.710745

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095-The Power of Connecting Requests from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.696042

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099-Workplace Hostility From a Listener from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.681422

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104-There is No There There! from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.662134

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108-Thoughts on the Testosterone Episode from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.646825

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112-A Rerun of"How our Responses Get Us in Trouble!" from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.632274

People tend to have a typical way that they respond in circumstances, we call this in NVC, other conversational responses. Here are a list of them; there's giving advice, consoling, relating one...

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113-Compassion for the Contractor from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.626895

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117-Slowing Down Our Misunderstanding from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.611779

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121-The TBM Intro Course - A Work of Art! from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.597612

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125-The Birthday Cry - Part 2 from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.583809

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126-Self Connection Practice from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.578959

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129-We might be"bad"communicators! from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.568082

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130-Loving Your Mourning from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.563006

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134-The Do Over! from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.548775

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138-Conflicts are Painful, Even with NVC from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.533887

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143-Requests and Demands in Group Situations from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.516068

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147-Steps 2-5 in the NVC Process from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.501004

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151-Call in Question - Reflection isn't Agreement! from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.485686

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152-Whose Needs are Your Responsible For? from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.478901

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156-A Question from a Listener in Poland from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.462089

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160-Room for Judgments from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.444267

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164-Pondering... People as Strategies? from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.430326

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165-Faux Feelings from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.425610

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169-The Power of Sticking with Observations from 2023-12-14T06:18:07.414410

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170-Getting Needs Guesses Wrong from 2023-12-13T00:00

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168-NVC in Business - An Interview with Devan Kline of Burn Bootcamp from 2023-11-29T00:00

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167-NVC in a Business Setting: An Interview with Farrah Sonnenberg from 2023-11-22T00:00

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166-There'sGotta Be a Good Reason from 2023-11-15T00:00

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163-Loving Your Needs from 2023-10-25T00:00

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162-It's All About Stimulus from 2023-10-18T00:00

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161-Can TBM and Empathy Gym Address Loneliness - especially for 20 year olds? from 2023-10-11T00:00

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159-Getting Clear on Evaluations from 2023-09-27T00:00

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158+NVC is Just a Tool! from 2023-09-20T00:00

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157-NVC to the Rescue! from 2023-09-13T00:00

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155-Three Main Takeaways From Our Intro to NVC Class from 2023-08-30T00:00

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154-The First Day of School... And NVC is Front and Center from 2023-08-23T00:00

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153-Using Empathy to Patch up a Relationship from 2023-08-16T00:00

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150-Presence is Important! from 2023-07-26T00:00

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149-Self-Connection Practice to Start Meetings from 2023-07-19T00:00

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148-Does Kicking the Shit Out of Someone Work? from 2023-07-12T00:00

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146-NVC for"Dummies!" from 2023-06-28T00:00

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145-More on Needs and Strategies from 2023-06-21T00:00

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144-Heather's Review of Dr. B's Book on NVC from 2023-06-14T00:00

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142-"Misusing"NVC! from 2023-05-31T00:00

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141-An Exploration on Politically Incorrect Conversations - Part 2 from 2023-05-24T00:00

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140-Dr. B Wrote a Book - My Link to Mildred from 2023-05-17T00:00

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139-An Exploration on Politically Incorrect Conversations from 2023-05-10T00:00

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137-Pitfalls from 2023-04-26T00:00

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136-A Teacher's Story from 2023-04-19T00:00

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135-The NVC Robot from 2023-04-12T00:00

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133-Interrupting is Great! from 2023-03-29T00:00

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132-Talking to a Brick Wall from 2023-03-22T00:00

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131-True Story Showing Demands vs. Requests&Needs vs. Strategies from 2023-03-15T00:00

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128-OCRs Oh My! from 2023-02-22T00:00

Other Conversational Responses (OCRs) are all the ways people tend to respond that are not empathy. In this Episode, Dr. B shares about a recent situation where someone was upset and all the folks...

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127-NVC on the Trail - Finding the Time! from 2023-02-15T00:00

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124-The Birthday Cry - Part 1 from 2023-01-25T00:00

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123-Reflection is Not Agreeing! from 2023-01-18T00:00

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122-NVC Gone Wrong! from 2023-01-11T00:00

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120-Cindy Has it Out with Heather - NVC Style! from 2022-12-28T00:00

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119-How to Get Your Partner to Give You Empathy! from 2022-12-21T00:00

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118-Thanks for Nothing on Thanksgiving from 2022-12-14T00:00

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116-The Magic of Presence from 2022-11-30T00:00

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115-Judgments are Judgments from 2022-11-23T00:00

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114-No one Listens!! from 2022-11-16T00:00

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111-Neural Pathways and Toilet Paper! from 2022-10-26T00:00

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110-Ghosting from 2022-10-19T00:00

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109-NVC on the Trail - Peace on the Homefront from 2022-10-12T00:00

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107-Testosterone and NVC from 2022-09-28T00:00

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106-Modeling an NVC Conversation from 2022-09-21T00:00

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105-Emotional Safety for Newcomers from 2022-09-14T00:00

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103-How to Shift Demand Energy from 2022-08-31T00:00

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102-A Conversation about Demand Energy from 2022-08-24T00:00

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101-NVC is Frustrating from 2022-08-17T00:00

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100-Message Sent - Message Received from 2022-08-10T00:00

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098-Big Win with the Lawn Man from 2022-07-27T00:00

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097-A Rerun of"The Epidemic of Trauma and Why NVC is the Cure!" from 2022-07-20T00:00

Episode Notes

The ACE Study is from the early 1990s, where they sampled about 17,000 people, having them take a survey that asked them, "From the ages of 0 to 17, how many of these thing...

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096-Our Early Programming, Self Love and NVC from 2022-07-13T00:00

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094-The Stages of Learning a New Skill - Like NVC! from 2022-06-29T00:00

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093-Words Smords from 2022-06-22T00:00

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092-Holding Space in a Group from 2022-06-15T00:00

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089-A Discussion About Feelings from 2022-05-25T00:00

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087-More About Trauma and NVC from 2022-05-18T00:00

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086- Dr. B Gets Empathy! from 2022-05-11T00:00

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084-A Little about Someone's NVC Journey from 2022-04-27T00:00

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083-NVC During Life's Hard Moments from 2022-04-20T00:00

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082-Using Other Conversational Responses from 2022-04-13T00:00

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080-NVC on the Trail - All About Empathy Gym and Why it Works from 2022-03-30T00:00

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079-NVC On the Trail - Using NVC in a Community Discussion from 2022-03-23T00:00

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078-NVC is not a Process from 2022-03-16T00:00

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074-NVC on the Trail - Building a New Brain, the Importance of Practice,&Other Parts of a Meandering Conversation from 2022-02-23T00:00

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074-NVC on the Trail - All About Feelings&Thoughts from 2022-02-16T00:00

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071-Indicators that Empathy Might Be Useful from 2022-01-26T00:00

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070-ABC + NVC from 2022-01-19T00:00

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069-Judging Judgements from 2022-01-12T00:00

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067-Celebrating Bringing NVC into Schools from 2021-12-29T00:00

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066-Accountability and a Badge System for NVC - Oh My! from 2021-12-22T00:00

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065-Listener Question - I want to give empathy to my kid - but we need to get to school!! from 2021-12-15T00:00

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062-In Memory of Trent from 2021-11-24T00:00

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061-We Love Screwing Up! from 2021-11-17T00:00

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060-Shit-talking Role Play from 2021-11-10T00:00

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058-When Empathy May Not Be Best! from 2021-10-27T00:00

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057-Moving Towards Conflict Part 2 from 2021-10-20T00:00

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056-Moving Towards Conflict Part 1 from 2021-10-13T00:00

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054-Protective Use of Force from 2021-09-29T00:00

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053-I Know That's A Judgment from 2021-09-22T00:00

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052-Sharing Power with Youth from 2021-09-15T00:00

Some of the topics discussed in this week's episode include:

  • Community Connections - what it was and who participated
  • How to work with kids in a group setting and build trust ...

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049-I'm Sorry! from 2021-08-25T00:00

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048-How to"Handle"Other People's Drama or Not! from 2021-08-18T00:00

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047-Are you here now? from 2021-08-11T00:00

There are a number of topics we discuss all in service to greater understanding around presence. 

Self Connection - this is modeled on the show

5-4-3-2-1 - a cool activity you can do...

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045-Appreciations Part 2 and Some Other Topics... from 2021-07-28T00:00

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044-Appreciations ala NVC from 2021-07-21T00:00

We've talked a lot, in past Episodes, about evaluative language and how it is tied to the trauma epidemic which tends to have a dominoes effect of one person (often unconsciously) triggering ano...

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043-Expression ala NVC from 2021-07-14T00:00

Expressing is just as important as giving empathy in the NVC model, and yet it is the component that is sometimes overlooked.  In this Episode, we discuss why it's important to express and how t...

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041-When Needs Are Not Met... What To Do? from 2021-06-30T00:00

If giving empathy and expression in NVC is based in connecting around needs, what is one to do when the other person involved is not interested in contributing to your needs?  This is a very tou...

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040-A Lawyer who Uses NVC from 2021-06-23T00:00

Kelly McGrath worked for 20+ years in the General Counsel's office at the Florida Department of Children and Families.  After learning NVC from Dr. Bigbie, she was inspired to take her work in a...

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039-Examples of Empathy and Non-Empathy from 2021-06-16T00:00

In this episode, we quickly go over the components of empathy:  presence, reflection, and needs guesses.   Then, you will hear Dr. B going through a list of "mock" statements and Heather respond...

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036-Silent Empathy from 2021-05-26T00:00

Sometime out loud empathy may not be connecting and, in those circumstances, silent empathy may be just the ticket.  

What is silent empathy?  How is it different than just getting quiet i...

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035-The Three States of Mind from 2021-05-19T00:00

According to author, Steve Taylor, humans have three different states of mind:  Abstraction, Absorption, and Attention.  

Abstraction is the busy mind, consumed with thoughts about past an...

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034-Letting Other Know You're in WAIT from 2021-05-12T00:00

  • WAIT stands for Why Am I Talking or What Am I Thinking?  Both are important and serve different roles in the NVC process.
  • It's important to let the other know that you are WAITING -...

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032-Doing It Differently - Part 1 from 2021-04-28T00:00

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031-I can't hear you! from 2021-04-21T00:00

  • This episode starts out with some lamenting and some empathy regarding the technical problems with the podcast's audio quality - which were pointed out by a listener.
  • Dr. B. is a bi...

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030-To be (Empathy) or not to be (Empathy)! from 2021-04-14T00:00

  • On self-connection..."... It's a good habit to get into. I recommend people start doing this when you start a meeting, when you're beginning a class, before you get out of your car in the m...

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028-We"Feel Like"You Should Listen to This! from 2021-03-31T00:00

  • Dr. B discusses why she thinks making this "simple" distinction, between thoughts and feelings,  in our communication can bring about more peace in our world.
  • It's important to prac...

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027-The Bigbie Method - Operationalizing Peace, Part 2 from 2021-03-24T00:00

In this Episode, you will learn about the various components of The Bigbie Method (TBM):

  1. The Intro Course  - a foundational course to learn the basics of Nonviolent Communication
    2. ...

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026-The Bigbie Method - Operationalizing Peace! from 2021-03-17T00:00

In this Episode, we share the following information

  1. What is The Bigbie Method?
  2. How did The Bigbie Method come to be?
  3. A little about the Community Connections Restorati...

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023-Loving Your Jackal! from 2021-02-24T00:00

  • "Jackaling is using the language of blame as opposed to Nonviolent Communication which is known as Giraffe language, the giraffe is the symbol of NVC."  (00:23.7)
  • " Sometimes it's p...

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022-Enemy Image Process from 2021-02-17T00:00

Episode Notes

  • WAIT stands for Why Am I Talking or What Am I Thinking?  (01:14.4)
  • "There's nothing passive about the WAIT process." (03:12.4)
  • "Sometimes you're just l...

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021-Roleplaying A Difficult Conversation ala NVC from 2021-02-10T00:00

  • And I do wanna go back to the first part of the role play when you didn't wanna go into any of the strategies with me, like the conversation... couldn't go any further. It was too triggerin...

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019 -NVC for Non-Listeners from 2021-01-27T00:00

Key Points Discussed:

  • "...{This episode is for people who may not be interested in NVC or know people who are resistant because they  have] ideas about it being reall...

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018-Self-Connection from 2021-01-20T00:00

Key Points Discussed:

  • "...what self-connection does, it gets you connected with what's there, which is what we tend to not want to do very often, pay attention, espec...

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017 - NVC and What Happened at the U.S. Capital! from 2021-01-13T00:00

We recorded Part 2 of this Episode first and then Heather was a bit triggered by the conversation and Dr. B. was also concerned that some folks might take offense to the "education" being offere...

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015-Encore Presentation of What the Heck is NVC? from 2020-12-29T09:51:16

Key Points Discussed:

  • I've been training youth and community volunteers in the NVC process, and I'm getting ready to launch my business called The Bigbie Method to op...

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014-The Riff from 2020-12-23T10:39:51

 So I want to give you a little background on how we even came up with us. I want you to really meet my good friend and co-host, and my daughter from another mother, Heather. So what happened wa...

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013 - WAIT - When Triggered! from 2020-12-16T11:00

Key Points Discussed:

  • I think many people venturing into NVC, just the name of it, Non-Violent Communication. I think some folks might think that means that there's n...

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010-Giving Thanks NVC Style from 2020-11-25T10:45:18

What do we mean by empathy? For those people that are new to our podcasts and new to NVC, we mean presence, reflection, and taking guesses about the needs the person is trying to communicate. No...

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009-Jackals and Giraffes from 2020-11-18T03:00

Giraffes are tall, so they have far vision, and when you're using the Non-Violent Communication process, you have to have a long vision. It's not about being right or wrong, good or bad, it's li...

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008-Making Connection a Real Thing: Part 2 from 2020-11-11T03:00

The definition of connection that I like to use is that connection is the flow and ease that occurs within you and between people when they experience being seen, heard and valued without judgme...

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Episode 006: How Our Responses Get Us in Trouble! Comparing Our Responses to NVC Responses from 2020-10-28T08:48:30

People tend to have a typical way that they respond in circumstances, we call this in NVC, other conversational responses. Here are a list of them; there's giving advice, consoling, relating one...

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Episode 005: What is Connection? And How to Have It! from 2020-10-21T17:32:22

Key Points Discussed:

  • Empathy process is the backbone of NVC, and I hesitate to even use the term empathy because most people, when they hear empathy, they think they...

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Episode 004: The Epidemic of Trauma and Why NVC is the Cure! from 2020-10-21T05:03:06

The ACE Study is from the early 1990s, where they sampled about 17,000 people, having them take a survey that asked them, "From the ages of 0 to 17, how many of these things happened to you?" An...

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Episode 003: You Judge - Oh Yes You Do! from 2020-10-21T05:02:44

Key Points Discussed:

  • Some people when they hear non-violent communication, they're turned off right from the get-go because they're thinking, well, I'm not violent w...

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Episode 002-Who We Are and Why We Can Teach You a Little Something about NVC? from 2020-10-15T06:00

Key Points Discussed:

  • The folks in Washington that were running the whole thing, they wanted those of us on the forefront to do peace differently, because they had sa...

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Episode 001: What the Heck is NVC? from 2020-10-14T06:00

Key Points Discussed:

  •  I've been training youth and community volunteers in the NVC process, and I'm getting ready to launch my business called The Bigbie Method to o...

    Listen