Podcasts by Coffee with The Couple Cure
Practical Tips to help your relationship, by the time you finish your first cup
Further podcasts by Jay & Lori Pyatt
Podcast on the topic Kinder und Familie
All episodes
How to Rebuild Trust When He Feels Attacked (“this is stupid”)–4.25S from 2022-12-02T17:30:03
What caused Jay to take all of this more seriously (even if he felt attacked)? And what would cause Matt to say, “This is stupid!” We cover both of those here, in this LAST EPISODE OF THE SEASON....
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One Thing Some Guys Resent (ways to build trust instead)–4.24S from 2022-11-25T17:30:15
Transitioning from dating to marriage has its challenges, even without addictions. But healing a relationship after betrayal is even more challenging. Here are some things you can do to make the p...
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One Thing Many Guys Hide (honesty isn’t enough)–4.23S from 2022-11-18T17:30:30
Rebuilding trust takes more than honest answers to the questions you are asked. You have to share what is going on for you without being prompted. This is huge in rebuilding trust after betrayal. ...
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2 Ways to Connect after Broken Trust (sharing this)–4.22S from 2022-11-11T17:30:15
Connection doesn’t just happen. You have to make plans and create opportunities to connect. This episode shows specific ways to do this that may work better for both partners. TIMESTAMPS (click ...
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How to Find Real Satisfaction (trauma-fueled distractions?)–4.21S from 2022-11-04T16:30:05
This video covers some brain science behind video games. We also discuss how Jay replaced his entertainment addiction with a bigger life so he could finally feel satisfied. TIMESTAMPS (click o...
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How Entertainment Actually Helped After Betrayal (learning but not applying)–4.20S from 2022-10-28T16:30:46
This episode covers video games and hobbies, and how being distracted by learning things can harm trust restoration. We also discuss how entertainment actually helped our relationship. TIMESTA...
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2 Kinds of Values&2 Other Addictions (how to name emotions)–4.19S from 2022-10-21T16:30:34
In this video we discuss two addictions we haven’t covered before, as well as 2 different kinds of values. WE also discuss the issue of faking vulnerability. TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to...
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How to Know: Should You Stay or Go (“I am more important than…”)–4.18S from 2022-10-14T16:30:03
How do you know if you should stay or go? And what would cause Lori to say, “I am more important than ___”? We discuss those topics with author and coach, Matthew Fray, as well as what if he never...
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What if He’s NOT ‘All In’? (is he clueless, toxic… or teachable?)–4.17S from 2022-10-07T16:30:04
In this conversation with Matthew Fray, we discuss different viewpoints if it appears the guy isn’t ‘all in.’ We also cover one thing Lori HAD to start trusting Jay would do. TIMESTAMPS (cli...
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How to Stop Mistreating Her (empathy and validation)–4.16S from 2022-09-30T16:30:03
How can a guy keep himself from mistreating–or even abusing–his partner? And how do you even start talking about those behaviors? Those are a couple of topics we discuss with author Matthew Fray...
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What if He Never Changes? (why men get defensive over safety and trust)–4.15S from 2022-09-23T16:30:25
Are safety and trust the same thing? This video will look at safety and trust from different angles, and it also covers why a guy may get defensive over those topics, and “What if the guy doesn’t ...
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4 Kinds of Guys (“can you just care?”)–4.14S from 2022-09-16T16:30:32
In the continued conversation with Matt Fray, we cover a few different kinds of guys, including guys who get defensive, guys who fix, guys who ‘don’t get it,’ and guys who are teachable. We also d...
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How to Heal Broken Trust (who will he choose)–4.13S from 2022-09-09T16:30
How does validation heal broken trust… especially if he constantly chooses himself over her? And how can he conquer the monsters betrayal usually brings? We discuss these with Matt Fray in this v...
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“Aren’t You Over That Yet?” (his pain vs. her pain)–4.12S from 2022-09-02T16:30:02
This video covers 3 places guys get stuck in broken trust, how he can connect with her pain after broken trust, and what to know if a guy is saying, “Aren’t you over that yet?”. TIMESTAMPS (clic...
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He Doesn’t Understand My Pain (3 invalidations)–4.11S from 2022-08-26T16:30:06
Disagreements can lead to 3 types of invalidation, as well as 1 unique way invalidation erodes trust–especially when she feels he doesn’t understand her pain. We discuss this with Matt Fray, as we...
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One Quick Way to Restore Trust (she can’t heal unless…)–4.10S from 2022-08-19T16:30:18
Why is validation one quick way to heal trust? Because without it she will have a difficult time healing within the relationship. This video covers that concept, as well as why sexual affairs may ...
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What Makes Men “Get It”? (if an affair is the goal)–4.09S from 2022-08-12T16:30:25
What’s the first thing a guy should do if he’s harmed the relationship, and what can make him “get it” more quickly? Also what can the lady do if his goal is to have an affair? We discuss those t...
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Are Emotional Affairs Actually Affairs? (it’s not difficult)–4.08S from 2022-08-05T16:30:24
Unfortunate ideas can get twisted in a person’s mind, leading them to have affairs; ideas like, “But if my wife were the right person…” We discuss this with author Matt Fray, and we also cover the...
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Can Lying Actually Cause PTSD? (needs addicts focus on)–4.07S from 2022-07-29T16:30:10
Can porn use and lies lead to PTSD? And what can be done when someone says, “Why won’t you lighten up?” We cover those topics in our continued talk with author, Matt Fray. TIMESTAMPS (click ...
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She’s Not Meeting My Needs! (is safety actually a need?)–4.06S from 2022-07-22T16:29:17
Are her needs more important than his? No, but as you’ll see in this video, his most important needs are usually already met. Our female clients can’t say the same, and this reduces feelings of s...
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When the One who Broke Trust Can’t Trust You (vulnerability)–4.05S from 2022-07-15T16:30:18
What if the person who's broken your trust says, “I did that because I can’t trust you!” Today we cover that, as well as the topic of vulnerability with author Matt Fray. TIMESTAMPS0:00 Intro 0:...
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How to Increase Intimacy (will it take divorce?)–4.04S from 2022-07-08T16:00:24
“Change doesn’t happen until it gets painful enough.” Is this true, and if so, what does it look like? That’s what we cover with author and coach Matt Fray. TIMESTAMPS0:00 Intro 0:11 Will it t...
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Keys to Successful Relationships (then don’t be married)–4.03S from 2022-07-01T16:00:39
Matthew Fray tells what it all comes down to in marriage… and how he felt right after his divorce. Also find out when he would tell a person, “Fine, then don’t be married.” TIMESTAMPS0:00 Intro ...
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What’s Her Problem? (what he was adamant about)–4.02S from 2022-06-24T15:05:58
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfdAB7hjhME This episode covers a little about Matt’s divorce and his two main focal points in marriage.0:00 Intro 0:07 Solutions: The two main things Matt works ...
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A Great New Book: This is How Your Marriage Ends–4.01S from 2022-06-17T15:05:06
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBQbaIgrd9I Meet Matt Fray, Author of “This is How Your Marriage Ends” and hear how he says he ‘forced’ his wife to walk away from the marriage.0:00 Intro 0:28 Ma...
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How to “Rage at the Addiction” (solutions for relationships)–4.00S from 2022-06-10T15:54:39
Whether you're married, divorced, single or separated, there are effective solutions that can help you heal and can help you have better relationships. This video previews what to expect in th...
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12 Major Pitfalls of the 12-Steps (after betrayal trauma, abuse and lies) – 3.17S from 2021-08-18T17:55:53
Addicts have to avoid these major pitfalls if they're going to recover from their addictions… and if they're going to rebuilt trust. This episode also covers signs to look for in order to know if t...
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12 Common Pitfalls of the 12-Steps (after betrayal trauma, abuse and lies) – 3.16S from 2021-08-11T17:55:52
Addicts have to avoid these common pitfalls if they're going to recover from their addictions… and if they're not going to make things worse in the relationship. Episode Summary:-Signs of impendin...
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How can a Loving God Allow… (The Pain of Betrayal, Lies and Abuse) – 3.15S from 2021-08-04T17:55:19
If God is good, how can He allow things like addiction, betrayal, lies and abuse? In this episode we cover that difficult topic. While we address the ancient saying,"fill up the sufferings of Chris...
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The FULL Serenity Prayer (True happiness despite Lies, Betrayal and Abuse) 3.14S from 2021-07-28T17:55:46
The full version of the Serenity Prayer isn't well known, yet if addict's adhered to, it can bring them happiness—a happiness that can replace the pleasure betrayal and lies bring. This episode cov...
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The REAL Serenity Prayer (The quickest way to change your situation) – 3.13S from 2021-07-21T17:55:17
Most people have heard the first three lines of the Serenity Prayer, but it's usually the popular version. The original version is much richer. And its main tenants are essential for recovery from ...
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Step 12: Sharing this Message (Ministering after Lies, Betrayal Trauma, or Abuse) 3.12S from 2021-07-14T17:55:11
Many recovering addicts create more pain by using this Step to abandon their wives. This episode covers what addicts can do instead, especially if he's betrayed her, lied to her, or used abusive ta...
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Step 11: Contact God (Living in a surrendered way) – 3.11S from 2021-07-07T17:55:51
It's one thing to lay down an addiction, but it needs to be replaced with something more life-giving. This episode is about taking your sobriety further on a daily basis through relationship with G...
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Step 10: For When You’re Wrong (and rewiring the addicted brain) – 3.10S from 2021-06-30T17:55
We all mess up, but after betrayal trauma and lies, but if an addict wants to rebuild trust, they have to be prompt about making things right. This episode covers a few techniques to make this an e...
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Step 9: Making Amends Unless… (And the best apologies) 3.09S from 2021-06-23T17:55:40
Episode Summary: -Step 9 of the 12-Steps-How to handle the exception written in the step -The most sincere form of an apology-Excuses people make to not do this step Timestamps:0:00 Intro to Step ...
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Step 8: All Those I’ve Harmed (Making a list) – 3.08S from 2021-06-16T17:50:49
Whether it's through betrayal, trauma, abuse or lying, addictions can cause a lot of harm. In this episode, Jay and Lori cover the first step to making it right, as well as what to do if you're not...
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Step 7: The Humble Ask (God Doesn’t Just Take it Away)–3.07S from 2021-06-09T17:50:16
It'd be great if God just took the desire for our addicts away, but we rarely see that in our line of work. This episode covers what to do instead, as well as special things to consider after lying...
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Step 6 Character Defects (Handing over old tools)–3.06S from 2021-06-02T17:50:06
Porn addiction, betrayal and lies can wreck a couple. An addict has to be ready to release his old coping mechanisms. Jay and Lori also cover their experience with addiction and fear, as well as wh...
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Step 5: Admit It (and how this is different than Disclosure after Betrayal and Lying)–3.05S from 2021-05-26T20:26:34
https://youtu.be/AVX0smOj4-g Watch video on YouTube here:This Step is about addicts not lying to themselves anymore—and not hiding the truth about themselves—anymore. It's about getting real, and w...
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Step 4: A Fearless Step (Write for Freedom)–3.04S from 2021-05-20T17:50:37
Withholding information (also known as lying) is common, especially with porn and sex addicion. That's why this step is crucial to healing, both for the addict, and for the one who's been lied to a...
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Healing Addiction through Surrendering All (if you have questions) from 2021-05-12T17:00
Hello Our latest video is down below, but as an FYI…We will be on a live Q&A tonight as part of a summit sharing tips on managing emotions, disclosure, separation, reconciliation and beyond in an o...
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Addiction Recovery&Betrayal Trauma: Step 2 (Restoring Sanity)–3.02S&Tons of Free Information from 2021-05-06T16:03:05
This episode covers: Step 2 of the 12 Steps / Believing in a Power greater than ourselves / The root of the problem. Timestamps: 0:00 Intro1:09 Pornographically addicted 1:32 Step 2 - Restore me ...
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Addiction Recovery & Betrayal Trauma: Step 2 (Higher Power…Restoring Sanity) – 3.02S from 2021-05-06T02:51:07
This episode covers: Step 2 of the 12 Steps / Believing in a Power greater than ourselves / The root of the problem. Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
1:09 Pornographically addicted
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Addiction Recovery&Betrayal Trauma: Step 1 (Life Becomes Unmanageable)–3.01S from 2021-04-29T17:11:08
Here's our latest episode, which covers: -Step 1 of the 12 Steps-How it reflects the steps toward God -What Jay and Lori see in their clientsTimestamps: 0:00 Intro0:34 What this season is based on ...
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Addiction Recovery&Betrayal Trauma: Preview (&Behind the Scenes)–3.00S from 2021-03-20T20:25:11
Here's our latest episode, which covers: -What happened to Jay and Lori in 2020, including run-ins with the IRS-A behind-the-scenes look at how they celebrated their 25th Anniversary Timestamps:0:...
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Betrayal Trauma: Season Recap (&Blooper Reel)–2.18S from 2021-03-20T20:16:37
Hello everyone. In this episode we cover:-A quick recap of the season on Betrayal Trauma -Jay and Lori's favorite episodes -This season's blooper reel Timestamps:0:00 Intro 2:50 What this episode...
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Systems of Oppression&Injustice (7 Truths and What to Do About It)–2.17S from 2019-11-21T16:00:34
In the last full episode of Season 2, we talk about a not-so-fun reality that exists in many areas of our nation: Injustice through Systems of Oppression. BUT we also share something you can do if...
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Angry at God (or With God)–2.16S from 2019-11-14T16:00:22
This one starts out talking about the partner's anger at God (it might just be something else). Then we talk about the addict's anger at God, himself… and the wife. And what he should do if he's ...
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Comebacks–The Nastier One (How I expressed My Voice Pt 2)–2.15S from 2019-11-07T16:00:44
This is a continuation of the last episode where we're covering how Lori responded to those who objected to how we've recovered. This exchange, however, got a little nastier than the last one.
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Comebacks–The Nice One (How I Expressed My Voice)–2.14S from 2019-10-31T15:00:33
In this episode we give an example of how to respond to someone who is gentle, yet still misunderstanding the issues involved after betrayal.
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“Woman, Submit!”(What Submission Looks Like after Betrayal Trauma)–2.13S from 2019-10-24T15:00:41
Submission in marriage is regularly misunderstood, so this episode discusses what God meant it to look like in marriage… and what it might look like after betrayal.
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How is Betrayal Trauma Formed? (Symptoms of PTSD) (Video) 2.12S from 2019-10-17T15:00:39
This episode covers THE thing that can make a situation go from bad to traumatic. We also discuss things that can make the process less damaging for you.
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Distance from God and The Different Economies of God (Video) 2.11S from 2019-09-26T14:02:13
This is one we threw together after a movie one night. The room (and Lori) are a mess, but you may find the content helpful. Thanks to the movie Breakthrough and Chrissy Metz for her powerful act...
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Treat Her Betrayal Trauma Pain as Real (&Pray Boldly)–2.10S from 2019-09-19T17:00:36
This is one we threw together after a movie one night. The room (and Lori) are a mess, but you may find the content helpful. Thanks to the movie Breakthrough and Chrissy Metz for her powerful act...
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His Self-Deception (&How to Fight It)–2.09S from 2019-09-11T15:37:18
Jay and Lori discuss self-deception and lies. Why do betrayers do this? Why did Jay lie to Lori? They also cover some things you can do to overcome these behaviors and get to a better place.
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How Lies Increase Betrayal Trauma Pain, Pt 2 (Video)–2.08S from 2019-09-05T18:00:42
Lori holds Jay's feet to the fire on one of his past beliefs. Then we speak directly to the guys.
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How Lies Increase Betrayal Trauma, Pt 1 (Video)–2.07S from 2019-08-28T17:30:52
Women tell me the lying is worse than the sexual integrity issue. Jay goes into the first lies he ever told, and Lori shares what she thought when he'd lie about certain things. He even shared some...
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What She Wishes She’d Known, Pt 2 (Video)–2.06S from 2019-08-21T16:55:17
Continued from the previous episode where Lori shares what she wishes she'd known the first time the truth came out.
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What She Wishes She’d Known, Pt 1 (Video)–2.05S from 2019-08-14T20:48:06
Lori shares what she wishes she'd known about betrayal the first time the truth came out.
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What He Wishes He’d Known: A Porn Addict Speaks on the Addiction (Video)–2.04S from 2019-08-07T17:30
Here Jay gives several things he wishes he'd known about the addiction... and the recovery process.
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Other Sources of Betrayal Pain (Video/Podcast)–2.03S from 2019-08-01T14:57:10
"Aren't you over this yet?""It's just porn!""It's your job to forgive!"Some things told to betrayed who've been betrayed don't help. They only become new sources of pain; new ways...
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When Betrayals Continue, She’s Still in the War–2.02S from 2019-07-25T17:17:49
Even when addictive behaviors stop, if other unhealthy behaviors continue then she is still'living with ...
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Can Betrayal Be Traumatic? An Addict’s Perspective (Video)–2.01S from 2019-07-18T16:58:34
This is the first episode of Season 2 where we cover the basics of betrayal, but also have a few new...
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2.00S Trailer for Podcast Season 2 from 2019-04-23T18:07:51
Hi Everyone. Lori and I wanted to give you a preview of Season 2. You have the option of watching the video or listening to the podcast, which has better audio.https://youtu.be/UJKd8zgdmfk
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1.17S Seasons (Pseudo-Peace) from 2019-04-03T22:00:38
This episode covers the seasons we go through, and genuine-peace. We also announce something new: we'll be breaking this podcast into different seasons to tackle different topics. (Subscribe on yo...
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1.16S People Groups (Our Skunks) from 2019-04-02T22:38:02
This episode is about the kinds of people groups and attitudes that can distract us, and who we tend to hang around.
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1.15 Our Anniversary (Celebrating) from 2019-03-27T16:00:40
This episode covers something couples can do to bond them more closely together.
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1.14S Can You Phrase it Differently? (Communication Tool) from 2019-03-26T17:00:42
This episode covers a technique that can help you avoid arguments... and where we've needed it in the past.
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1.13 My Apology to Jay (When My Husband Dies, Pt2) from 2019-03-20T05:00:56
In this episode, Lori apologizes to Jay for something she did during their healing years.
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1.12 Special Days (Thoughtfulness and Reading Minds) from 2019-03-19T18:30:24
This time we discuss handling those"Special"days in the relationship. Maybe you have a birthday or anniversary coming up and you're feeling some anxiety about it... listen in.
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1.11S Can You Trust Us? (Qualifications) from 2019-03-13T09:05:48
Some may wonder,"Why should I trust you?" Here's an audio account of our history with helping marriages.
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1.10S Our Dark Story (with Some New Info) from 2019-03-11T16:30:12
This episode covers the part of our story we've told before numerous audiences. There's a few pieces of new information. Even still, if you've heard it too many times before, feel free to skip.
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1.09 Disappointments (Supporting Each Other) from 2019-03-06T17:30:28
This episode was recorded late last year after 15 months of one loss after another. (On a lighter note, it also covers how we're not'cooking the books.')
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1.08 Honeymooning Alone (Huh?) from 2019-03-05T17:30:08
This episode discusses a new trend... one that we just don't understand.
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1.07S How We Got Married (the Miracles) from 2019-03-02T17:00:29
This episode covers the signs that helped us know we were supposed to get married... and how your own story can help you.
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1.06S How to Make Effective Agreements (Demanding-ness) from 2019-03-01T17:00:26
This episode gives tips on how to make agreements so that
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1.05S The Story Ruiner (Leading a Hidden Life) from 2019-02-23T17:18:23
Here's a fun take on how details are treated in the relationship... and we also cover how this changes after betrayal.
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1.04 When My Spouse Dies (Finding a Balance) from 2019-02-22T22:26:04
Learn about an indicator of relationship healing, and how to get...
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1.03S The Fun Part of Our Story (Broken Printers) from 2019-02-21T22:08:45
We've shared with various audiences how we nearly divorced, but here's the fun side of our history. (To Betrayed Ladies: This next episode of our podcast covers the fun side of our story. If you're...
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1.02 My Funny Valentine (Inside Jokes) from 2019-02-16T03:15:44
We discuss the importance of inside jokes… and let you in on a few of our own.
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1.01S Valentine’s Day (A Podcast for Relationships) from 2019-02-15T02:12:27
Here's our new podcast for relationships. Ep.1 shares info about who we are and what you can expect. Many couples have worked with us to heal after betrayal, but this podcast will share the fun si...
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