Podcasts by The Roargasm: A Detroit Lions Podcast

We'll take the road win from 2023-12-05T13:15:30

In the aftermath of the Roar's split personality road win against the Taints, we huddle to determine what this strange game portents for the rest of the season.

Any win on the road is...

Are the wheels falling off the bandwagon? from 2023-11-30T20:27:02

The Roargasm crew sift through the wreckage of the Lion's Thanksgiving loss to the Slackers. Those cheesehead fuckers are clearly better than when we beat their ass earlier in the season. Bu...

The Lions pull one out of their ass from 2023-11-22T21:27:41

With Uncle Brother living it up in Europe, Lomas, Deano, and super special guest Big Don Feldman marvel at the Roar's absurd comeback against the Bears. After dining at the donkey ball buffe...

Donovan Peoples-Jones! from 2023-11-02T12:37:27

First, we're super-excited about the addition of Donovan Peoples-Jones to to the Roar family. Not necessarily because he's such an amazing player--although maybe he is ... we have no ide...

That Sucked from 2023-10-27T11:37:51

This episode is being posted several days after the disaster because, well, Lomas just wasn't very motivated to post it.

What is there to say except that the Lions got dem...

Are the Detroit Lions Elite? from 2023-10-17T12:14:39

After a brief hiatus to digest all the fucked up shit going down in the Middle East, the boys are back and more Roargasmic than ever!

Before podding, Uncle Brother sent an ema...

We are beside ourselves with Roargasmic joy! from 2023-09-30T16:57:05

That keening, otherworldly sound you heard Thursday night? The one that echoed across the land, an arresting amalgam of joy, relief, euphoria, insanity, and release after 7000 years of ineptitud...

Damn from 2023-09-22T00:08:30

With the disappointment of a tough loss at home still fresh, Impossible Lomas and Uncle Brother pod it out to hash out their feelings and try to figure out what the hell happened against the Sea...

Impossible Lomas Productions Presents: "O-Line" from 2023-09-10T03:07:34

O-Line

Frank Ragnow is brave and stout

Protects his quarterback

He opens up great big holes

For the Lions rush attack

He snaps the ball straight an...

#We're Built for this Shit! from 2023-09-09T18:08:45

ROAR! 🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁

We are, indeed, built for this shit!

Holy fucking shit. We won on the road against last year's Super Bowl Champs, on Thursday night, against the best QB in t...

Unleash the Roargasm! from 2023-08-30T22:15:55

After a long hibernation, the RAA crew is back for season 5 of ... The Roargasm! Yes, the podcast has a new name for a brand new era of Detroit Lions Football!

Uncle Brother T...

One Magical Night in Lambeau from 2023-01-11T14:28:45

RAA is truly at a crossroads, folks. Never have we podded so long and so hard, and never have we ended the season on such a note of optimism and high hopes.

We begin this radical episode ...

Forward Down The Field! from 2023-01-03T14:29:02

We came. We saw. We kicked Da Bears ass! And by "we," I mean both the Lions and the RAA crew, plus fellow roaraholics WorldWide Dock and Big Don. That's right, friends ... we journeyed to the in...

What were we thinking? from 2022-12-30T23:41:42

In the aftermath of the Lions deflating loss to the Panthers, we attempt to return to RAA core principles, beginning with an extra-long serenity prayer. But the question remains: were the Roar s...

Fucking ROAR! from 2022-12-21T00:02:01

We're all in, folks. All the fucking way in! 

In this unprecedented 10th episode (we usually bottom out around episode 6, when it's clear that the Lions will be sucking donkey balls ...

Entering Uncharted Territory from 2022-12-12T13:46:39

In the glorious aftermath of the Lions home win over the 10-2 (now 10-3!) Vikings, the crew revels in victory, despite years of intensive RAA therapy forbidding such enthusiasm. But you now what...

Wallbrook Calling from 2022-12-07T14:06:41

The Lions absolute thumping of the Jags pulls us back into the studio, where we contemplate what the fuck is going on. Does the Roar's ability to beat bad teams and (sometimes) hang with good on...

We're thankful for the Lions maybe not sucking quite as much as normal from 2022-11-30T14:44:01

The Lions less than putrid performance against the mighty Bills draws us back to the recording studio, somewhat against our will, to ponder the meaning of it all. And ponder we do, albeit to no ...

Just When We Thought the Season Was Over ... from 2022-11-22T13:29:53

We're back, mostly against our will. Wallbrook is bursting at the seams, as Roaraholics across the land teeter on the brink of total disaster. In the wake of the Lions' three-game winning streak...

RIP Lions 2022-20223 from 2022-10-24T14:21:31

Deano, Lomas, and Uncle Brother Ted conduct a memorial service for the Lions' 2022-2023 season, which really ended two weeks ago, when the Roar were shut out by the Pats, and was finally put to ...

The Art of Losing from 2022-10-03T23:02:28

Welp. Deano, Lomas, and Uncle Brother Ted can't help but marvel at the magnificence of the Lion's 48-45 home loss to the Seahawks. Just when you thought the Roar had truly embodied every possibl...

So close, yet ... from 2022-09-26T00:32:38

Uncle Brother Ted returns from a 3-hour journey into the woodlands to join the pod, with zero knowledge of what transpired in Minnesota. Deano and Lomas regal Ted with tales of the Lions 14-0 fi...

Matty Staff's Super Bowl Dream from 2022-02-27T17:05:06

Matty Staff’s Super Bowl Dream

Words and music by Uncle Ted, Deano Blandino, and Impossible Lomas

Growing up in Texas

You had a Super Bowl dream...

Ram Jam! from 2022-02-17T12:05:22

John Matthew Stafford is a Super Bowl champion. 

In case reading the above sentence made your brain explode right through your skull, pick up the pieces, reassemble, and read it agai...

The Ballad of Matty Staff from 2022-02-06T15:44:20

What? A February episode of RAA? That's right bitches! Thanks to the mighty hand and outstretched rocket  right arm of our savior, John Matthew Stafford, we have survived to pod another day...

Once again, this is the end from 2022-01-06T14:48:21

Well, ladies and gents (exclusively gents, actually), once again the RAA crew has run into a wall of Lions sucktitude and decided that this will be the final episode of this sorry, sorry season....

Matty Staff vs. The Detroit Globetrotters from 2021-10-26T12:59:16

The general tone of this episode is gobsmackedness ... Insofar as Impossible Lomas, Uncle Ted, and Deano Blandino are utterly gobsmacked that the Roar pulled off a first quarter onside kick and ...

Oh Lord, The Lions Will Always Suck from 2021-10-26T03:12:16

Impossible Lomas Productions is proud to present the latest addition to the RAA liturgy.

Rock Bottom from 2021-10-22T22:26:25

In this heartfelt episode, Deano once again bares his soul and, in the tone of a man whose spirit has been good and fully crushed, wonders aloud why the Lord has afflicted with Roaraholicism ......

A Roaring Conspiracy from 2021-10-13T13:37:49

The Roar lose on yet another last second, 50+ yard field goal, for the second week in a row, becoming the only team to undergo such humiliation and gut punch madness. We are ... nonplussed? Afte...

Why? from 2021-10-05T13:08:13

The RAA crew--Uncle Ted, Deano Blandino, and Impossible Lomas--don't spend much time breaking down the Lions expected loss to the nearly as horrible Bears because, really, what's there to say? T...

Getting Better? (It can't get no worse) from 2021-10-01T13:34:47

Uncle Ted, Deano, and Impossible Lomas once again meld their minds to deliver to you, our devoted listener, another penetrating, scintillating, and enervating episode of RAA. We debate the prope...

Ho Hum from 2021-09-23T13:27:13

In this riveting episode of RAA ... Impossible Lomas, Uncle Ted, and Deano Blandino review the Lion's desultory and entirely predictable loss to the Packers on the road, remarking on how thrille...

Rams Are Awesome! from 2021-09-17T12:19:55

Opening the show with a bold, nay, STUNNING gambit, Uncle Ted reveals an astonishing rebrand of RAA: Rams Are Awesome! Blindly following Ted's lead, we revel in Matty Staff's auspicious debut in...

Remember us? We're back for more! from 2021-09-02T16:02:43

The RAA crew--Deano Blandino, Uncle Ted, and Impossible Lomas--are back for Season 3! Deano tells the sordid tale of being emasculated by a bowling pro shop proprietor, signing up for bowling le...

50 Ways to Trade Matt Stafford from 2021-02-07T00:08:38

Another hot Impossible Lomas production ...

Music by Paul Simon

Lyrics by Uncle Ted

So long, Matty Staff from 2021-02-05T03:18:26

Just when we thought we were out ... they drag us back in! For once, the Lions Football Club does something unpredictable and arguably smart, namely moving on from the Matt Stafford era. The onl...

Wrapping up another shitty season from 2021-01-12T14:25:13

The RAA crew grudgingly reconvenes for one last pod to eulogize another season that, much like a crippled and ailing dog, desperately needed to be put down and put out of its misery. Should the ...

Farewell Quinntricia ... and Good Riddance from 2020-12-02T00:31:03

One of the few things that could have brought the RAA crew out of retirement actually happened ... the long-awaited sacking of Matt Patricia and Bob Quinn! And yet, we fail to muster much glee. ...

Dark Days Ahead from 2020-11-05T15:26:07

This dark and dreary episode gets off to an appropriately inept start when Deano--who had one goddamn job!--sends the Zoom link 55 minutes late. By the time the crew finally logs on, Uncle Ted i...

The Most Lions Win Possible from 2020-10-28T17:04:41

We officially add Matt Fantetti's prayer to the liturgy ... In the aftermath of a wild, stupid, and utterly predictable last-second comeback win against the Falcons, the RAA crew is forced to ac...

Hoff! from 2020-10-20T13:41:19

The crew is so excited to welcome special guest Matt "Fatnose" Hoff that we forget to say the Serenity Prayer ... Matt demonstrates a still-impressive knowledge of college football mascots ... I...

Impossible Lomas Nails It! from 2020-10-06T21:43:06

Deano comes crashing back to earth after the Lions latest loss ... Impossible Lomas gloats just a little for having nearly perfectly predicted the score (IL predicted Saints 35 - Roar 27; Actual...

Deano Gone Wild from 2020-09-30T14:08:24

Deano is officially off the wagon, folks ... In the wake of the Lion's improbable victory against the Cardinals, Deano goes full Blandino, hootin' and hollerin' about the glorious resurgence of ...

Same Old Lions from 2020-09-24T13:48:25

Impossible Lomas Productions presents: "Same Old Lions"

It's a wrap from 2020-09-22T17:57:59

Deano Blandino, Uncle Ted, and Jer, from now on known as "Impossible Lomas", find comfort in knowing that the season is essentially over. Ted proves as much with a chart showing that teams that ...

Another great start ... from 2020-09-14T22:30:27

Where to begin? Uncle Ted deliberately (and without much arm twisting) not only does not watch or listen to the game but begins recording without any knowledge of  the horror the unspooled ...

We're Back! from 2020-09-11T13:08:14

We're back, ya'll! Season 2 of Roar-Aholics Anonymous ... with Dan "Deano" Shere, Uncle Ted Lowy, and Jeremy "Baghead" Shere, all of us struggling to stay on that rickety wagon, knowing full wel...

Goodbye and Good Riddance from 2020-01-03T14:10:55

Our final episode of a truly stupid and shitty season. True to form, we struggle mightily to simply begin recording, causing Ted to sweat through his shirt and sell his eldest daughter into sex ...

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend ... from 2019-11-26T21:53:29

So, because there wasn't much Lions stuff to talk about (they lost to the goddamn Redskins), we pretty much just wing it. We dive deep into the Simon and Garfunkel discography. Ted delivers a st...

Going Deep from 2019-11-20T15:24:09

Jeremy jumps out with a scorching hot take and is then literally knocked off the podcast by the force of Deano's rebuttal. In J's absence, Ted and Dean go deep, plumbing the depths of Lions fand...

Nothing Matters Anymore from 2019-11-15T02:02:05

Well, the season is pretty much over. So, what's the point of doing this podcast? Whatever. In this episode, we pretty much don't talk about the Lion's loss to the Bears, because, well, you know...

We begin to abandon hope from 2019-11-04T04:37:35

The pod welcomes a new contributor: representing the West Coast, Bay Area, it's Todd's brother, Adam. Welcome, Air Low. You're just in time to join the podcast as our thoughts turn dark and we b...

The Lions of Podcasting from 2019-11-01T02:02:41

Yes, we are the Detroit Lions of podcasting. We keep running into technical difficulties, making it harder to edit the episode, in turn making it more difficult to publish episodes in a timely m...

Lions lose in desultory fashion, Lomas and Barre Sanders weigh in from 2019-10-22T21:38:26

The Lions got beat by a better team on a winning streak. Kirk Cousins has the highest QB rating (can't remember which rating exactly) among all NFL QBs. He's legitimately playing at a high level...

The Lions get jobbed by the refs--again! from 2019-10-17T14:12:48

Yes, we're aware we're  posting this episode a little late in the day. But Jewish holidays got in the way again. Anyhow, in this super long episode we try to wrap our collective minds aroun...

The Bye Week Episode from 2019-10-08T01:26:53

It's a bye week, ya'll! In this episode we discuss the pros and cons of the bye week for Roaraholics. Todd takes use down a statistical rabbit hole, and brother Dan digs up some old emails from ...

Emergency Prejaculions Syndrome Podcast from 2019-10-02T23:19:19

Are the Lions sorta, kinda, just maybe ... not a total dumpster fire? Is it even remotely possible that the Lions are ... good? After all, they more than held their own against the mighty Chiefs...

The Lions are undefeated ... and we're miserable from 2019-09-23T01:15:37

The Detroit Lions won on the road, against a team with a supposedly good quarterback. True, the Eagles played like shit and the Lions did their classic "fail to put the other team away when you ...

Why on earth are we doing this? (Lions 13 - Chargers 10) from 2019-09-16T00:22:16

Why on earth are we doing this podcast? The truth is, we're doing it against our better judgement. The three of us--Jeremy Shere, Dan Shere, and Todd Hasak-Lowy, all grew up in the metro Detroit...