Podcasts by Map the Maze

Recharge Your Batteries from 2022-11-24T05:15:25

If you're listening to this episode consider checking out the Youtube video on Map the Maze for visuals.  Today I wanted to talk about flow and the importance of achieving flow state to rec...

Interview with Sebastian Droesler (Pt 2) from 2022-10-08T02:41:38

Welcome back for the concluding part of this interview with Sebastian.  Join us again for the continuation of the conversation.

For more information about Sebastian and his work chec...

Interview with Sebastian Droesler (Pt 1) from 2022-10-01T02:38:05

After a long summer hiatus Map the Maze is back with a bang.  A two part interview with Sebastian Droesler counsellor and mindfulness coach.  We discuss life, the universe and everythi...

MTM Goes to the Movies - Life of the Party from 2021-12-13T05:01:45

For once a (mostly) positive movie about separation and divorce?   Melissa McCarthy's character goes on a massive journey as she learns of the divorce, goes back to college and learns ...

MTM Goes to the Movies - the Wedding Crashers from 2021-12-07T07:18:27

For the festive season I decided to look at some of the depictions of mediation on screen.  Starting with the Wedding Crashers in which Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughan are family mediators. H...

MTM Getting Help - Building a Team from 2021-11-21T19:00

Building a team and putting one together can help you get through separation and divorce in the best and most constructive way possible. First step is to identify who you already have in the tea...

Getting Help - Yourself from 2021-11-14T18:00

What are the ways you can help yourself?

• take care of yourself - sleep / eating / exercise
• flowstate
• journalling
• support groups

and ma...

Getting Help - Friends and Family from 2021-11-07T18:00

Almost everyone relies on friends and family to help them transition through separation and divorce. What do you need to know? Who is the hawk? moderate? dove? in your tribe?

Getting Help - Professionals from 2021-11-02T05:15:37

This month is all about getting help when going through separation and divorce.

Most people will seek professional help during their separation and divorce.  The most common that I s...

Atomic Divorce Habits Ep 4 from 2021-10-25T02:00

This week - what are some of the helpful ideas from James Clear's Atomic Habits that can be ad...

Atomic Divorce Habits Ep 3 from 2021-10-20T13:39:43

This week, I'll be talking about habit stacking and the Goldilocks principle both from James Clear's book Listen

Atomic Divorce Habits Ep 2 from 2021-10-11T00:00

James Clear, author of "Atomic Habits" explains that goals are good for setting a direction but systems are best for making progress.  How can people in family mediation build systems to he...

Atomic Divorce Habits from 2021-10-04T00:00

In Atomic Habits, James Clear illuminated how we build habits / why we stick to or abandon habits / how to build systems to support habits. A great book for anyone, but especially helpful ideas ...

Summer Book Club: Guide for Separated Parents (Karen and Nick Woodall) from 2021-08-09T10:00

When parents separate, it can be difficult to delineate the reaction to the ending of the adult relationship and the necessary continuation of the co-parenting relationship. This book is relativ...

Summer Book Club: Dating Radar from 2021-07-26T06:00

Today's book is about how to notice warning signs on the way into a relationship. Not the obvious choice for a list put together by a family mediator. However, Bill Eddy whose work I have previo...

Summer Book Club: Should I stay or should I go? from 2021-07-19T01:00

In marriage mediation I work with couples whose relationships have hit a crisis point. They have decided to try and reconcile and want to ensure there is space to allow this to happen.  In ...

Summer Book Club: BIFF for Coparent Communication from 2021-06-21T01:00

Launch of the Summer Book Club!    

Today, "BIFF for Coparent Communication<...

Debunking Top 5 Divorce Mediation Myths from 2021-06-14T01:00

I love mythology, but mediation myths can harm parties. Listen to find out the top 5 divorce mediation myths.

Nothing in this podcast is intended to be legal, financial or men...

Difficult Conversations - the Post Mortem from 2021-05-30T17:00

In this last episode in the difficult conversations topic, I talk about the post mortem.  After the difficult conversation, not many people reflect and view what happened.  Asking your...

Difficult Conversations: How Not to Lose Control from 2021-05-23T20:00

And the one most important tip - Move your body - n to find out why...r emotions. Don't let your emotions or reactions to the other person, distract you from achieving your goals. Listen to find...

How can we prepare for difficult conversations in family mediation? from 2021-05-17T00:00

Using ideas from a workshop on difficult conversations in the workplace, I wanted to share some ideas about difficult conversations in family mediation.  First step is preparation and in th...

What opportunities for better conflict management exist within mediation? from 2021-05-13T05:53:12

This is the last in the opportunity series.  What opportunities for better conflict management exist within family mediation? How can participating in family mediation lead to better conver...

How can mediation empower me around finances? from 2021-04-19T07:30:49

Next in the Opportunity series, a look at how mediation can empower people in respect of finances. 

Often people express fears about their finances:

• they have insuffici...
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How can mediation help me to co-parent with my ex? from 2021-04-05T01:00

Continuing the series about the opportunities in mediation, today I wanted to share ideas about how mediation can help parents with co-parenting.  As the adult relationship is coming to an ...

What opportunities does separation / divorce bring? from 2021-03-29T01:00

We often focus solely on the negative aspects of separation and divorce.  The impact of all the losses experienced by people in separation and divorce cannot be minimised, but it is not the...

How do we train family mediators?(3) from 2021-03-22T05:00

Final part in this series - focuses on communication.  Listen in to learn about what we teach mediators about listening, acknowledging, reframing and summarising.

How do we train family mediators? (2) from 2021-03-15T00:00

In the second part, I wanted to share some of the ideas that we use to train family mediators in respect of negotiation. We have all been at the market and done the salami slice school of negoti...

How do we train family mediators? (1) from 2021-03-09T06:03:36

In the next three episodes I wanted to share with you how we train family mediators. This week looks at the underlying philosophy and how family mediators try to work in children's best interest...

How do mediators see the stages of divorce? from 2021-03-01T07:36:56

Having looked at a few other ways to think about the stages of divorce and separation, today I wanted to share how I see the different stages. This can be a helpful way of seeing when people may...

What are the stages of divorce? from 2021-02-22T08:07:41

Today I'm sharing Kessler's 7 stages of divorce.  Why is it helpful to think about the stage of divorce you may be experiencing?  There are a few reasons why I think it's helpful:

View from the Top: Interview with Andrea Clark, trichologist from 2021-02-15T01:00

Today we are joined by Andrea Clark, trichologist.  Andrea shares with us her expertise and insights into the impact separation and divorce may have on our hair and scalp health.  She ...

What stage of divorce am I in? from 2021-02-08T01:00

Way back in 1970 Paul Bohannon identified what he described as the six station model of divorce.  Although 50 years has passed these stations remain true for parties experiencing divorce an...

How do I make changes to my mediated agreement? from 2021-02-01T01:00

It may be that life changes require a mediated agreement or a court order to be varied to take into account changes in life.  This can be foreseen if the changes relate to the developmental...

How do I sign the final agreement? from 2021-01-25T01:00

As the hard work of mediation draws to a close people start to focus on the mediated agreement. The status of this document is different in different jurisdictions and if you have questions you ...

How can I close the last gap in negotiations? from 2021-01-18T01:00

In some negotiations, the parties may reach a point of where it seems that there is no energy or creativity left to settle the last issue. This can be caused by:

•the cumulative effect of...

How to make a counter proposal? from 2021-01-13T04:27:05

When you receive a proposal in mediation, it is fine to refuse it. You can then wait for the other person to come back with another offer, or as part of a constructive negotiation dance, you can...

How to consider proposals? from 2021-01-04T01:00

When we receive a proposal from someone, we often respond with an instinctive "No" .  In mediation, there are a few key factors to considering a proposal which can help to close gaps, inclu...

How do I get my proposal accepted? from 2020-12-14T01:00

There are lots of factors to consider when making proposals in mediation.  Today I talk about:

• Where are we in the negotiation dance? Insult? Closing the gap?
• Does t...
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What do I need to know about joint sessions? from 2020-12-07T01:00

After the individual intakes, the family mediator will meet with both parties in the joint session.  What happens? what do you need to prepare? what should you expect? and importantly, how ...

What do I need to know about intake? from 2020-11-30T01:00

Most family mediators will meet with each party individually prior to mediation, this is often called an intake.  This episode covers what happens at intake, what questions you may be asked...

How to stay calm and not lose control in mediation? from 2020-11-23T01:00

In this episode, Listen

How do people try and survive their mediation? from 2020-11-16T01:00

When we perceive threats, we can react subconsciously with fight / flight / freeze / fawn responses.  What do these look like when we are trying to make arrangements in mediation for divorc...

Divorce - why does my life feel like its over? from 2020-11-09T01:00

For some people, separation and divorce can feel like their life is over.  Join Dr Monica Borschel and me to discuss how attachment style may...

Forgiveness: Let's land the planes! from 2020-11-02T08:09:07

In this week's episode I share his ideas on the 'how-to'  of forgiveness.

Some key ideas for Forgiveness

• Know exactly how you feel about what happened ...
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Forgiveness: how do the planes get up there? from 2020-10-28T05:20:48

Last week, I shared with you  Luskin's ideas about forgiveness, including the idea that we need to learn how to forgive for our health.  Luskin describes the challenge we each face whe...

Why should I forgive them? from 2020-10-19T01:00

As children we are often told to forgive others who hurt us.  When separating, people are often deeply hurt by the actions of the other person. Holding onto that pain and sense of powerless...

Why should I apologise? from 2020-10-12T01:00

In family mediation, people have often made choices, or behaved in ways which they regret.  These can have caused pain / anger for the offended person. Can an apology help? it depends. &nbs...

Time-travellers and divorce from 2020-10-05T01:00

It is easy to imagine how people experiencing separation and divorce may wish to time travel and make different choices.  In his book Two Homes One Childhood, Robert Emery challenges parent...

How do we tell the kids? from 2020-09-28T01:00

One challenge parents often confront is how to tell their children about the separation and divorce.  There is help at hand in Jean McBride's book, from counsellors or even in family mediat...

How do psychologists work in Child Inclusive Mediation? from 2020-09-21T04:00

Last week I talked about the Child Inclusive Mediation process.  Today, I welcome back Dr Monica Borschel who works as a child consultant to talk about child inclusive mediation in more det...

How can Children participate in Family Mediation? from 2020-09-14T02:00

Some parents want to involve their children in the family mediation process.   The safe way to hear a child's voice in the absence of a child would be to use the Child Inclusive Mediat...

How to work with a psychologist? from 2020-09-07T04:00

For some people experiencing separation and divorce, this may be the first time they have worked with a psychologist.  Today, I am delighted to welcome Dr Monica Borschel, attachment, loss ...

The Secrets to A Good Divorce? from 2020-08-31T09:37:55

in 1994 Constance Ahrons published her book, A Good Divorce.  The ideas she shared have relevance for families today.  Ahrons based her work on her Binuclear Family Study and it is ama...

How to communicate what you need! from 2020-08-24T02:00

Communication is as easy as going to the moon - go up, come down.  In reality communication in conflict is one of the hardest things we do as humans. In this I look at why communication is ...

Could online mediation be better than in-person? from 2020-08-17T02:00

We are all in the middle of a global experiment to move our work and practices to an online world and mediation is no exception.  This episode considers some of the concerns I hear from peo...

Top Tips for Zoom mediation from 2020-08-10T02:00

Zoom mediation is now an established option for family mediation. What are some ways you can make it more effective, productive and efficient?

• scheduling - ensure that zooms are wi...
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How to work with a lawyer from 2020-08-03T02:00

Based on my work with clients these are the top tips I have for working with a lawyer in family mediation, to ensure you get the most out of this relationship:

• get recommendations ...
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Top 5 Divorce Mediation Myths from 2020-07-27T02:00

There are many myths about divorce mediation - they all apply to separation as well!  Mediation is the myth buster.  In family mediation, we focus on what is practicable and possible.&...

What lies on the other side of the Maze? from 2020-07-20T07:00

Often people ask what is on the other side of the Maze? the answer is 'it depends'.  It may be that if you have no children, there is no need for further contact. However, if you have child...

How long does this take? from 2020-07-13T11:00

One question I am always asked is how long does it take to get through the maze? How long will it take to get this done? The unsatisfactory answer is that I don't know. 

From my pers...

Top 5 Steps to Get Through the Maze from 2020-07-06T03:55:49

This is just my list based on working with many people going through the Maze:

1. Find ways to manage emotions: feeling strong emotions is a natural part of separating, it is...
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What is the Maze? from 2020-06-29T04:49:45

What do I mean by the Maze? From my perspective of having worked with many families experiencing separation and divorce, the Maze consists of the systems and processes which you will both need t...

Why am I doing this podcast? from 2020-06-22T08:00

Welcome! In this podcast launch episode I will be: 

• introducing myself and my conflict journey
• explaining why as a family mediator I am creating this podcast
...
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Map the Maze: Trailer from 2020-05-21T04:12:57

Hi, my name is Sala Sihombing and I work as a family mediator. I work with people who are separating and divorcing and using mediation.  For some people it can feel like a maze with no end ...