Podcasts by Jem Girls Podcast

Charmed, Season 1 Episode 9: "The Witch is Back" from 2023-11-27T15:47:14

We all know time is an eyeball. Established fact. Please see every other episode of this podcast for an explanation. So, again, it's given that time is an eyeball. Does that mean, then, to move t...

Charmed, Season 1 Episode 8: "The Truth Is Out There...And It Hurts" from 2023-10-31T02:51:28

The truth is out there and…

It turns out feminism is a lie. C’mon ladies, Do you actually believe you have any...

Charmed, Season 1 Episode 7: "The Fourth Sister" from 2023-09-20T16:14:10

Logically speaking, if two is company, and three's a crowd, then "four" must be even worse form of grouping. Maybe "four's an unbearable teen with weak eyebrow game who makes everything kind of wor...

Charmed, Season 1 Episode 6 “The Wedding from Hell” from 2023-08-14T17:04

Listen, did we release this episode under a different name already? Yes. Do we blame the linear quality of time in the third dimension? Also, yes. So be ready for the actually in-line-with-the-ti...

Charmed, Season 1, Episode 5 "Dream Sorcerer" from 2023-08-02T17:03:51

Don't you just hate it when creepy a (yet oddly handsome) guy hit on you at a bar, you reject them because obviously you are a GODDESS honey, then, later on that night, when your resting your head ...

Charmed, Season 1 Episode 4 "Dead Man Dating" from 2023-07-05T14:47:41

Charmed, Episode 3, "Thank you for not morphing" from 2023-06-07T15:09:58

Hey witches, we're here like we always are (until the end of time!) with a new episode. And, what is this??? We're talking about the SAME show THREE times in a row? Yes, believe, because the Powe...

Jem Girls/Immortal Frenemies Present Charmed Season 1 Episode 2: "I've GOt from 2023-05-16T12:45:04

JemGirls/Immortal Frenemies Present: Charmed, Episode 1, "Something Wicca This Way Comes" from 2023-05-02T14:15:59

When one rebrand ends... another begins. One that's a bit more ...charmed?? See what we did there? Yes, you read/heard/felt in your soul correctly: The JemGirls/Immortal Frenemies are ditching t...

Jem Girls Present: The Wendy Williams Power Hour Pt. 2 from 2023-04-18T17:25:50

The Immortal Frenemies (Nee Jem Girls) are doing it Wendy Williams style this week with a brand new episode of The Wendy Williams Power Hour. We are back to flap our mouth holes about Season 6 Epis...

Jem Girls Presents: The Wendy Williams Power Hour from 2023-03-29T15:53:49

If you needed more reason to believe we've lost our minds, look no further, because we've decided to start covering Wendy Williams!! Why? Honestly, we have no justification outside of the fact th...

Jem Girls Present: the Immortal Frenemies Episode 4: Sister Act from 2023-03-13T17:44:06

Since we get down on our knees for Jesus and put the "hole" in "holy" every day and every night, we thought we'd continue spreading the Lord's word (and His legs and His many venereal diseases..) b...

Jem Girls Presents: Immortal Frenemies: 13 Going on 30 from 2023-02-14T15:53:27

Ok, we dropped the ball here people. Despite the hour-long conversation the Jem Girls/Immortal Frenemies/Hakuna and Orifice had about Jennifer Garner's "13 Going on 30," we didn't once (not once!) ...

Seed of Chucky from 2023-01-31T00:00:48

Your favourite dumb sluts are back this week to discuss 2004’s “Seed of Chucky.” This iteration of the Child’s Play series explores what happens when a murderous doll spews his seed into the guts o...

Jem Girls Presents: Immortal Frenemies&How Stella Got Her Groove Back(ula) from 2023-01-19T00:11:07

We're back!! Yes, it's been a hot minute since our splendiferous 69th (nice) episode. And, since there's no better number than good ol' 69 (nice ...sorry we can't not) we're just going to go the r...

Episode 69 (Nice): Truly Outrageous: A Jem Fan Film! from 2022-04-08T12:54:29

The day has arrived, dear listeners: you have finally graduated from jembryo status and risen to the esteemed rank of jemologists. We have finished our coverage (and earnest study of) the Jem and t...

Episode 68: Jem and the Holograms Movie from 2022-04-01T11:51:47

Wow! Our collective prayers have been answered! A Jem and the Holograms movie is coming out!! That is, at least, what the Jem fandom was saying in 2015 when the film was first released. Or, maybe ...

Episode 67: A Father Should Be... from 2022-03-25T12:38:24

Well folks, if we haven’t already earned our place in hell, our conversation this week will definitely ensure that we get there… It’s hard because Ba Nee, with her never ending thirst for a father...

Episode 66: Riot's Hope from 2022-03-18T18:59:23

Yes, we took a bit of an end-of-winter-break (that's a thing in the eyeball-verse, just roll with it) but we're back and ready to roll into the final episo...

Episode 65: A Change of Heart from 2022-02-07T16:33:34

After almost dying from an angry homicidal undertow, Minx experiences a “change of heart”, transforming from a manipulative psychotic evil bitch to a manipulative psychotic, slightly benevolent bit...

Episode 64: “Straight from the Heart” from 2022-01-21T17:40:25

Hello and welcome to the debut of our inaugural fashion line “Litter and Old!” Yes, you heard that right, this Jem and the Holograms-inspired clothing series features the odd (yet enticing?) combin...

Episode 63: That Old Houdini Magic from 2022-01-13T14:08:45

In this episode of Jem, we meet an old lady, Mrs. Farnsworth, with a lot of money and even more watches, who has an intense fetish for the ghost of Houdini (mama is spectral-sexual) and an obsessio...

Episode 62: The Day the Music Died from 2022-01-06T14:34:48

One, two, three… wait a second, where’s the fourth wall? Is this episode missing entire wall!? Come on, now, we’ve seen lazy animation on Jem and the Holograms, but this really takes the cake. Na...

He-Man&She-Ra: A Christmas Special from 2021-12-24T03:13:09

Merry non-denominational winter-time celebration! Hah, just kidding, we’re not secular like that over here in at the Jem Girls podcast because we know this time of year is really all about one ho...

Episode 61: Midsummer Night's Madnes from 2021-12-19T02:11:32

Kali Spera, malakas (that’s greek for jerk offs btw, sorry not sorry)! Welcome back to Jem Girls, the podcast where we have historically expounded upon the ancient mythology of great gods and godde...

Watch Party: Canada's Drag Race Season 2 Episode 8: “Prom” (and kind of Episode 7 “ The Roast of Brooke Lynn Hytes”) from 2021-12-07T15:50:35

Let’s do the time warp! Again! Back to high school! Oh, wait, please god no, no, anything but that! While, yes, the idea of heading back to the hellscape that is high school is truly a horrific n...

Watch Party: Canada's Drag Race Season 2 Episode 6 "The Sinner's Ball" from 2021-11-22T18:07:21

Hallelujah and welcome to Jem Girls, the podcast of biblical proportions devoted to the Church of Jizzus Christ and the Latter Day Taints, where we watch 80s cartoons and worship the Lord of Eyebal...

Watch Party: Canada's Drag Race Season 2 Episode 5 from 2021-11-15T19:05:02

Well eat my ass and call me daddy! It’s your favourite kissing cousins, the Jem Girls, back after a week-long deep throating extravaganza in the deep south to bring you our much-unneeded commentary...

Watch Party: Canada’s Drag Race Season 2, Episode 4 “Snatch Game” from 2021-11-10T16:27:53

Y’all ready to get snatched!? Of course you are, you listen to this podcast, where one of the requirements is an extreme affinity for snatchification. That nonsense aside, this week on Jem Girl...

Watch Party: Canada’s Drag Race S2E3 from 2021-11-03T13:38:10

The Watch Party Continues!! Albeit kind of late… because, yes, we are very aware we’re releasing the Jem Girls review of Canada’s Drag Race Season 2, Episode 3, entitled “Screech” super late. Like,...

Episode 60: "Homeland, Heartland" from 2021-10-27T15:04:31

Get ready and buckle up, because dance is heading to Zagreb! No, wait, sorry, not “dance,” as in the practice of moving one’s body to music (they probably have that up out in Croatia already), we m...

Watch Party: Canada’s Drag Race S2E2 from 2021-10-22T21:39:58

We are back at it, hennie! Yes, that’s right, the dynamic duo of totally-unqualified-hosts are back and bringing your earholes even more harsh critiques of...

Episode 59: "Beauty and the Rock Promoter" from 2021-10-20T18:21:31

In the two and half seasons of Jem that we’ve covered thus far, we’ve seen A LOT of shit. You’ve got your orphan slavery, your Lord of Eyeballs, your jazzercise ghost mother slash super computer......

Watch Party: Canada’s Drag Race S2E1 from 2021-10-17T01:23:50

Welcome to Jem Girls Watch Party! It’s something new we’re trying out where we take our biting commentary on classic 80s cartoon to the wider world of modern media. And what better place to start t...

Episode 58: “Video Wars” from 2021-10-13T15:35:56

In this week’s episode, Kathy Bates’ little brother and part-time co-writer of the gay porn series RoboCop: Alpha Commando, Cary Bates, joins forces with wise guy Greg Weisman to slap together a de...

Episode 57: "The Stinger Hit Town, Part 2" from 2021-10-06T17:29:54

After Eric sold everything he owned to move into a crack house on skid row and hedge his bets claiming full ownership of Misfits music, he and Jerrica duke it out to convince the Stingers to join t...

Episode 56: “The Stingers Hit Town” (Part 1) from 2021-09-29T16:44:54

We’re here, we’re queer and we’re in Season 3 of Jem and the Holograms! You know who else is here for the next/last batch of episodes and is also hella queer? The Stingers, everyone’s favourite Ge...

Episode 55: "Hollywood Jem, Part 2: And the Winner Is..." from 2021-09-23T18:16:02

Well, we’ve made it folks! The end of the second season of Jem and the Holograms is here. It has been a truly wild ride filled with twists, turns, flashbacks and flashes forward, orphan-soul-harves...

Episode 54: “Hollywood Jem, Part 1: For Your Consideration” from 2021-09-16T14:48:42

Oh, the glitz and glam of Hollywood, a perfect fit for any sophisticated, fun and smart young woman. In other words: the antithesis of Jem/Jerrica Benton. Somehow, though, Jem secured an Oscar nom...

Episode 53: "Out of the Past" from 2021-09-09T13:21:23

On our podcast, we frequently discuss the concept of time and how we really don’t understand it (and as a couple of former little girls who are turning into a pair of grizzled old hags, time is als...

Episode 52: “Britrock” from 2021-09-01T13:27:49

‘Ello guv’na! We’come to merry ol’ England, where’a the lo’ class lowlies tawk a’ike dis and e’ry one else, lo’ an’ behold is’a noble lawrd! Ain’t dat a piss in the pants? Sorry, excuse us, the gh...

Episode 51: "Journey through Time" from 2021-08-04T21:46:58

What is time? This is the question that has plagued humanity since we first walked this earth. Is time linear? Is it a wheel? Is it a rubber band? Is it a cyclone? Is it a myth? Can we only move fo...

Episode 50: "Journey to Shangri-La from 2021-08-01T13:25:37

Ahhh Nepal - the land where super jacked humanoid yetis give succour to glam rock girl groups as they foolishly trek across the Himalayas in pursuit of a magical land called Shangri-La, which actua...

Episode 49: “Renaissance Woman” from 2021-07-21T15:08:15

Unlike the rest of the world, which has been moving along the (darkest?) timeline at a pace generally approved by the Lord (of Eyeball)’s judging gaze (and judgy gays), Great Britain is stuck in so...

Bonus Episode: "Dungeons and Dragons" from 2021-07-14T17:19:35

Ahh, Dungeons and Dragons: the game that unites nerds from far and wide to come together, drape themselves in cloaks, gather their weapons and spell books,...

Episode 48: "The Middle of Nowhere" from 2021-07-08T14:17:48

So, imagine a cabal of greedy white people setting off to Indigenous territories that they know nothing about in order to unearth rich stores of profitable natural resources and make BILLIONS in th...

Episode 47: Mardi Gras from 2021-06-30T14:30:27

Mardis Gras is known throughout the world for being a time where messy drunk bitches congregate on the streets of New Orleans to commit all their debauchery before having to give it up for lent. Wh...

Bonus Episode: “The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert” from 2021-06-23T16:49:22

So, you already know that your Jem Girls are super queer/raging homosexuals/gay-for-pay (except no one is paying us, we lay on this level of gay for FREE) and we bring up drag-related content at ev...

Episode 45: Rock 'n Roll Express from 2021-06-16T17:01:13

We’re back on the Jem-train people, both literally and figuratively, because, as you can probably guess from the title of this episode, we’re jumping on the midnight train to Trainsville, USA.
Listen

Episode 45: Rock 'n Roll Express from 2021-06-16T17:01:13

We’re back on the Jem-train people, both literally and figuratively, because, as you can probably guess from the title of this episode, we’re jumping on the midnight train to Trainsville, USA. Ex...

Episode 44: Chopping Mall (The Movie Formerly Known as "Killbots") from 2021-06-09T15:51:14

If you’ve ever been to a shopping mall, you know those bitches be terrifying. For one, malls are teeming with sinister cabals of cane-brandishing and cloak-wearing elders who cast their judgmental ...

Episode 43: “The Presidential Dilemma” from 2021-06-02T15:01:56

Well, slap my cheeks and call me a lawn chair, we’re celebrating ‘merica! Not actually, because the folks “down south,” as we call them here in the frigid arctic tundra devoid of life and culture ...

Episode 42: “Trick or Techrat” from 2021-05-26T15:36:04

Oh, the end of May, the perfect time… to get spooky! Ok, not really, because we all know it’s only fun to be scared (reference!) in October. We have to justify a Halloween episode in the middle of ...

Episode 41: “KJEM” from 2021-05-19T16:19:42

Don’t turn that dial, because you’re listening to KJIZ FM, the hottest station on the airwaves bringing you Jem Girls realness every 69 minutes. Alright, so maybe you would turn that dial if you ...

Bonus Episode: "ThunderCats" from 2021-05-12T14:53:53

ThunderCats, hooooo! Hey, who you calling a hoe? Just kidding, we’re all sexual deviants here, especially the humanoid cat-creature bondage leather daddies that populate Thundera. Or, technically...

Episode 40: “Alone Again” from 2021-05-05T20:39:17

Wow, here we are, the rising of the eyeball sun. May it’s stellar gaze never set. Ocular solar objects aside, this is a momentous occasion for us here at Jem Girls because we are officially discu...

Episode 39: “Roxy Rumbles” from 2021-04-28T19:30:22

Ladies and gentlemen, the library is open! For real, the libraries are open. Go crack open a book instead of reading this nonsense. You know who can’t do the same? Our girl, the fashionista from...

Episode 38: “Danse Time” from 2021-04-21T17:16:10

What time is it? Dance time! Oh, wait, sorry, that’s supposed to be “dance” with an “s.” You know, like the name? Except you don’t because that’s some real nonsense. “Dance” ain’t no name, no mat...

Episode 37: “The Jazz Player” from 2021-04-14T20:57:17

A harsh (but nevertheless true) reality of this world is society’s division into two distinct groups. From birth to death, this immutable identity is constantly reinforced by external perceptions, ...

Episode 36: “Music is Magic” from 2021-04-07T14:39:08

In the world of mysticism there is “magic” and there are “illusions.” You know, the real deal of bending demonic forces to your whim versus smoke and mirrors stuff. What Orifice Jones does compared...

Episode 35: “Aztec Enchantment” from 2021-03-31T21:09:51

Welcome to Mexico! Where eagles pick up serpents on the regular and the only kind of enchantments being served are of the Aztec variety! At least that’s the guided tour of Mexico you get on Jem a...

Bonus Episode: "The Little Clowns of Happy Town" from 2021-03-24T16:32:50

Send in the clowns! Except, maybe don’t, because clowns are terrifying and at least 1/4 demon. But that’s just the way we like it here at Jem Girls, and this week we are diving deep into the fou...

Episode 34: “The Treasure Hunt” from 2021-03-17T16:26:07

What do street urchins, historical literary figures and the joy of imposing your wealth and will upon the financially impoverished have in common? No, this isn't a sassy synopsis of "Oliver Twist" ...

Episode 33: "Father's Day" from 2021-03-10T18:23:38

Happy Father’s Day, everyone! Okay, we’re a LITTLE late to the party (or early, because, really, what is time?) but so was this episode of Jem and the Holograms. Besides, we don’t really recognize...

Episode 32: “The Fan” from 2021-03-03T15:13:34

The Twilight Zone meets Jem and the Holograms in this descent into insanity of an episode. Well, deeper into the well of mental derangment than usual, at least, because we all know there be psychos...

Episode 31: “The Bands Break Up” from 2021-02-24T20:19:44

Over here at Jem Girls we’re always trying to queer the space. Cyberspace, crawlspaces, spacebars, spacecrafts, you name the space (within our out of the Jemisphere) and we’re queer’ing it. Thing...

Episode 30: “One Jem Too Many” from 2021-02-17T17:59:58

Imagine a world, nay, a dark reality where there isn’t one, but two pink-haired glam rock front-women running around causing utter mayhem for all those they encounter. Well, that, our friends, is e...

Episode 29: “Scandal” from 2021-02-10T14:32:05

Escándalo en Venice Beach! That would be the Spanish telenovelas title of this episode which, honestly, may be the superior form of Jem and the Holograms. Think about it. The plots rarely make s...

Episode 28: “The Talent Search” (Part 2) from 2021-02-03T12:00:33

You know we’re hype girls for Jem and the Holograms (we have a fudging podcast about it) but, for real real and not for play play, this is a two-parter-conclusion like no other. On the one side of...

Episode 27: “The Talent Search” (Part 1) from 2021-01-28T14:41:13

New year, new queers, new season of Jem and the Holograms! Ok, yah, we’re a little late to the “Happy New Year” party but all good things are worth the wait. Same goes for passably-acceptable cart...

Bonus Episode: "Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre" from 2021-01-20T17:06:15

No sharks were harmed in the making of this podcast.

Bonus (Holiday) Episode: "Christmas Comes to Pac Land" from 2020-12-23T15:53:07

You legit listening to this nonsense?

Bonus Episode: "Slumber Party Massacre" from 2020-12-16T17:30:49

We may be done with season one but there’s no rest for the wicked! Or, more specifically, no rest for the “super queer and very problematic,” aka your very own Jem Girls, because, while we are taki...

Episode 25: "Culture Clash" from 2020-12-09T19:54:40

So, uh… this is a bit awkward. We totally forgot about this episode of Jem and the Holograms before we posted the season finale. Turns out we can’t count and are kind of dumb. But you already kne...

Episode 26 “Glitter and Gold” from 2020-12-02T18:36:59

Wowza! Season one is one-and-done! Apparently that’s a basketball saying (go sports team!) but we’re folding it into the queer-sarcastic-problematic-nonsensical niche we’ve dug for ourselves over ...

Episode 24: “The Jem Jam” (Part Two) from 2020-11-25T15:30:11

Why are you even listening?

Episode 23: "The Jem Jam" (Part 1) from 2020-11-18T23:13:36

Episode 22: “Intrigue at the Indy 500” from 2020-11-11T18:30:53

You know what’s great about professional race car driving? Literally ANYONE can do it. Even rock stars with no experience outside of bi-weekly car chases with nondescript goons. Years of practice...

Episode 21: “Old Meets New" from 2020-11-04T15:51:52

Old people, what are they good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again! That would have been the main mantra of this episode of Jem and the Holograms except SOMEONE had to learn a lesson (looking a...

Episode 20: “Island of Deception” from 2020-10-28T22:10:26

Okay, so, like, we know that we queer read everything. No secret there, it’s just what we do. But right up here, in this “Island of Deception,” there is no need to queer any read because this episo...

Episode 19: “The Princess and the Singer” from 2020-10-21T16:35

Welcome to beautiful Morvania! Home of glaringly evil cousins, princess doppelgangers and, uh, dragons, apparently. Sorry, that’s should be “bomb-laden dragon statues,” as the Morvania travel broch...

Episode 18: "Hot Time in Hawaii" from 2020-10-14T14:11:10

What do all-girl glam rock groups, Hawaii, and Olympic-style sports competitions have in common? Nothing. Absolultey nothing. And, yet, by Satan’s grace (our boy JC definitely didn’t sign off on ...

Episode 17: "In Search of the Stolen Album" from 2020-10-07T15:45:06

When you hear the name “chubbet,” what kind of reaction does it illicit? Curiosity, because what the hell is a “chubbet”? Anger at such an awful sound? Unbridled disgust? All are correct because ...

Episode 16: "Broadway Magic" from 2020-09-30T16:41:08

Give us those sweet, sweet five stars :) <3

Episode 15: "The Rock Fashion Book" from 2020-09-23T15:24:02

It’s the next big thing! It’ll really give Jem and the Holograms the edge! It’s the latest in fashion and music! It’s a… “rock fashion book”? The hell is that noise? If only we knew. There are m...

Special Episode: The Legend of Zelda from 2020-09-16T14:45:25

Folks, we may have done it. We may have found the absolute worst cartoon to ever pop out of the 80s animation multiverses’s womb: The Legend of Zelda animated series. Excuuussseee us (as Link wou...

Episode 14: "The Music Awards, Part 2" from 2020-09-09T20:29:27

If an orphan falls from a tower and no one is around to care, did the orphan ever really fall? Well, yes, because physics, but it’s not like Jem would know because she has no idea her charges are...

Episode 13: “The Music Awards: Part 1” from 2020-09-02T14:00:56

Okay, so you know how we (justifiably) hate on Ashley for being the worst orphan/human being, ever? Well, enter Deidre, who takes things to a whole ‘nother level. Yes, it gets worse, fo...

Episode 12: "In Stitches" from 2020-08-26T23:15:46

Mama mia! Jem and the Holograms are in the magnifico, fantastico land of Italia, where all the men are gondoliers and all the women are tiny nonnas. The place where the moon hits your eye like a bi...

Episode 11: "Last Resorts" from 2020-08-19T22:17:46

Episode 10: "Adventure in China" from 2020-08-12T15:59:06

Welcome to China where the government may be authoritarian but they also have a hard on for Jem and the Holograms. Why? Maybe because Jem is the epitome of western opulence and vanity? Probably no...

Episode 9: "The World Hunger Shindig" from 2020-08-05T16:17:12

Buckle up and get comfy in your saddle, partner, because welcome to cowboy country. Jem and the Holograms head to Texas in the 9th episode of the series and the level of cowboy-realness in this s...

Episode 8: "Starbright (Part 3): 'Rising Star'" from 2020-07-29T21:00:46

We're finally here! The end of the "Ba Nee's Eyeballs Saga"! Okay, so this is actually the final episode of the "Jem makes a movie" arc but we're all about the eyeballs here at Jem Girls. Will ...

Episode 7: "Starbright (Part 2): 'Colliding Stars'" from 2020-07-22T18:00:53

Welcome to WenchFest 1985! We got forest wenches, princess wenches, racer wenches and even the seldom seen pirate wench! We got whichever wench you want! Okay, so WenchFest isn’t actually a thing ...

Episode 6: "Starbright (Part 1): 'Falling Star'" from 2020-07-15T12:19:05

Jem and the Holograms are making a movie! But not if the Misfits have anything to say about it. Plus, so many eyeballs! That's right, folks, we're back on the Jem-flow to bring you the first part o...

Special Episode: Dinosaucers from 2020-07-08T20:59:54

We're taking a break from our regular Jem-centric programming for a brief interlude into the world of Dinosaucers! It's even crazier than Jem if you can believe it!

Episode 5: "The Battle of the Bands" from 2020-07-01T16:28:28

Wait, Jem and the Holograms are in a battle of the bands? Oh, ya, right! I forgot two episodes ago! Never fear because your favourite Jem Girls are here to dive into the penultimate episode of Jem'...

Episode Four: "Frame Up" from 2020-06-24T13:58:39

Jem and the Holograms go to Vegas! We meet Drama Cowboy! And take a ride with Thicc Cowboy! For real, this episode is cowboy central in the best way and of course the Jem Girls are living for it.

Episode Three: "Kimber's Rebellion" from 2020-06-17T21:24:06

Third times the charm! Well, at least for the Jem Girls because while we're on a roll the third instalment of Jem's inaugural arc is far from charming!

Episode Two: "Disaster" from 2020-06-10T16:01:57

Hakuna Matitties & Orifice Jones, the Jem Girls, are back to hate-watch the second episode of Jem, "Disaster." And what a fitting name because this ep is a bit of a mess!

Episode One: "The Beginning" from 2020-05-03T22:03:48

Join the beloved hosts of Jem Girls (yes, they're already adored by all) as they love-hate-rewatch the first episode of Jem and the Holograms, "The Beginning."